How small am I? Small enough to fall down the cracks and become lost in an underground labyrinth filled with ghoulies and beasts and screaming creatures that sound like me. Small enough to slip down the plughole and drown in the drain tangled in scummy clumps of my own dyed, dead hair. Small enough to be stepped on and squished into the carpet, but nobody ever scrubs away the little stain that is me because I’m the only one who ever cleans anything in this house.
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on January 5, 2012
http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/dotty-the-dot/
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This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
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I don't do television or face-to-face interviews. I might do pre-booked telephone interviews but only if you can pay me in the Queen's precious coin. No Euros, no Dollars, and definitely no plastic cards with spying-for-the-government computer chips in them.
All enquiries to:
dottyheadbanger AT gmail.com
Paparazzi - Don't camp outside my house again or I'll set my 12 Rottweilers on you. Dotty's Rotty's will EAT YOUR FACE.
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
EAT ME, EAT ME!
pouringmyartout
/ March 19, 2012I love the way you can go from pathos to preposterous in nothing flat. From 80 MPH to 80 MPH backwards, without ever applying the brakes or changing gears. Hows do you do that?
Dotty Headbanger
/ March 19, 2012Dear pmao,
I like spinning round and doing wheelies and skids.
Love Dotty xxx