Oh, but they are stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. STUPID. When I tell you who I’m talking about you’ll agree with me and if you don’t, if you’ve ever said this thing that they say, which I’m about to tell you – well – well I don’t know what I’ll say to you if you have ever said it except DON’T EVER SAY IT AGAIN because it’s one of the most stupid things you could ever say. Saying it makes you look stupid, and I know you’re not stupid or you wouldn’t be reading my little blog.
Imagine you’re watching a game show. It doesn’t matter which one, just make it one that has a quizmaster, a contestant and a question.
The contestant is in his twenties. He’s answered most of his (or her) previous questions, he’s been to university, he’s got a good job. He doesn’t SEEM stupid –
UNTIL
the quizmaster asks the next question and the next question is something like one of these questions —
In which year did England win the world cup?
In which year did Elvis Presley die?
How long did Queen Victoria reign?
Who was the first man on the moon?
How many Number One songs did the Beatles have?
And the contestant’s answer is
‘I DON’T KNOW, I WASN’T BORN THEN.‘
On how many levels of STUPID does this contestant live? ALL OF THEM, that’s how many. I was going to do a long post about EACH LEVEL OF STUPIDITY but I decided not to because if you don’t know how STUPID this answer is then have a little think about it and if you still don’t know – DON’T ASK ME because all I will say is YOU ARE VERY, VERY STUPID AND YOUR STUPIDNESS WILL ONLY BECOME MORE STUPID AS YOU GET OLDER, YOU STUPID,STUPID PERSON.
P.S. Did anyone notice the absence of swear words in this post? Did you notice how well I did? Not even ONE swear word. I deserve a treat for that and I’m going to have one. Now.
The Uncle In The Attic
/ March 8, 20121966?
1977
63 yrs.
Neil Armstrong
20?
Dotty Headbanger
/ March 8, 2012Dear Uncle,
I don’t know, I wasn’t born then.
Love Dotty xxx
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
The Uncle In The Attic
/ March 8, 2012I time travel. Those are the best guesses as I glimpse the passage.
Uncle
Dotty Headbanger
/ March 8, 2012Dear Uncle,
Could you bring me a cat from 1412? Such an old moggy might scare the cats next door and keep them off my plants.
Love Dotty xxx
saradraws
/ March 8, 2012if you write it “ST*PID” it looks pretty swear-y.
Dotty Headbanger
/ March 8, 2012Dear Sara,
ST*PID – yeeeesss, it’s okay but it’s not as satisfying as saying DELETED DELETED DELETED DELETED DELETED DELETED — sorry, I had to delete that little slip-up because if you cross it out you can still see what’s underneath.
Love Dotty xxxx
clownonfire
/ March 8, 2012Dotty,
You did not swear.
But I did feel your dismay when you added two spaces between the words “the” and “next” in “the quizmaster asks the next question and the next question is something like one of these questions”.
I do hope you’ll get some shut eyes tonight.
COF
Dotty Headbanger
/ March 9, 2012Dear clown,
Well I didn’t get any shut eye (stupid expression) last night thanks to your kind and generous helpfulness in pointing out my over-use of the space bar. I have no excuse for it, all I can say is these things sometimes happen as part of my mentalness – with HYPOMANIA comes TYPOMANIA and much as I try to curb it, sometimes it overwhelms me and I can’t hold back – the wild and urgent need to hit the space bar over-rides each and every part of me and sometimes I just can’t fight it any more, the urge is too great and all-consuming. I am very sorry you had to witness it and I’ll try my utmost never to do it again.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ March 9, 2012Dear Dotty, You demonstrate marvelous restraint! I remember a 14-year-old saying he didn’t like the Beatles’ sound — way too happy. But he wasn’t on a TV show where he likely got there for being smart! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Love, Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ March 9, 2012Dear Judith,
It wasn’t just one person who said it – I’ve heard it said loads of times on telly by all sorts of STUPIDS.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. STUPID should be given the additional status of being a ‘NOUN’.
butimbeautiful
/ March 9, 2012I’d like all stupid people to go to Heaven. Straight away. (even though, some of them are probably nicer than clever people, come to think of it). Anyway this contestant will get more knowledgeable as he gets older, having a greater span of years to draw on, I guess..(she says, stupidly)
Dotty Headbanger
/ March 9, 2012Dear butimbeautiful,
I don’t mind normal, every day stupidity – it makes me feel intelligent. It’s STUPID stupidity that makes me want to cut out their tongues and sellotape them to their foreheads.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 24, 2012If there were no stupid people, it wouldn’t be fun to be not stupid.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 25, 2012Dear pmao,
True.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 25, 2012I am sorry I did another Dick picture. I apologized right in the post to you…
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 25, 2012Dear pmao,
No more!
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 25, 2012ok