Why Do I Bother? Eh? Tell Me, Because I Don’t Know

Right, to start with I’ve put my newest fascinating collection on display here –

Next, I want to ask why loads of you have just rudely dismissed the work I put into making YOUR new page

Have I got MUG written across my forehead? Do I do these things for the good of my health? NO I FUCKING WELL DON’T – SO, FOLLOWERS, READERS - GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LIST and other people will visit you and follow you and we will all be like ONE BIG HAPPY FUCKING FAMILY.

ALL RIGHT?

WELL GO ON THEN, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

I HAVE 850,492,786.5 FOLLOWERS AND ONLY 17 OF YOU HAVE POSTED LINKS TO YOUR BLOGS ON DOTTY’S PET BLOGS. SHAME ON YOU ALL.

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT —- If you’re wondering, the Dotty’s Pet Blog page is working, I’m seeing more clicks than ever before. So I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to add YOURS to the list, unless you don’t want anyone to read it, but in that case MAKE IT PRIVATE.

40 Comments

by Dotty Headbanger on March 19, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Fake Non Fiction

Tagged beauty, blog, blogging, bloody rubbish, British, collections, Comedy, Depression, doobydoobydoo, Dotty Headbanger, family, food, funny, grumpy, humor, humour, I AM MENTAL, Insanity, Life, lists, Mad Shit, mental, mental health, misc, News, pile of shite, psychiatry, psychology, Random, rant, satire, social anxiety, thoughts, why bother?, words

Posted by Dotty Headbanger on March 19, 2012

http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/why-do-i-bother-eh-tell-me-because-i-dont-know/

40 Comments

Grumpy
/ March 19, 2012

Dear Dotty,
You could have started a stats competition with a Cumberland Sausage Sandwich as first prize!
http://alanfrancis.wordpress.com

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 19, 2012
  
  Dear Grumpy,
  Thank you for doing your link but it’s in the wrong place so you’ll have to do it again in Dotty’s Pet Blogs – I can’t find a way to move comments around.
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
judithatwood
/ March 19, 2012

Dear Dotty,

You are good for my soul!!!
Love,

Judith

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 19, 2012
  
  Dear Judith,
  Yay!
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
ranton2011
/ March 19, 2012

Dearest Dotty,
You are all the crazy I aspire to be one day! You are too good!

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 19, 2012
  
  Dear ranton,
  Thank you. I’ve had a lot of practice.
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
Lill and Jill
/ March 19, 2012

How splendid! We feel like we’ve discovered a long lost cousin more demented than us …Lill & Jill

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 19, 2012
  
  Dear Lill and Jill,
  I don’t know which of you I like best yet – I’m waiting to see if one of you turns out to be like my sister Lottie (a fucking horrible bitch).
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
  - Lill and Jill
    / March 19, 2012
    
    *Gasp* I hope neither of us then! Though you don’t want to mess with Lillian before she’s been caffeinated – imagine a Linda Blair/Naomi Campbell hybrid *shudder* …J
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 19, 2012
    
    Dear Lill and Jill,
    You can deny it all you want but I’ll find out soon enough. I’m good at corrupting nice people.
    Love Dotty xxx
  - Lill and Jill
    / March 19, 2012
    
    Well if it’s to be we wouldn’t want it done by any other – let us know your verdict when it arrives …J
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 19, 2012
    
    Dear Lill and Jill,
    Okey-dokey.
    Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ March 19, 2012

I have more followers than you so I don’t need to go to Judith’s blog but I will to humor you. Kidding, I have 1/1,000,000,000th of the followers you have.

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 19, 2012
  
  Dear robin,
  Look on the right hand side to see how many followers I really have.
  Love Dotty xxx
  P.S. go and add your link to the Pet Blogs page
  
  Reply
  - robincoyle
    / March 19, 2012
    
    I just did!
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 19, 2012
    
    Dear robin,
    
    Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ March 19, 2012

I don’t see the number? I’m I blind from reading all of my fan mail?

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 19, 2012
  
  Dear robin,
  Do you see the ‘sign up for email’ box just underneath where I’m lying on the floor with my balloons? It’s there.
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
robincoyle
/ March 19, 2012

Nope – It just says I am following your blog. Maybe the number goes away when you follow?

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 19, 2012
  
  Dear robin,
  Ah, yes, I didn’t think of that. It says ‘Join 1½ other followers.’
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
  - robincoyle
    / March 19, 2012
    
    I do have you beat because I have 2 followers.
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 19, 2012
    
    Dear robin,
    GO AND DO YOUR LINK AND YOU MIGHT GET SOME MORE.
    Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ March 20, 2012

Dotty,
I visit you more often than I visit my mom.
CoF

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 20, 2012
  
  Dear clown,
  But you never bring me PRESENTS.
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
  - clownonfire
    / March 20, 2012
    
    Dear Dotty,
    I bring myself.
    Enough said.
    CoF
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 20, 2012
    
    Dear clown,
    Not even a pack of Cumberland sausages. Look down at the next message, SSM has got me a fridge full of them and she’s a therapist, they don’t usually give you anything except a MASSIVE HEADACHE.
    Love Dotty xxx
Southern Sea Muse
/ March 20, 2012

Posting my link would be an ethical conflict of interest in a therapeutic relationship (you ready to come out yet?!). Besides, I have to limit my connections to your page because I have young children, some of whom are not yet familiar with some of the expletives you post in bold fonts. No insult intended. Really, you should come visit…you might like the beach, especially the ones with no people. And I have tactics to shoo away seagulls, if need be.

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 20, 2012
  
  Dear SSM,
  I understand you want to protect little ears, that’s fine.
  But what sort of therapeutical tactic HEAPS A PILE OF GUILT ONTO YOUR PATIENT? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I don’t visit, I try to visit as many people as I can but it’s terribly, horribly hard to visit people WHEN YOU CAN’T GO OUT. Oh, the guilt. I need my brick. Look what you’ve done to me.
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
  - Southern Sea Muse
    / March 20, 2012
    
    There, now…come hither…I’ve a tissue and a fridge full of Cumberland sausages, just for you…
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 20, 2012
    
    Dear SSM,
    Will you cook some for me? And make me a sandwich?
    Love Dotty xxx
  - Southern Sea Muse
    / March 21, 2012
    
    Most certainly…what time shall I expect you?
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 21, 2012
    
    Dear SSM,
    Don’t you do house calls?
    Love Dotty xxx
tadams4u
/ March 21, 2012

You are cracking me up!

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / March 21, 2012
  
  Dear tadams,
  Why? How? Are you my brick, talking to me through my blog?
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
  - tadams4u
    / March 21, 2012
    
    Oh no, Miss Dotty has discovered my disguise…
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / March 21, 2012
    
    Dear tadams
    I know it’s you.
    Love Dotty xxx
lowerarchy
/ September 8, 2012

Dear Dotty

You ask, “Why do I do it?”

I think you do it because it’s better than reading the shite others write?

Dave xx

PS Not counting my shite of course.

Reply
- Dotty Headbanger
  / September 9, 2012
  
  Dear Dave,
  
  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
  
  Love Dotty xxx
  
  Reply
  - lowerarchy
    / September 9, 2012
    
    Dear Dotty
    
    I’ll take that as a ‘yea’
    
    I remain, madam, your rumble-tumble servant (whatever that means)
    
    D xx
  - Dotty Headbanger
    / September 10, 2012
    
    Dear Dave,
    
    Yea!
    
    Love Dotty xxx