WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
I KNOW WHY THE SMURFS AREN’T VISITING ME.
WHO DID IT TO THEM?
WHO?
WHY HAS NO ONE DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
CAMERON
OBAMA
OTHER LEADERS WITH BIG BOMBS
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES
IT’S AN
ATROCITY
TO ALLOW THIS SORT OF THING TO GO ON IN THIS DAY AND AGE
WHO TORTURED THEM?
WHO PUT THEM ON THE RACKS AND STRETCHED AND STRETCHED AND STRETCHED THEM?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO THE LITTLE SMURFS?
WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THEM INTO BIG SKINNY THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE THE BFG BUT FLOPPIER AND UGLIER AND BLUER?
WHY?
AND THAT POOR FEMALE SMURF, THEY MADE HER INTO AN ABOMINATION AND SHE HAD TO SHAG THE HUMAN WHO BECAME A SMURF WHO ALSO GOT STRETCHED AND THEY MADE HER INTO AN
AVATART
AVATART
Score - 0 out of 10 because torture and cruelty should never be used as entertainment
judithatwood
/ April 2, 2012Dear Dotty,
Finally, a review with which I agree. She was an Avatart, wasn’t she? Poor Smurfs. The indignities they suffered to make a bad blockbuster movie that is nothing but cowboys and blue indians. Effects are good, story and expression of this story, whacked!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear Judith,
Yep. And the scene that was almost a sex scene was just WRONG - I had to cover my eyes, stretched Smurf porn is nothing but NASTY.
I don’t know why I watched it all the way through but I did.
Love Dotty xxx
bitchpig
/ April 2, 2012Heh heh heh avartart sounds like AAAAAAAAARRRRRDDDVARK! And that is an even better word than bitchpigplonker
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear bitchpig,
It depends which accent you say it in. Northern Ireland is the funniest.
Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ April 2, 2012Dotty,
And all of these atrocities were done in 3D, for your viewing pleasure.
Le Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear clown,
That’s a hundred types of wrong – Hollywood snuff movies in 3D? I never thought I’d see the day. Come back Kevin Costner, all is forgiven.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ April 2, 2012I haven’t even seen the movie and probably never will since I rarely watch movies but now you’ve saved me from ever watching it because I certainly don’t want to see smurfs that have been defiled and rolled out like pizzas being made into whores and coerced into doing God knows what for some Hollywood producer….sorry I am ranting….Thank you for saving me from this evil putritude Dotty!
Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear Dorothy,
You’re welcome. If you ever do want to watch a film I’d recommend A Bronx Tale.
Love Dotty xxx
cooper
/ April 2, 2012at least the smurfs were not hideously long, boring and cliched…..
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear cooper,
I’m sorry, I’ll try to make my posts shorter, more interesting and less cliched in future.
Love Dotty xxx
cooper
/ April 2, 2012not your post…the film…geez oh man….
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear cooper,
Ah! good job as well, I was about to get the paper bag out for you again.
Love Dotty xxx
owl
/ April 2, 2012Dear Dotty,
Don’t even get me started.
Love,
Owl
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear owl,
Go on, get started.
Love Dotty xxx
tadams4u
/ April 2, 2012Dear Dot,
Did you see the Smurf movie? It was pretty cute…. It will show you that after Avatar, they shrunk them all back down.
Brick
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear Brick,
Really? Did they? I’m going to find it and have a look.
Love DOTTY
DOTTY
DOTTY
NOT
DOT
XXX
tadams4u
/ April 2, 2012LOL….. OK, I’ll be good….You might break out the sledge hammer and that no good on a brick
Love Brick…
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear Brick,
No, I’d never do that to a brick. I love my bricks.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 2, 2012Not everything that is blue is also a smurf. Blueberries are not smurfs. Dick Cheney’s balls are not smurfs. The sky is not a smurf, and most of these things are not visiting you either, so maybe blue things just hate your guts.
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear pmao,
Blueberries don’t have their own country, Dick Cheney (whoever HE is) doesn’t have his own country (does he?), the sky DOES have its own country situated in THE SKY, but the Smurfs DO have their own country in the world and if the tiny Dominican Republic and Netherlands Antilles and Taiwan etc etc etc can visit me, why can’t the Smurfs?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 2, 2012Because if they do, then your mental condition has deteriorated to the point where we may have to have you locked up for your own protection… in a padded cell full of smurfs…
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear pmao,
Has Useless Judas sent you to spy for him?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 2, 2012I spy with my little eye…
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear pmao,
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 2, 2012Wait, there was no message between those…
I am losing my mind and my sight…
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear pmao,
Tell me you’re not a spy and I’ll talk to you.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 2, 2012I do not have a sneaky bone in my body. I couldn’t be a spy if I wanted to, which I don’t. You have read all about me. Do you think anyone would use me as a spy? Seriously?
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear pmao,
My brother would try his damnedest. He’s very convincing when he wants something.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 2, 2012I have never met him, and I wouldn’t betray you. What could he offer me? A knighthood?
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear pmao,
Yes. He got his mate knighted a few years ago just for helping him organise the clearance of Saddam’s palace after he caught him. Sir Billy Smith.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 2, 2012Sir Arthur Browne does have a nice ring to it…
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear pamo,
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ April 2, 2012I HATED that movie – all 4,687 hours of it. At least that is how long the torture felt.
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 2, 2012Dear robin,
But the torture of the Smurfs was MUCH worse.
Love Dotty xxx