I’ve got you sussed, you sad old SCROTE.
You want me to write a post about you so you can steal EVEN MORE OF MY FOLLOWERS and PRETEND THEY WERE YOURS TO START WITH and that’s fine, here I am writing a post about you because I’m nice and kind like that, but really, all you had to do was ask.
So go on everyone, go and join the old goat’s blog, he NEEDS you, he’s DESPERATE, so DESPERATE he copied my 200 FOLLOWERS badge and pretended it was his own because he couldn’t bear to think I’d beat him to 200, just like he copies EVERYTHING of mine. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery – NO IT’S NOT, IT’S JUST COPYING, YOU NUMPTY so find your own ideas, stop nicking mine.
And he called me a THIEF. Well I’m NOT a convicted thief, Dibble gave me Cautions each time.
Is he hopeless?
Is he useless?
Is he desperate?
Is the Pope waterproof?
YES to all of the above – but pity La Popinjay, please, my lovelies. Charity is good for the soul.
P.S. You’re probably thinking, ‘Why should I bother going to see a blog written by a BABBLING INGRATE?‘ and you’d be correct in thinking that so to be honest I’d advise you to GO HERE INSTEAD.
P.P.S. OY, ARSEWIPE – I don’t live in a flat so GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT. Shows how much you actually READ.
Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 
the howler and me
/ April 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
I was wondering what you were going to cook up to get that painted ingrate back. This is the perfect way 🙂 I love it!!!!
Love,
the howler and me
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear the howler and me,
Thank you. 🙂
And you’re my FIRST WITNESS if he tries to come back with any shite – you and The Howler were MINE first. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ April 9, 2012Dotty,
Such a petty reaction, saddens me, really.
But what else should I expect from The Fucking Queen of England.
Aren’t there any reruns of Coronation Street playing right now to entertain you?
Le #1 Dotty Fan Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear La Popinjay,
I’m being entertained quite nicely, thank you, by all the traffic you and Sara are getting and all the Likes and Comments I’m NOT getting. It’s hilarious.
Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ April 9, 2012Dotty,
Well your “200 followers” aren’t coming…
And don’t tell me it’s because of Easter Monday, and everyone’s busy doing some other shit. Pfft.
Dotty’s “10 FOLLOWERS”, come my way. I promise to love you.
Le Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Idiot,
Even 10 followers is more than I got from you. I’ve only had a measly 3 and I think I saw a chicken scuttling out of your place but it was squawking too much for me to catch it. Oh, wait a minute, was that you?
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Sara has more clicks than you. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
clownonfire
/ April 9, 2012Dotty,
Sara is a better writer than Le Clown. And you.
Le Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Div,
Shut up. Go and find someone else to steal followers from.
Love Dotty xxx
Jennifer Worrell
/ April 9, 2012I love me a little blog drama in the morning…
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Jennifer,
He knows I’ll win, I always do. No one beats Dotty.
Love Dotty xxx
saradraws
/ April 9, 2012My cherished Dotty,
I always knew I was your favourite (at least between that guy and me).
You are my favourite English person, but you probably already knew that.
Yours in shameless flattery,
Sara
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Sara,
I think you’re the favourite half of the two of you for EVERYONE.
And I think you’re very brave being married to such a DUNCE. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Ink. [Anette]
/ April 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
I saw Le Clown making a fire.
He was fumbling with the matches.
You poured a gallon of fuel on the liar.
I’ll watch when he pops through the hatches.
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Anette,
He’ll pop quickly, he’s LA POPINJAY.
Love Dotty xxx
Ink. [Anette]
/ April 9, 2012Popping foppish.
maggiemyklebust
/ April 9, 2012You tell em Dottie!
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Maggie,
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Maggie O'C
/ April 9, 2012I have to agree, no one beats Dotty. Just ask me. Goddam Wuthering Heights.
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Maggie,
🙂 = my big, smug cheesy grin
Love Dotty xxx
free penny press
/ April 9, 2012Best sideshow I’ve witnessed all year..:-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear ffp,
It’s very charitable of you to throw La Sideshow Bob over there a token penny every so often. It keeps the twat happy, bless him.
Love Dotty xxx
kzackuslheureux
/ April 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
Stupid North Americans think everyone lives in a “flat” across the pond… they just want to use the only British term they can remember. Can I label le Clown an old Scrote, too? I love it!
Love, Alphabet
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear Alphabet,
He might cry if you call him names – he likes it from me because I’m British and he knows we have a natural superiority to everyone else in the world. It’s a bit like Supernanny but with bigger babies. But I’ll ask him and see what he says —
OY, FUCKFACE – ALPHABET WANTS TO KNOW IF SHE CAN CALL YOU AN OLD SCROTE TOO.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 9, 2012I have no idea what that was about, but I guess you told him.
Old scrote indeed!
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear pmao,
It was about a twat.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ April 9, 2012He can’t be both of those things, can he?
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear pmao,
Yes.
Love Dotty xxx
Veggiewitch
/ April 9, 2012Dearest Dotty,
I’m so very happy to have found your blog via Le Clown.
I love to share your posts with my Mister and Elflings, too.
My Mister is a bit of a Wally, but he does enjoy your blog.
If I can ever get him to set up a blog, he’ll follow you, too.
Reminds me… my middle Elfling has a blog. I’ll let her know
to follow you as well.
Much love,
Veggiewitch ♥
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear veggiewitch,
Thank you very, very much for coming to see ME FIRST before you went to see La Popinjay. He’ll have a fit when he notices.
I’ll be very welcoming and kind to ALL your family if they follow my blog. And I know you like your veggies but Cumberland sausages will be available to one and all if they want them. And Veggiewitch, please DO NOT READ THE P.S. AT THE END OF THIS REPLY.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Hello Mr. Veggiewizard. Would you like a Cumberland sausage? I know you want one really – don’t worry, I won’t tell the missus.
Veggiewitch
/ April 9, 2012Dearest Dotty,
Thank you so much for your kindness and hospitality.
My youngest would very likely have loads of trouble declining
a Cumberland sausage sandwich, but she is too young for a blog just yet.
Much love,
Veggiewitch ♥
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear veggiewitch,
When she’s ready, I’ll be here. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Veggiewitch
/ April 9, 2012♥
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 9, 2012Dear veggiewitch and megawitch,
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
🙂 Thank you 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ April 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
Good deal you fuckin’ told Le Hijacking Clown,
Love xoxo
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 11, 2012Dear PAZ,
He’s a bozo.
Love Dotty xxx
tadams4u
/ April 10, 2012I didn’t know I would need some popcorn and a soda to pull up my chair and watch this fine drama unfold….. 😉
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 11, 2012Dear Brick,
It’s like WAR OF THE WORLDS isn’t it? I’m going to ANNIHILATE him.
Love Dotty xxx
chancedagger
/ April 10, 2012Imitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism, said Oscar Levant. You got it right, Dotty.
Dotty Headbanger
/ April 11, 2012Dear dags,
Thank you, I know I did. I’m glad you know it too. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
magicallymad
/ June 24, 2012Dear Dotty,
Oh dear, I thought there was some real thievery going on! Glad it’s just Le Clown.
Love,
Magic
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 24, 2012Dear magic,
Yes, it was clown.
Love Dotty xxx