This Post Is Not A Post, It’s A Competition Because I Have Another Thing To Write Today…


…but to keep you coming back to my blog so I still get loads of views,

and so I can get to 300 followers before La Popinjay does,

and so you don’t fuck off to some other blogger who talks to you more,

and so I can feel like I’m not ignoring you all (y’all) while I get on with ANOTHER THING

here’s a question —


What’s white and flies through the air faster than the speed of light?



There are two correct answers, either one of which I’ll accept.

If more than one of you get a correct answer I’ll do eeny-meeny-miney-mo to decide.

Or I might do ip-dip-dog-shit instead, it depends how I feel.

The winner will be my SUPREME PET FOR THE DAY tomorrow.


Here’s a picture to keep you entertained. I know everyone likes pictures and I know if I could put pictures in all my posts my views and my followers would be in the ZABILLIONS by now, but I can’t do it properly, it always goes wrong, I’ll NEVER be good with pictures and one day you’ll all go away to find blogs with pictures and this one of the SHOE-CAR has taken me over an hour of the time I was going to spend on ANOTHER THING so I hope you like it. 



This is a shoe but it's also a CAR!! Fucking amazing what they can do nowadays.
I want this SHOE-CAR. I want it.



Leave a comment


  1. Dear Dotty,

    I’m working on the riddle, but I love the shoe car — If you find out where to get one, please pass along the info. (In secret, if you’d like, or everyone will own a car that’s a shoe, and the car won’t be rare then!)



    • Dear Judith,
      I once had a friend who owned a big Jaffa orange promotion car but I’ve never seen a Shoe-Car. I’m going to hunt for one if takes me till the end of my days. 8-)
      Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,

        I will be your scout on this side of the ocean. I really want to find one of these! Makes me think of The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.



      • Dear Judith,

        I wonder if there’s a handbag to go with it? 8-)

        Love Dotty xxx

  2. Dear Dotty,

    It is a Cumberland sausage wrapped in butcher paper. Because clearly Cumberland sausages are capable of extraordinary things.

    OK, really, I don’t know, because according to conventional physics, nothing can go faster than the speed of light. So a Cumberland sausage seemed just as plausable as anything else. And the butcher paper would make it appear white.



    • Dear DeeDee,
      Thank you for your thoughtful answer. It’s a good one but I can’t tell you whether it’s a CORRECT one or not until whenever I decide to give the answers. :-)
      Love Dotty xxx

  3. Dear Dotty,

    After much discussion with Tookes over at… I thought it be fair to share the thought process of two different time zones (I’m up late, he is up with fresh coffee)…

    [8:40:16 PM] John: What’s white and flies through the air faster than the speed of light?
    [8:40:20 PM] John: Serious question
    [8:40:24 PM] John: I don’t know the answer of
    [8:40:29 PM] John: well
    [8:40:33 PM] John: riddle…
    [8:41:18 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: brb
    [8:41:43 PM] John: kk
    [8:53:38 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: Pennsylvania ZPI hands John a coffee
    [8:53:53 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: riddle… hrmm.
    [8:54:18 PM] John: Neutrinos are.. but don’t know if it’s white… or if they are looking for a real answer or a riddles answer
    [8:54:55 PM] John: Overall meaning lightning
    [8:55:37 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: lightning isn’t faster than light.
    [8:56:43 PM] John: but the initial spark has to be….
    [8:57:47 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: lighting travels at 224,000 mph
    [8:57:54 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: according to the google
    [8:58:07 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: light speed is 670,000,000 mph
    [8:59:22 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: what is the question from? I could find no riddle along those lines.
    [9:00:03 PM] John: lol
    [9:00:13 PM] John:
    [9:02:55 PM] John: she’s a self appointed mental online (and loving it), quite a darl to talk to otherwise
    [9:07:33 PM] John: warpdrive and hyperspace?
    [9:07:59 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: neither are real though :
    [9:08:28 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: and warp drive doesn’t move faster than light, it ‘warps’ time-space.
    [9:09:28 PM] John: okay so our mind is faster than light… does electricity travel faster?
    [9:10:28 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: Nothing can move faster than light.
    [9:10:41 PM] John: [8:54 PM] John:

    <<< Neutrinos
    [9:11:04 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: A tachyon is a hypothetical particle that always moves faster than light, but tachyons have never been measured, observed, or calculated, only postulated
    [9:11:32 PM] John: damn electricity doesn't travel
    [9:11:37 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: neutrinos are not ftl, the scientist who said he observed it quit CERN
    [9:11:57 PM] John: it was confirmed by another group of scientists….
    [9:12:08 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: My answer would be "A piece of paper at the event horizon of a black hole"
    [9:12:36 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: or something white at the event horizon
    [9:12:40 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: it's right enough.
    [9:12:56 PM] John: A white object at the event horizon huh?
    [9:13:20 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: You can make it something funny
    [9:13:43 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: "an albino sloth at the event horizon of a black hole"
    [9:13:52 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: or.. you could go completely hypothetical..
    [9:14:14 PM | Edited 9:15:11 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: "Jean Luc Picard's underwear at warp 9.9"
    [9:15:39 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI: btw: RE Neutrinos
    [9:15:40 PM] Pennsylvania ZPI:
    [9:16:32 PM] John: Fuckers, I need to read the news more often than every 3 months

    So I'm going with Picards Undewear!!

    • Dear John,
      :-) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA :-)

      Brilliant, I laughed my socks off, I’m still grinning.

      Love Dotty xxx

      • <– PennsylvaniaZPI from John's chat log. I'm looking forward to the "real" answer, although you can't deny that Picard's Underwear might be a 3rd possible answer.

      • Dear Victor,

        I’m denying nothing. It might be the winning answer, it might be the only possible answer if the laws of Sod are taken into account. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

    • Since John took my funny answer and I was unaware of the “One contest entry per comment” rule, I’m officially answering.
      I’ll go with an albino tree sloth at the event horizon of a black hole

  4. clownonfire

     /  April 11, 2012

    I can’t compete against John The Aussie’s answer.
    As far as the competition goes, I’m in. But I will make sure I only get loyal readers, and not just anyone who might leave after realizing how obsess I am with you.
    Le #1 Fan Clown

    • Dear La Poopinjay,

      There’s no competition between you and I, I was just stating a fact. The competition is the question which no one but DeeDee and John have given an answer to.

      Love Dotty xxx

  5. Dorothy

     /  April 11, 2012

    well, John the Aussie…beat me to it…..can’t get any better than that can you!!

    • Dear Dorothy,

      John’s answer might be wrong. It might be right, but it might be wrong. Have a bash at it, you might win.

      Love Dotty xxx

      • Dorothy

         /  April 12, 2012

        Dear Dotty,
        Well, he had it right with neutrino too but right now the only thing I can think of that’s white was my previous comment that just disappeared from WP and sped of faster than light to wherever the comment graveyard is. Stupid Word press…..take my words that take forever to formulate and just steal them and *poof* they’re gone.
        I am unable to recreate my previous comment because my brain does not remember beyond the moment it formulates a word. Gets me into a lot of trouble if I don’t copy and paste.
        I will say neutrino because I love you and don’t want you to think I would kick you in the shins.

      • Dear Dorothy,

        Excuses, excuses, excuses. But at least you’ve given an answer, even if you did steal it from someone else.

        Love Dotty xxx

  6. Dear Dotty,
    First of all, I’m disapointed that you are so eager to collect followers as though we were frozen Cumberland sausages or something. Second, I have no idea why a raven is like a writing desk. And altough the shoe car is wonderful, wouldn’t you rather drive around in a hot dog?
    With affectation,

    • Dear dags,

      Don’t you know ANYTHING about me yet? I’m a COLLECTOR, I COLLECT things – why wouldn’t I collect Followers?

      I like the hotdog, but I like the Shoe-Car a million times more.

      Love Dotty xxx

  7. The answer is obvious… Me
    I fly through the air faster than light, and I am white, so there you go. Now get me my saucer of milk and rub my tummy…

    • Dear pmao,

      OH NO.
      OH NO.
      OH NO.
      OH NO.
      OH NO.



      Love Dotty xxx

      • Who the heck is that… do I have to google him, or will you just tell me?

      • Dear pmao,

        Ask google for George Galloway and Rula Lenska and go and look at the Youtube thing.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • I can’t look at Youtube. My computer wants to die when I do.

      • Dear pmao,

        He’s a politician. A joke. Imagine Dick dressed in his dressing gown and imitating a CAT and pretending to lap milk out of a woman’s hands in the BIG BROTHER HOUSE. Galloway did that. It was more horrible than your rat picture. AND HE’S JUST BEEN VOTED IN AGAIN. Fuckwits.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • That is why, as your newly appointed leader of all the universes, I will no longer be allowing politicians to run for office.

      • Dear pmao,
        Love Dotty xxx

  8. Dear Dotty,

    Might shake things up if we had more politicians like that in Puritania.


  9. A demonic Ku Klux Klanner on his way to a cross burning.

  10. Subatomic ghosts.

  11. At first I thought, ‘Gee, I used to know the answer to this.’ But then I remembered — the answer is Rula Lenska!

  12. A well thrown Easter Egg?

    • Dear 1point,

      Thank you. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      • I know it’s a weak guess, so I added two more equally weak guesses in hopes of earning points for effort. Once people start making Star Trek or Star Wars references, I usually check myself into another clinic.

      • Dear 1point,
        I wouldn’t know a Star Trek or Star Wars reference if it hit me in the R2D2.
        Love Dotty xxx

  13. My sense of humor?

  14. Last try – Super-turbo white light?

  15. a little white lie.

  16. Dear Dotty,
    What’s white and flies through the air faster than the speed of light? Le Clown in his clown make up after you’ve fired out of your lovely cannon.
    Love HS xx

  17. Le Clown’s Ego. Nothing whiter or faster out there.

  18. Dear Dotty,
    How about the BERSERKERS projectile vomit?

    -the howler and me

  19. Hmm, one hint, was it in Something About Mary’s Hair? LOLLLLL

  20. Answer: The maggots I swatted off the Cumberland sausage I waited too long to eat.


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