Dotty Headbanger
has three hundred followers.
Can you believe it?
Actually, wait -
I have three hundred and one -
I’M FUCKING GOBSMACKED!!!
A Zen Dotty Haik-Sen-Blogu
Posted in Fake Non Fiction
Tagged blog, blogging, British, Comedy, Depression, Dotty Headbanger, funny, haiku, humor, humour, I AM MENTAL, Insanity, Life, love, mental health, misc, News, Random, satire, senryu, social anxiety, spirituality, thoughts, writing, zen
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on May 5, 2012
http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/a-zen-dotty-haik-sen-blogu/
Previous Post
Dotty Film Review – Coraline
Dotty Film Review – Coraline
Dotty’s New Blog
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
THE BIG BLOG COLLECTION
MY NEW BLOG. GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
Search For Shite On Dotty’s Blog
ALL THE SHITEY SUNDAYS
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Sister Agony Auntie Dotty’s Problem Page
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
I LIKE THIS PICTURE
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
SWEAR SWEAR SWEAR AT JEMIMA
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
FOR AMERICANS ONLY
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
Cumberland Sausage Count
- 50,886 so far today - yum yum!
Dotty Headbanger’s Shitey Family – The Whole Sorry Story
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
A Very Nice Picture Of Kumblant
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
Dotty’s Doo Wop Collection
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
Mucky Ducky & Fucky Ducky – Poetry in motion
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
Press Enquiries
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I don't do television or face-to-face interviews. I might do pre-booked telephone interviews but only if you can pay me in the Queen's precious coin. No Euros, no Dollars, and definitely no plastic cards with spying-for-the-government computer chips in them.
All enquiries to:
dottyheadbanger AT gmail.comPaparazzi - Don't camp outside my house again or I'll set my 12 Rottweilers on you. Dotty's Rotty's will EAT YOUR FACE.
DOTTY’S PET BLOGS
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
DOTTY FILM REVIEWS
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
Taggywags
art beauty blog blogging bloody rubbish British Comedy crapcrapcrap Cumberland sausages Depression doobydoobydoo Dotty Headbanger emily bronte fake non fiction family fiction food funny humor humour I am a nutty nutter I AM MENTAL Insanity Life Mad Shit mental mental health misc News personal pictures pile of shite poems Poetry psychiatry psychology Random religion satire social anxiety stories thoughts why bother? words writingTHE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
THE BRICK & SAUSAGE AWARD
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
A Dotty Award
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
THE BEST EVER BLOGGING AWARD WITH BINS IN THE PICTURE
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
DOTTY’S COLLECTED COUNTRIES
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Creepy & Freaky But True
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
FED UP OF FACEBOOK?
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
Dotty’s Notes
- * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
- ALL DOTTY’S COLLECTIONS IN ONE HANDY LIST
- DOTTY’S HINTS & TIPS FOR HERMITS
- Sister Agony Auntie Dotty’s Problem Page
- DOTTY REVIEWS
- Dotty’s Shitey Family – The Whole Sorry Story
- DOTTY’S PET BLOGS
- DOTTY THE AWARD SLUT – AWARD COLLECTION
- VERSIONS OF MY AWARD
- BORING SHITEY POEMS
- SHITEY SHORT STORIES
- Very Sad Journal Of Very Sad Pygmy Were-Zompire
- DOTTY’S DOO-WOP COLLECTION
- ALL THE SHITEY SUNDAYS
DOTTY PAVAROTTI, THE SINGING FISH
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
Dotty's Good Sites
- A Telly Guide I Use When I Need To Know What's On
- CIA – Ha ha ha! They Need To Learn To Spell If They Want To Be The CENTRE Of Intelligence.
- Dibble – For When They Say They're Fed Up With My Questions
- Euromillions Results So I Can Quickly Check My Ticket
- FBI – If America Needs My Help Finding Their Serial Killers I'm Only One Click Away
- MI5 – So I Can Keep An Eye On The UK Threat Level
- NASA – So I Can Keep A Watch On What They're Up To In Space
- Pondlife – The Adventures Of A Large Herd Of Single-Celled Amoebas
- RAF – They Patrol The Dangerous Skies Above My House
- Stephen Hawking Tells Me Some Of The Things I Need To Know About The Universe
- This is Asda Where I Buy My Cumberland Sausages And Other Shopping
- White, Pink, Brown Noise
KILL ME NOW, I’M AN AWARD SLUT
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
ANYONE WANT TO ARGUE?
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
Really Shitey Shite
It’s All Old Shite
- October 2012 (3)
- September 2012 (14)
- August 2012 (27)
- July 2012 (34)
- June 2012 (36)
- May 2012 (36)
- April 2012 (38)
- March 2012 (43)
- February 2012 (47)
- January 2012 (27)
- December 2011 (6)
Dotty’s Filing Cabinet
Cumberland Sausages I Love You
EAT ME, EAT ME!
Darren
/ May 5, 2012That calls for a Cumberland sausage or two…
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 5, 2012Dear Darren,
I could eat twenty
fat Cumberland sausages
and never be sick.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ May 5, 2012Yahoooooooooo, on to 400 now!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 5, 2012Dear Brick,
Giddy-up!! Yeeehhaaaaa!!
Love Dotty xxx
thewhitetrashgourmet
/ May 5, 2012Miss Dotty – and you will only grow and grow your followers. You are quite amusing and a good pick me up for when I’m feeling foul.
Love,
TWTG
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 5, 2012Dear twtg,
Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ May 5, 2012Dear Dotty,
I am an apprentice when compared to you — FANTASTIC!!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 5, 2012Dear Judith,
No you’re not an apprentice, you have a natural talent. Know it and believe it.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ May 6, 2012Dear Dotty,
Thank you, my friend!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 6, 2012Dear Judith,
It’s true. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.
Love Dotty xxx
Sword-chinned bitch
/ May 6, 2012Congratulations! I’m indeed a Dottyite!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 6, 2012Dear Swordy,
Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
rich
/ May 6, 2012i’m approaching 200. didn’t have my first until this past january. watch yourself, young lady.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 6, 2012Dear rich,
It took me ages to get to 100 but then it went …zoom…
Love Dotty xxx
kristaskrede
/ May 6, 2012Good work sister.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 6, 2012Dear krista,
Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ May 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
FARK YEAH! I hope you know I’ve been promoting you too. Let’s not get you big headed though. Wouldn’t want that for my dear Dotty.
Love xoxoxxx
p.s. I’m about to have a hundred myself. So how that for big headed!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 7, 2012Dear PAZ,
Thank you very much. And congratulations on your 100.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. I think WordPress have stopped giving out the little badges, I didn’t get one this time.
KC
/ May 8, 2012Yay again! You so deserve every ridiculously mental wrong-sausage-eating nutcase on that list! Myself included, of course. Although -nobody- deserves me…trust me on that one. -I- don’t deserve me…but I’m kinda attached to me…been with myself since birth, y’know. Love ya, even if you are a silly brit with silly soaps…
(Cause ours are -totally- better…I can go away from one for 15 yrs. (Really, true story!) and come back and watch it…and catch up in minutes! >;< )
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 8, 2012Dear KC,
Our soaps are the best in the world.
Love Dotty xxx
KC
/ May 8, 2012Hrrmmm…I dunno about that…awesomeness personified, yes…but even though I can’t understand a freakin’word, those Mexican/Hispanic channel soaps look like -lots- of fun. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one where people were speaking in anything approaching a normal tone of voice, or not getting, as the saying goes, all up in each others faces. And then there’s Japan. I mean seriously. Seriously? Totally whiskey-tango-foxtrot there…and I say it as one of the biggest japanophiles I know. Seriously, Japan? Do what to who in whose backyard and call it bob? *blinks* Also, in case it’s not obvious I’m putting off going to the stupid doc (see my latest whine…ahem…post) for as long as possible, trying to…well, not go. As such. *whines* I don’wanna!!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 8, 2012Dear KC,
The only foreign ones I’ve ever seen are Australian (Neighbours, Home and Away, Sons And Daughters – which I loved).
GO TO THE DOCTOR. Go on, get ready and GO.
Love Dotty xxx
KC
/ May 8, 2012*pouts* Fine..I’ll go…but you better be there in my imaginary headspace to pull my hair and distract me while they stick that damn pointy thing in my arm again. *sniffles*
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 8, 2012Dear KC,
Good. Yes I will, but I hope they don’t have to do all those horrible things.
Love Dotty xxx