Up your arse stick your flowery words
and thorny red roses
in a bunch, up your bum.
I’m no longer your wife, your wench,
your skivvy, your drudge;
twenty three years thrown aside,
cast away – for what?
Some dirty young slut.
Your ego, your death-fear,
it’s all about you
YOU YOU YOU
you middle-aged twat;
mourning the grey, the droop, the sag,
and those fucking great bags round your eyes –
they cannot lie.
Plead a little more, bastard.
Listening? Me? Not a chance,
not a hope in the belly of Hell.
Crawl, you creep,
beg, whimper, whine,
weep me your vows, your promises -
I’ve heard it all before, remember.
Why are you here again,
howling your sorrys?
Didn’t you hear me the first fifteen times?
Get it through your head -
you left me, you lost me,
you shagged us stone dead.
Now – now I am ME, free,
I’ll do as I please,
stay in, stay out, shag about if I choose.
AHA! That look on your face!
I see it, I do!
Ownership.
Jealousy wants me under you, (lying bored),
but acting isn’t my job any more.
Leave me alone, now.
Fuck off.
Go away and rot.
Stick up your arse all your lies and deceits,
up up up
right the way up through your shrivelled old colon,
all the way up through your gutless old guts,
up up up
till they choke you, you cheat -
as one day they assuredly must.
misfits' miscellany
/ May 9, 2012Do you do children’s parties?
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 9, 2012Dear misfit,
No.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 9, 2012That’s OK, I’ll see if Tim Burton’s available.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
He’ll be too busy crying over his shitey Coraline film.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 10, 2012If he didn’t slit his wrists over Planet of the Apes…he’ll be with us for a long time.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
I like his weirdy wife, Helena Bonham Burton.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 10, 2012Yea, she’s proved more talented than the ingenue of the Merchant/Ivory days. Would you be interested in reading a weirdy fable of mine? Not sure but it might be your sorta thing?
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
Yep, I like weirdy fables. Is it on your blog?
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 10, 2012Not on my blog, it’s being considered (ah-hem) for publication at the moment, so I can’t send it anywhere else…and it’ll probably be rejected. I’ll have to mail it.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
It’s gmail, dottyheadbanger.
What do you mean by ‘reading?’ A full crit, some general comments, or just a read?
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 10, 2012I don’t want any crit…I just thought you might actually like it, but don’t feel obliged. You seem to read a lot and, believe it or not, I actually write for a living. Not this sorta stuff, commercial crap, but…
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
Sorry, it’s just I get a few people asking via email and I never know what they’re looking for in the way of feedback, some people want the full works which I don’t do any more but they seem to expect it so now I clarify from the get-go.
Yes, I’d love to read it. Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 10, 2012Wise, of course, and wise. It’s sent, I’m to be bed with Art Spiegelman. That’s how drunk I am.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
Got it. I’m off to bed too, I didn’t realise it’s so late. I’ll have to read it tomorrow.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 10, 2012And I like Burton, too, by the way. He’s made some good shit. Ed Wood? And the Edward Scissorhands fable…
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
I do too, I’ve got most of his films but I HATE Coraline.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ May 10, 2012Ain’t seen it…
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear misfit,
Don’t bother.
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ May 10, 2012hahahahhahahahaa!!!!! So awesome.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Lisa,
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
Every day, at least one of my sentences starts like this…”OMG. Dotty wrote……” followed by my really annoying loud laughter that gets me thrown out of movie theatres.
Love, Lis
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Lisa,
HA HA HA HA Thank you.
Every day, at least one of my sentences starts like this… ‘Fucking hell, what am I going to write today?’
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ May 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
I love your unadulterated use of profanity. Perhaps if I used it in my poetry as much as I did in my debating skills I might have become something other than a nut job….oh well. Off to find my soap box.
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 9, 2012Dear Dorothy,
Swear, swear, swear, like Jemima.
Love Dotty xxx
therabbitholez
/ May 9, 2012Very powerful…I like it
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear trh,
Cheers, m’dear.
Love Dotty xxx
the howler and me
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
LOVE IT!!!
Love,
-the howler and me
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear the howler and me,
Thank you.
Love Dotty xx
magicallymad
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
You’re magic.
Love, Magic
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Magic,
No, you’re Magic.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
I was wondering if you give lessons; I know some idiots to whom I’d like to give this message! Some of your very best literary work, my dear!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Judith,
Thank you, just call me Dotty Plath.
I haven’t given anyone lessons, but for you, yes.
Love Dotty xxx
chancedagger
/ May 10, 2012Reading this is like floating in a little row boat next to a battleship just as it fires a full broadside or watching Mount St. Helen’s blow its stack. Force of nature, you are.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dags,
You know me so well. One of my favourite sayings is ‘I’ll blow you out of the water.’
Love Dotty xxx
free penny press
/ May 10, 2012The lady has spoken.. now step away Mister-Man
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear fpp,
Love Dotty xxx
Madame Weebles
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
I wish I had written something like this to an ex of mine. Good stuff. It speaks to me.
xoxo Mme Weebles
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Mme Weebles,
Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
1pointperspective
/ May 10, 2012That was deep. I felt like you were talking right to me, only from another continent, so I’m not as afraid as I would be if you were on this side of the pond
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear 1point,
I’m not scary, I’m just little old Dotty. I wouldn’t hurt a flea.
Love Dotty xxx
thewhitetrashgourmet
/ May 10, 2012Oh Miss Dotty, That was something special. You have my undying love and I’ll never shag around on you.
xoxo
TWTG
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear twtg,
Thank you – and I’ll never tell you to stick your flowers up your arse.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 10, 2012When you let loose, you really let lose. I hop you feel better now. Maybe my joke will help cheer you up.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear pmao,
I haven’t been to any blogs today yet but I’ll be there soon.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 10, 2012My story has English seafaring men and everything. And no ninjas.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear pmao,
I’m trying to sort out the comment thing – it was when I posted on your blog I found it’s all ballsed up and it turned me into AMY.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 10, 2012I thought I had a new friend. But I like you better anyway. That Amy was shallow and rather dull. Now read the black flag post… please… with sugar and sausages on top.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear pmao,
I’ll be there in two ticks. Just looking at my settings.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 10, 2012okey dokey
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ May 10, 2012You told him! Awesome! Loved it
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Brick,
Thank you. They all need telling.
Love Dotty xxx
Grumpy
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
Cathartic. Hope he felt every sling and arrow.
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Grumpy,
Love Dotty xxx
habibadanyal
/ May 10, 2012Dear Dotty!
Love,
Habiba.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Habiba,
Love Dotty xxx
Victor Tookes
/ May 10, 2012This might be the greatest f-u poem I’ve ever read.
Victor Tookes
/ May 10, 2012Reblogged this on Writing, Reading, Working, Living and commented:
Perhaps the greatest f.u. poem I’ve ever read. I love it, Thanks Dotty!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Victor,
Thank YOU. And thank you for doing the reblog thingy.
Love Dotty xxx
Martin Shone
/ May 10, 2012So that’s where ear wax comes from and why it tastes of shit
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Martin,
Your culinary habits are DISGUSTING.
Love Dotty xxx
Martin Shone
/ May 10, 2012well, when you’re hungry…
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Martin,
That’s why Freegans were invented. Better the bin at the back of Tesco than the contents of your own body.
Love Dotty xxx
Martin Shone
/ May 10, 2012ha ha, yes indeed!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 10, 2012Dear Martin,
Love Dotty xxx
babedarla
/ May 14, 2012wow…I thought I was off poetry at my almost advanced age…but apparently not if it’s written by one Dotty Headbanger!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 14, 2012Dear babedarla,
Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ May 14, 2012♥