Dotty Has Written A Song – It’s Called ‘The Fucking Fiddly Folk Song’

 

I’ve written a folk song this morning, just the words, you’ll have to make up the tune as you go along.

 

The Fucking Fiddly Folk Song

 

Chorus

With a hey-ho, fiddly fuck,

Bales of straw and a cripply duck,

Cider and blackbirds and bells on my knees,

The sun in the morning, the wind through the trees.

 

Verse 1

My farmboy is fit and he loves me,

And I love him, I love him.

He’s fit and he’s strong, he can carry a horse,

In one arm and a pig in the other.

Next year we shall wed and lie in a bed,

Until that day-o,

fuckitty day-o,

We lie in the birdshit up high in the loft,

Fiddling tunes in the hay-o.

 

Chorus

With a hey-ho, fiddly fuck,

Bales of straw and a cripply duck

Cider and blackbirds and bells on my knees,

The sun in the morning, the wind through the trees.

 

Verse 2

Skip to the loo, what the fuck shall I do?

I met a wild rover with curly black hair,

His eyes are like marbles, 

They shine and they roll,

And when I’ve had my beer-o,

His voice is like silk in my ear-hole,

Ear-hole, ear-hole,

And when he fiddles, o fiddly-fuck,

his pecs are to die for.

I love him, I love him,

I love him-o.

 

Chorus

With a hey-ho, fiddly fuck,

Bales of straw and a cripply duck,

Cider and blackbirds and bells on my knees,

The sun in the morning, the wind through the trees.

 

Verse 3

My two fit men, one here, one there,

I’m just a young milkmaid, I’m lovely,

I’m plump like a hen, I’m soft like a sheep,

O who shall I choose, O who shall I keep?

Fuck it, why should I have to choose?

Why-o?

I’ll keep them both-o,

my farmboy, my rover,

o fiddly-fuck,

in the hay and the muck,

both-o, both-o,

I love them both-o.

 

Chorus

With a hey-ho, fiddly fuck,

Bales of straw and a cripply duck,

Cider and blackbirds and bells on my knees,

The sun in the morning, the wind through the trees.

 

Repeat Chorus

 

 

Leave a comment

68 Comments

  1. unfetteredbs

     /  June 7, 2012

    Dear Dotty-
    What a delightful plump hen you are… o fiddly fuck is going to be in my head. Thank you very much for this fucking aweswome tune.

    Reply
  2. Dear Dotty,

    These lyrics speak to me. You could sing this as a Gregorian chant and it would still kick ass.

    xoxo Mme Weebles

    Reply
  3. Ah, lofty country pleasures.

    Reply
  4. Dear Dotty,
    LOVE IT!!!!
    Love,
    -the howler and me

    Reply
  5. I don’t need to tell you this is brilliant — because it totally fiddly-fucking IS! Thanks Dotty!
    SCB

    Reply
  6. Dear Dotty,

    I really do love your little ditty, dotty, but I think it’s my duty to say
    I think that you’re nutty. Some may call you slutty, to love your two men in this way.
    Though I think it’s nifty, but I’m only fifty-ish, so I don’t claim to be wise.
    Just be careful and hide-y those men at your side-y. Tell Lottie and Scottie, “Surprise!”

    Reply
  7. kzackuslheureux

     /  June 7, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    Sound’s like some fun.
    Love, Alphabet

    Reply
  8. Is this song about a crippled duck?

    Reply
  9. Magic!
    Suggested alternative lines for the chorus:
    Cider and blackbirds and a dog full of fleas ,
    The sun in the morning, the wind through my knees.

    Reply
    • Dear Dags,

      After I’d posted it I thought of a line about picking maggoty Crabs from the trees but it was too late.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  10. Like a very cynical XTC of “Skylarking” days. I hope you’ve copyrighted this, because I’m writing the music as we speak.

    Reply
  11. i think the tune should go something like this – tiddle-um-dum tiddle-um-dum-dee tiddle-um-dum-dum tiddle-ee-dum-dee tiddle-um-bum tiddle-um-bum-bee tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-um-bum-dee, tiddle-um-tum tiddle-um-tum-tee tiddle-iddle-um-tum-bum-dum-wee tiddle-iddle-oo-dar dee-dar-doo tiddle-iddle-um-bum-doo-dar-dee, tum-tum-diddle-um bim-bum-boo fiddle-iddle-tiddle-widdle-fim-fum-foo piddle-iddle-tiddle-widdle-fiddle-middle-griddle diddle-niddle-biddle-yiddle-jiddle-siddle-riddle hiddle-liddle-ziddle-giddle-quiddle-viddle-dee (repeat as necessary)

    Reply
  12. Dear Dotty,
    The best piece of poetry I’ve read in ages! And the depth and rhythm, Good Lord! :-D
    Love,
    Habiba.

    Reply
  13. Dear Dotty,

    This is my favorite song…that is all.

    Repeating chorus,
    Angel

    Reply
  14. I was literally LOLing with this! So awesome, Dotty! You are awesome and your blog is so much fun to read! :D

    Reply
  15. Dear Dotty,

    This was astounding. Please treat more genres with the contempt they deserve.

    Reply

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