O Sausage of Cumberland,
Thou art beauty in pork,
thy fizzle, sizzle on my grill
when I prick thee
with my fork.
O how I love thee,
thy juicy, meaty blob;
thine chewy lumps taste heavenly
when I shove thee
in my gob.
If I were handed
the golden sun above,
I would decline, O Sausage of Cumberland,
and ask for thee,
my one and only love.
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on June 9, 2012
http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/a-dotty-ode-to-love/
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I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
EAT ME, EAT ME!
misfits' miscellany
/ June 9, 2012Is that all you eat?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 9, 2012Dear Misfit,
What else WOULD I eat?
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Actually, I eat McCain’s Chippy Chips and Hobnobs too, so my diet is varied and full of healthy goodness.
misfits' miscellany
/ June 9, 2012Glad to hear it. You are the veritable picture of health.
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 9, 2012Dear Misfit,
Yes, I am.
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ June 9, 2012I’ve nominated you for the Sisterhood of the World Blogger’s Award. http://rosewinelover.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/sisterhood-of-world-bloggers-award.png?w=640
Enjoy your Cumberland sausages. Have a brick
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 9, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
gingerfightback
/ June 9, 2012A beef sausage man meself.
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 9, 2012Dear ginger,
I like beef sausages too but they’re no competition for Cumberland sausages.
Love Dotty xxx
gingerfightback
/ June 9, 2012I bow to your knowledge Dotty. Any pie types you can recommend? Just thought I would ask on the off chance!
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear Ginger,
Whatever you do, don’t eat wabbit pie. I like Bambi pie, it’s lovely.
Love Dotty xxx
gingerfightback
/ June 10, 2012Cheers – just eaten a Pork Pie that was on offer – Yuk.
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear ginger,
You should never eat pork pies or chicken products that are on offer. Or fresh cream cakes. Anything else is okay, but not them, they’ll rot your guts.
Love Dotty xxx
gingerfightback
/ June 10, 2012Thanks Dotty!
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 11, 2012Dear Ginger,
You’re very welcome.
Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ June 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
You made me want to eat Cumberland sausage.
You’re gifted.
Le Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear clown,
Yes. You should eat some.
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ June 9, 2012Dearest Dotty,
I think Mr. Freud would have something to say about your love of the sausage.
Also…I would wager my big toe that ylour blood type is O.
Am I right?
The sausage reveals much*
Love Lis
Xoxo
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear Lisa,
Mr Freud knows nothing.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ June 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
an absolutely wonderful and visual verse….makes me hungry….yum yum
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear Dorothy,
Have some Cumberland sausages.
Love Dotty xxx
bpshielsy
/ June 9, 2012I know you won’t accept it but I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Award – http://thebipolarplace1.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/sunshine-award/
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear shielsy,
Thank you very much.
Love Dotty xxx
Kathy V.
/ June 9, 2012That was beautiful. I have tears in my eyes from all the beauty. And from being hungry for sausages.
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear Kathy,
No, you’re not allowed to eat sausages until Sausage is old enough to defend himself in case of mix ups.
Love Dotty xxx
Kathy V.
/ June 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
That is completely unfair. I can always tell Sausage apart from sausages that are for eating. I almost never dress eating sausages up in little outfits that are covered in duckies, and also, Sausage screams when I bite him, and eating sausages do not.
Love,
Kathy
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear Kathy,
That’s all right then. But you shouldn’t dress your eating sausages up at all, it demeans them – sausages have feelings too.
Love Dotty xxx
unfetteredbs
/ June 9, 2012once again you have made me chuckle..and once again I thank you…
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear bs,
You’re welcome.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ June 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
Great post, really nice poem, even if it is poking a little fun!
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear Judith,
I’m not poking fun!! I love my Cumberland sausages. When I loved my Prozac I wrote an Ode To Prozac too.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ June 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
I humbly stand corrected. I spoke off the cuff, and I’m sorry. I would love to read your ode to Prozac — I’ve been on it for twenty-one years. Good poem — sorry I didn’t take it seriously enough!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear Judith,
The Prozac ode is a bit outdated (it’s in the shitey poetry bit), replaced by Mirtazapine but I don’t love that enough to do an ode to it.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 11, 2012and a spiffing ode it is too
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 11, 2012Dear sacha,
Oh, ya, thanks, chummy.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 13, 2012you’re like, so welcome and that
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 14, 2012Dear sacha,
Yah yah yah yah oink.
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ June 10, 2012:Shove thee in my gob”—now THAT had to be a difficult rhyme to think of…but then, I don’t know what a gob is, even…do I want to?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 10, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
Your gob is your mouth.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ June 12, 2012For schnizzle with the sizzle.
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 12, 2012Dear pmao,
Oh yeah!
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ June 12, 2012Ha!
L2
/ July 11, 2012Nice. I’ll have eggs with mine, please.
Over medium.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 11, 2012Dear L2,
Coming up.
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 14, 2012Dear Dotty, It’s first thing in the morning, I haven’t even had a coffee yet – normally before coffee, I’m the world’s grumpiest parasol prodder. Your sausage piece had me laughing out loud. Long may you shine. Love Loony. xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 15, 2012Dear loony,
Thank you. I don’t know how you can do ANYTHING before that first cup of coffee. I can’t even GRUNT before my first.
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 15, 2012Dear Dotty, I am usually the same except when reading your poems. Love Loony. xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 15, 2012Dear loony,
You’re too kind.
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 16, 2012Dear Dotty
Your poems make me kind.
Love Loony. xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 16, 2012Dear loony,
Oh dear. They’ve never been known to inspire kindness – I thought you were a naturally kind parasol wielder being naturally kind to me. I’ll have to have a little think about this.
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 16, 2012Dear Dotty, I’m kind when I enjoy writing and I’m enjoying your poems. They take the edge off me wanting to prod someone with my parasol. Love Loony. xxx. p.s. I don’t like Monday mornings so I’ll be back for some of your poetic medicine to stop me taking my grumpiness out on someone with my brolly.
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 18, 2012Dear loony,
Don’t stop yourself – prod whoever you want to. Suppression of a psychological need is bad for the psyche.
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 18, 2012Dear Dotty
I had better get prodding then. Love Loony. xxx