I haven’t been on the laptop to do today’s post until now because after my breakfast I COULDN’T FUCKING MOVE because of all the food I had to eat. And I COULDN’T FUCKING MOVE last night either to do the comments – that’s two nights in a row I haven’t answered comments because of THESE STUPID FUCKING DIETS. And I’ve put on FOUR POUNDS in a day and a half. And I can’t afford all the food for the twelve diets I was on – THEY’RE A FUCKING RIP-OFF - so I’m going back to eating what I normally eat, I’ll just cut it in half. But not today, today I’m not eating ANYTHING ELSE.
John Phillips
/ June 16, 2012Love it, to funny
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 16, 2012Dear John,
It doesn’t feel funny. It feels very uncomfortable.
Love Dotty xxx
Grumpy
/ June 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
You are a glutton … for punishment! Diets are a waste of time and effort. Just simply cut down on the quantity of the shite you like. Mind you, I like a fat arse
My electric fan oven died 30 minutes before my guests arrived on Thursday evening. My gourmet dinner was fucked. Luckily, the CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES I had in the fridge saved the day.
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 16, 2012Dear Grumpy,
What do you mean your gourmet dinner was fucked? You can’t get any more gourmet than CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES!!
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ June 16, 2012And another heroic dieter bites the dust–which may be the only thing we need-to-diet dieters should probably be eating;-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
Does dust come in Cumberland sausage flavour?
Love Dotty xxx
Grumpy
/ June 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
Yes, they were nice!
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Grumpy,
Good.
Love Dotty xxx
thelastsongiheard
/ June 16, 2012LOL I’ve lost weight… I’ve cut out soda, beer and have made better eating choices. I also go on the treadmill twice a week and sweat for thirty minutes. I was surprised that it didn’t require more work honestly… but I’ve already had to buy new clothes and am always pleased to see my waistline go down
Diets don’t work. Changing your lifestyle – and being happy with your choices – does
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear tlsih,
I agree, I was stupid to do my diets, I’m going to do healthy eating and half-sized portions from now on. I’ve been trying to find a way to cut my plates in half without them smashing. Would a tile-cutter work?
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ June 16, 2012How’s that working for you?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Robin,
Good, so far.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ June 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
Sounds to me like a terrific idea!
Love, Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Judith,
I hope it works.
Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ June 16, 2012Dotty,
Add a sprinkle of nitrates on your food and all will be well.
Le Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear clown,
Will it affect the laudanum?
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 17, 2012what on earth is a diet?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Sacha,
A stupid idea, that’s what it is.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 21, 2012then bin it immediately….if you haven’t already….
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 21, 2012Dear sacha,
I have.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 21, 2012phew; now you’ve room for all those other antics
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 22, 2012Dear Sacha,
What antics? I live a quiet, solitary life in my house. Nothing happens to me.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 23, 2012then there’s an imposter who’s been writing all sorts of weird and wonderful things about you!
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 23, 2012Dear sacha,
Oh dear. I’m scared now.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Go and look at my new blog – it’s for advertising your own blog.
sacha1nch1
/ June 24, 2012on my way
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 25, 2012Dear sacha,
Did you get lost? Have you been kidnapped? I’m not paying the ransom.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 27, 2012i went there, didn’t really know how to do whatever it was that you wanted me to do, and then i was away for two days….but i’m going to try really hard today
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 29, 2012Dear Sacha,
I’m going to do some posts at some point to make it clearer.
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ June 17, 2012Dear Dotty,
Dieting is indeed shite – there is really no such thing as dieting, more like healthy eating. So you won’t even have to give up your CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
I know!! Cumberland sausages are the healthiest of health foods. I’ll buy some wholemeal bread for my sandwiches.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ June 18, 2012Hey, you made it what? Four days? Celebrate with some ice cream! OO>>>
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 18, 2012Dear Brick,
I love you.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ June 18, 2012Now you have me blushing…..
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 20, 2012Dear Brick,
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ June 19, 2012Have you tried moderation? Or just 5 diets at a time? Or maybe tofu sausages?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 20, 2012Dear pmao,
Vegetarian shite can be fattier than proper fatty shite (not to say Cumberland sausages are fatty or shite).
Love Dotty xxx