Dieting Is Shite And I’m Not Doing It Any More And It Doesn’t Work Anyway

 

I haven’t been on the laptop to do today’s post until now because after my breakfast I COULDN’T FUCKING MOVE because of all the food I had to eat. And I COULDN’T FUCKING MOVE last night either to do the comments – that’s two nights in a row I haven’t answered comments because of THESE STUPID FUCKING DIETS. And I’ve put on FOUR POUNDS in a day and a half. And I can’t afford all the food for the twelve diets I was on – THEY’RE A FUCKING RIP-OFF – so I’m going back to eating what I normally eat, I’ll just cut it in half. But not today, today I’m not eating ANYTHING ELSE.

 

 

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36 Comments

  1. Love it, to funny

    Reply
  2. Dear Dotty,
    You are a glutton … for punishment! Diets are a waste of time and effort. Just simply cut down on the quantity of the shite you like. Mind you, I like a fat arse ;-)
    My electric fan oven died 30 minutes before my guests arrived on Thursday evening. My gourmet dinner was fucked. Luckily, the CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES I had in the fridge saved the day.
    Grumpy x

    Reply
    • Dear Grumpy,

      What do you mean your gourmet dinner was fucked? You can’t get any more gourmet than CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES!!

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  3. And another heroic dieter bites the dust–which may be the only thing we need-to-diet dieters should probably be eating;-)

    Reply
  4. Dear Dotty,
    Yes, they were nice! ;-)
    Grumpy x

    Reply
  5. LOL I’ve lost weight… I’ve cut out soda, beer and have made better eating choices. I also go on the treadmill twice a week and sweat for thirty minutes. I was surprised that it didn’t require more work honestly… but I’ve already had to buy new clothes and am always pleased to see my waistline go down :)

    Diets don’t work. Changing your lifestyle – and being happy with your choices – does :)

    Reply
    • Dear tlsih,

      I agree, I was stupid to do my diets, I’m going to do healthy eating and half-sized portions from now on. I’ve been trying to find a way to cut my plates in half without them smashing. Would a tile-cutter work?

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  6. How’s that working for you?

    Reply
  7. Dear Dotty,

    Sounds to me like a terrific idea!

    Love, Judith

    Reply
  8. clownonfire

     /  June 16, 2012

    Dotty,
    Add a sprinkle of nitrates on your food and all will be well.
    Le Clown

    Reply
  9. what on earth is a diet?

    Reply
  10. Dear Dotty,

    Dieting is indeed shite – there is really no such thing as dieting, more like healthy eating. So you won’t even have to give up your CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES :)

    Reply
    • Dear Missus Tribble,

      I know!! Cumberland sausages are the healthiest of health foods. I’ll buy some wholemeal bread for my sandwiches. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  11. Hey, you made it what? Four days? Celebrate with some ice cream! OO>>>

    Reply
  12. Have you tried moderation? Or just 5 diets at a time? Or maybe tofu sausages?

    Reply
    • Dear pmao,

      Vegetarian shite can be fattier than proper fatty shite (not to say Cumberland sausages are fatty or shite).

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply

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