DOTTYGEDDON

 

Today I am practising POSITIVITY and SELF-CONTROL.

I am controlling myself and I am being positive.

 

 

Yes.

 

I am.

 

 

I woke up in a bad mood, not a seething, sawing limbs off slowly bad mood (not my own limbs, some other fucker’s), a RAVING bad mood, a MURDEROUS bad mood, a DOTTYGEDDON bad mood.

 

BUT I have decided to fight it and instead of going off on one I will be a composed ME, a calm ME.

Today I will be THE MODEL OF SERENITY.

 

 

Yes.

 

 

I did a positive thought to negate some negative thoughts –

I CAN’T GO OUT, I HATE THIS FUCKING HERMITITIS, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT

but

at least I don’t have claustrophobia.

 

See, I can do it. I CAN get through this bad mood day without being arrested.

 

And I have a new trick to use when I am in session with my brick. I have a MANTRA to use and now I am going to use it –

 

My brick is my best friend.

My brick is my best friend.

My brick is my best friend.

My brick is my best friend.

My brick is my best friend.

Little Emily is not my best friend, she’s a FUCKING TRAITOROUS BITCH.

My brick is my best friend.

My brick is my best friend.

My brick is my best friend.

My brick is my best friend.

BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH I’M GOING TO RIP HER FUCKING HEAD OFF AND FEED IT TO THE HOUND OF THE FUCKING BASKERVILLES.

My brick is my best friend.

My brick

AND THAT SMELLY LITTLE FREAK KUMBLANT, I’LL KICK HIM ALL THE WAY BACK TO SMELLYVANIA OR WHERE EVER IT IS HE COMES FROM BUT FIRST I’LL STAKE THE BASTARD WITH HIS OWN STAKING STICK, I’LL RAM IT AND TWIST IT AND TWIST IT AND TWIST IT RIGHT THROUGH HIS STINKING ROTTEN HEART AND I’LL MAKE HIS FUCKING MOOR-WALKING GIRLFRIEND WATCH IT ALL AND I’LL

 

 

 

 

My br

 

 

 

*

 

 

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55 Comments

  1. Dear Dotty,
    Perhaps going back to bed and trying again would be better?
    Love,
    -the howler and me

    I only say this because bailing you out of jail would be a little hard from over here.

    Reply
    • Dear the howler and me,

      I’ve not been arrested yet. I made myself sit in my tumble dryer all day.

      Love Dotty xx

      Reply
      • Dear Dotty,
        Ah the tumble dryer… the safe haven for the mental :)

        I am glad the police didn’t need to show up and arrest you. Keep up the good work :)

        Love,
        -the howler and me

      • Dear the howler and me,

        I came out of the tumble dryer.

        Love Dotty xxx

  2. G’dat Dotty,

    How is brick today?

    John

    Reply
    • Dear John,

      A bit chipped, but okay, thank you for asking.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • G’day Dotty,

        Give brick a hug for me.

        John.

      • Dear John,

        I will when I’ve cleaned the blood off.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dotty,

        If the blood is wet, cold water and blotting with a sponge or cotton rag should suffice. If however the body needed to be disposed of before cleaning, mix a paste of bicarb soda with water and cover the area. Allow it to crust up and dry (also works well with bleach free powdered detergents). Once dried place Brick into a bucket of vinegar for 2 minutes, pull Brick out and proceed to clean with cold water and sponge.

        John.

        Ps if removal of DNA evidence is necessary; amonia will suffice, but discoloration may occur, which is probably a good thing because a change of identity for Brick is needed.

      • Dear John,

        Thank you. I’ve written this in my notebook for future reference.

        Love Dotty xxx

  3. I have claustrophilia.

    Reply
  4. I want an official Dotty Headbanger brick. Do you sell them?

    Reply
  5. I’d write a longer note, but i don’t want to piss you off

    Reply
  6. Dear Dotty,
    Steady on girl!
    Grumpy x

    Reply
  7. Dorothy

     /  June 18, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    Now I’m coming in on the middle of it here but you know I like a good ditty and this is from Dotty…….a Dotty Ditty. Sorry you’re in a bad mood today but I’m glad you are getting it out with your brick. Hermititis can be annoying. Especially when no one else understands you nor believes you. Have I told you I was also a hermit from the ages of 17 or so to 19? I suffered from severe agoraphobia and was even afraid to go to the mailbox two houses away. But I did have over 80 pen-pals, thank goodness. When you come back to consciousness say hi to your brick for me!
    Love Dorothy

    Reply
  8. Boy do I have days like this… Thanks for making sure I know I am not alone :)

    Reply
  9. Dear Dotty,
    I know the feeling. Why don’t you come swim with me? Bring the brick if you like! Yeah?! What do you say? It makes everything better for a minute, I swear. *kisses finger*

    Today I beat that water like I was in a slaughterhouse, but then some guy started swimming in my lane and I had to stop. I just can’t swim with some other person in my lane. Other people can, but I’m not other people.

    Love xoxoxxx

    p.s. If you can’t, I’ll teach you. Just adds more reasons to living. :)

    Reply
    • Dear PAZ,

      I can’t swim, I’m scared of big water. And I can’t go out. But thank you, if I could swim and if I could go out, I’d love to go swimming with you. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dear Dotty,
        I can teach you to swim, OR you can sit on a chair and watch me swim and tell me, “faster… faster… faster… faster, faster, faster. FASTER! FASTER! FOR FUCK’S FUCKIN SAKE FASTER!” And you can hold a stopwatch for me and tell me how I did. And you can hold a brick too and throw it at people who try to swim in the same lane as me.

        Did you always have Hermititis this bad?

        Love xoxoxxx

      • Dear PAZ,

        I wouldn’t mind the throwing bricks at swimmers activity, I could get used to that. Actually, the Olympic swimmers could employ me for last minute training, couldn’t they?

        No, not this bad.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,
        Great! You can help me then because I get all scared when people do that–start swimming in my lane.

        And I may be speaking out of line. But maybe you could try exposure therapy? I think some therapy may help. I have issues with crowded places, and hell, just going out. But obviously not as bad, no where near as bad. Then again, I live in a big ole city and I have to take public transport and all that, so I’ve had to forcefully put myself to exposure. I’ve had panic attacks and I hate and worry about having a really bad one in public, but again, my hermetitis is mild.
        Love xoxoxoxxx

      • p.s. I hope that wasn’t offensive. My dad did something the other day that pissed me off. He pushed me and my wheelchair into a super crowded room, had to run over feet and everything. I just closed my eyes and began counting. Anyway, if you work with a therapist maybe. I know it’s probably hard getting one. Agggh, I’ll shut up now and just write a post about the incident. hehehe

      • Dear PAZ,

        If only it were as easy as that. I know all the things I SHOULD do, but knowing them and putting them into practice… well.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,
        I know dear lady. I’m not undermining the difficulties. If anything, I’m someone who understands a bit more than most people how difficult it is. I hope you know that.
        Love xoxoxxx

      • Dear PAZ,

        I do.

        Now go and see my new blog. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,
        You have a new blog?

      • Oooooooooh! I see it now! Sorry, my dad was yelling at me. Working with him is not easy.

      • Dear PAZ,

        An easy one, but I hope it’ll grow. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

  10. Dear Dotty,
    There must be something in the air or the planets because this is Pissed Off Monday. I feel ya. I’m going to find a brick out in my yard or just hit my head on the wood floors.
    Love Maggie

    Reply
  11. I experienced this same emotion this morning, but mine was only roughly 0.06% as murderous as yours. I’m not too brilliant, and I think that’s why my feelings on waking up were nowhere close to as frustrating as yours. But I’m pretty convinced that you are rather brilliant (it’s the varying type…sign of greatness ferrr sure) , so keep on keeping on, oh wild minded one.
    -Ezra

    Reply
    • Dear Ezra,

      I’m amazed at how many people felt like this on Monday. I haven’t seen anything on the news, have you?

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  12. Sounds like Ms Dotty needs some ICE CREAM!!!!!!! OOO>>> a triple scoop today!

    Reply
  13. Dear Dotty,
    I recently aquired a little puppy and now I leave the house. sometimes we still stay in but not as often. Puppies take your mind off everything worrisome.
    I recommend you do the same, Dotty Dearest
    regards

    Reply
    • Dear Jennifer,

      JENNIFER! :-) :-) :-)

      I did think about getting a puppy last year (seriously) but then I thought it’d be cruel because what if I STILL couldn’t go out?

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  14. Dear Dotty,

    I think you need this T-shirt or one of its ilk: http://www.zazzle.com/i_heart_brick_t_shirt-235712198360211638

    Reply
  15. Love the positive thought!

    Reply
  16. I feel an intervention might well be in order. You can’t start having positive thoughts. What will you write about but sausages?

    Reply
  17. Dear Dotty,
    I’m sorry. I love you.
    Can people visit you? Or do visitors receive the brick also?
    Love,
    Magic

    Reply

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