How does a She-Hermit run away from home when she CAN’T GET OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE? How? HOW?
Big men in small cars. What’s that all about?
I wish, I wish I
was a fish, a fishy-fish
in a fishy dish.
Who invented madness? Does it go with chips?
Jack LaLanne’s Power Juicer.
How much is too much?
Yorkshire Gravy, A rich savoury gravy inspired by a taste of the region.
That’s what it says on my tub of Yorkshire Gravy.
WHO WROTE THIS, AND HOW DO THEY KNOW WHAT YORKSHIRE TASTES LIKE? WHY ARE THEY EATING MY COUNTY?
What is the meaning of BLEEP?
Should the green mung beans in my green mung bean jar be brown?
Why hasn’t someone invented a SILENT FRIDGE?
My tablecloth is dark blue with pale blue and white flowers. It’s nice. I remember getting it. It was discontinued from BHS and I got it for ONE OF OUR ENGLISH POUNDS when it should have been a lot more, I can’t remember how much more but it was A LOT more. Fifteen times more. Or twenty. I’ll have to give it a wash.
Why have I started having panic attacks if I’m in the same room as LETTUCE?
FUCK – A LAWNMOWER. Why? A bit of sunshine and out comes all the FUCKING NOISY GARDEN ELECTRICAL SHITE.
NIGELLA LAWSON – How To Eat (well DUH Nigella!!!) – Nigella Bites (perv) – How To Be A Domestic Goddess (LIES, ALL LIES – IT DOESN’T WORK).