I Need A Free Cleaner – All OCD People With Good Cleaning Skills Apply Here

 

The Job – Clean EVERYTHING.

Location – My house.

Hours – As many as you want.

Qualifications – You should know what to do with a bottle of Flash Spray With Bleach and a scourer.

Experience – Well, I’m presuming you’ll be VERY experienced.

Rate of Pay – As many Cumberland sausage sandwiches as you can eat (after you’ve given the cooker a good scrub).

 

 

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40 Comments

  1. Dear Dotty,

    I would like to apply for the above vacancy. Please contact me at all major supermarkets.

    Love,
    Mr. Muscle.
    xxx

    Reply
  2. You might find this mildly amusing or greatly groan worthy…

    http://inkisblood.blogspot.com/2007/12/disaffected-disinfector.html

    Reply
  3. Dear Dotty,

    I’d apply — you have heard dozens of times about my good apartment-cleaning skills — but the commute might take a lot of time. Thanks anyway!

    Love,

    Judith

    Reply
    • Dear Judith,

      If any Americans apply I’ll send them to you, if you like. ;-)

      Why is it so HARD to do it? I’ve never been Mrs Clean-Freak but this is just TRAMPY.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  4. Dorothy

     /  July 2, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    I’d love to do it because I am….ssshhhh (slightly ocd)….you didn’t hear that from me….
    I hide it behind little piles of mess here and there so no one guesses. I clean one room at a time and if I get tired I stop because the mess reappears for some reason (maybe the four others keep screwing it up or something) I like a clean kitchen because it’s where I live the most. You have to put on your bubble suit with the sponges attached and roll around the floor, works for me.
    Love Dorothy

    Reply
    • Dear Dorothy,

      I WANT A BUBBLE SUIT TOO!!! I WANT ONE!!! Then I can POP my way round the house. I’m going to buy some bubble-wrap. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dorothy

         /  July 3, 2012

        Dear Dotty,
        you see, even cleaning can be fun! (I’m sure my mother is rolling over in her grave hearing me say that one….lol)
        Love Dorothy

      • Dear Dorothy,

        I used to like cleaning (to an extent). I don’t if it’s because when I do it I have to do it thoroughly and perfectly that I don’t bother doing it at all now.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dorothy

         /  July 3, 2012

        Dear Dotty,
        I used to be the same and then I would not know where to begin because it would become too overwhelming, so I would not start at all. Now, the meds I take make it more manageable and I clean here and there and don’t care so much….ala la de da!
        Love Dorothy

      • Dear Dorothy,

        That’s good. :-) I’m waiting for new pills. I hope whatever they give me does the same for me!

        Love Dotty xxx

  5. Dear Dotty,

    If you find a suitable applicant for hire, can I borrow him/her from you every so often? I’ll provide remuneration in bricks and Cumberland sausages, of course.

    xoxo Mme Weebles

    Reply
    • Dear Mme Weebles,

      Yes you can – but only when my house has been cleaned to an excellent standard and it just needs maintaining to keep it nice. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  6. If that cleaner has a plane, send him/her/it to my place next…or a (big) boat–I’m staying real close to the Pacific ocean right now…

    Reply
    • Dear paralaxvu,

      Yes, but you’ll have to get in the queue, it seems everybody wants one. I’m glad I’m not the only one. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  7. When you become Miss Havisham the 2nd start to worry …

    Reply
  8. Maybe they can do my place next. They have to work for ice cream. Sausages first, ice cream second. ;-)

    Reply
  9. kzackuslheureux

     /  July 5, 2012

    Dearest Dotty,
    Crap, I thought you were going o give me secret words of wisdom for OCD people. Sorry to be so behind in reading your posts… you’d think I had a life!
    Love, Alphabet

    Reply
  10. I would do this job, but the commute is a little long.

    Reply
  11. Don’t think I’ll queue up for the cleaner. Not because I couldn’t do with it :-) but because when my husband comes home, he might not recognise the house and go away again.

    Reply

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