The Job – Clean EVERYTHING.
Location – My house.
Hours – As many as you want.
Qualifications – You should know what to do with a bottle of Flash Spray With Bleach and a scourer.
Experience – Well, I’m presuming you’ll be VERY experienced.
Rate of Pay – As many Cumberland sausage sandwiches as you can eat (after you’ve given the cooker a good scrub).
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 2, 2012
http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/i-need-a-free-cleaner-all-ocd-people-with-good-cleaning-skills-apply-here/
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rachelmiller1511
/ July 2, 2012Dear Dotty,
I would like to apply for the above vacancy. Please contact me at all major supermarkets.
Love,
Mr. Muscle.
xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 2, 2012Dear Mr Muscle,
You’re not as good as you pretend to be.
Flash is better.
You didn’t get the job.
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 2, 2012Awww, I’m gutted. I’ll go console myself with Toilet Duck.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 2, 2012Dear Rachel,
The mean, green, toilet cleaning machine.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ July 2, 2012You might find this mildly amusing or greatly groan worthy…
http://inkisblood.blogspot.com/2007/12/disaffected-disinfector.html
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 2, 2012Dear Misfit,
I just read through most of it (the blog). I wonder where he went.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ July 2, 2012He became the editor of Misfits’ Miscellany.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 2, 2012Dear Misfit,
I thought he might have.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ July 2, 2012Dear Dotty,
I’d apply — you have heard dozens of times about my good apartment-cleaning skills — but the commute might take a lot of time. Thanks anyway!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 2, 2012Dear Judith,
If any Americans apply I’ll send them to you, if you like.
Why is it so HARD to do it? I’ve never been Mrs Clean-Freak but this is just TRAMPY.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 2, 2012Dear Dotty,
I’d love to do it because I am….ssshhhh (slightly ocd)….you didn’t hear that from me….
I hide it behind little piles of mess here and there so no one guesses. I clean one room at a time and if I get tired I stop because the mess reappears for some reason (maybe the four others keep screwing it up or something) I like a clean kitchen because it’s where I live the most. You have to put on your bubble suit with the sponges attached and roll around the floor, works for me.
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I WANT A BUBBLE SUIT TOO!!! I WANT ONE!!! Then I can POP my way round the house. I’m going to buy some bubble-wrap.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 3, 2012Dear Dotty,
you see, even cleaning can be fun! (I’m sure my mother is rolling over in her grave hearing me say that one….lol)
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I used to like cleaning (to an extent). I don’t if it’s because when I do it I have to do it thoroughly and perfectly that I don’t bother doing it at all now.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 3, 2012Dear Dotty,
I used to be the same and then I would not know where to begin because it would become too overwhelming, so I would not start at all. Now, the meds I take make it more manageable and I clean here and there and don’t care so much….ala la de da!
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Dorothy,
That’s good.
I’m waiting for new pills. I hope whatever they give me does the same for me!
Love Dotty xxx
Madame Weebles
/ July 2, 2012Dear Dotty,
If you find a suitable applicant for hire, can I borrow him/her from you every so often? I’ll provide remuneration in bricks and Cumberland sausages, of course.
xoxo Mme Weebles
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Mme Weebles,
Yes you can – but only when my house has been cleaned to an excellent standard and it just needs maintaining to keep it nice.
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ July 2, 2012If that cleaner has a plane, send him/her/it to my place next…or a (big) boat–I’m staying real close to the Pacific ocean right now…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
Yes, but you’ll have to get in the queue, it seems everybody wants one. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Love Dotty xxx
BluemoonBookworm
/ July 2, 2012When you become Miss Havisham the 2nd start to worry …
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Bluemoon,
I got married in black.
Love Dotty xxx
BluemoonBookworm
/ July 3, 2012I didn’t doubt you for a moment!
XX
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Bluemoon,
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 3, 2012Maybe they can do my place next. They have to work for ice cream. Sausages first, ice cream second.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Brick,
I don’t know why there aren’t any more applicants – they’d have an international, jetset life flying from here to America and back. What’s wrong with people nowadays?
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 3, 2012you are so right. Jet set life, all you can eat Cumberland sausages and ice cream. what’s going on in the world???
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 3, 2012Dear Brick,
It’s like they don’t WANT the job or something. No wonder our countries are in such a mess.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 3, 2012LOLLLL
kzackuslheureux
/ July 5, 2012Dearest Dotty,
Crap, I thought you were going o give me secret words of wisdom for OCD people. Sorry to be so behind in reading your posts… you’d think I had a life!
Love, Alphabet
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Alphabet,
A life? What’s that?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 5, 2012I would do this job, but the commute is a little long.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear pmao,
You could emigrate. Bring your family.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 6, 2012I would hate to become a member of a minority just to clean houses. That seems way too much like I am just playing to the stereotypes. Also, I am afraid that all the well heeled English households would be forced to hire American butlers just to keep up with you.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear pmao,
But wouldn’t that help the American economy?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 6, 2012Yes, but it would make your country lose about 60 IQ points.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear pmao,
Per second?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 6, 2012Ouch… but yeah… duh…
Pat
/ August 30, 2012Don’t think I’ll queue up for the cleaner. Not because I couldn’t do with it
but because when my husband comes home, he might not recognise the house and go away again.
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 1, 2012Dear Pat,
I’m glad you don’t want your husband to go away. Most women DO want them to go away.
Love Dotty xxx