Dotty In A Wordy Wind Up – Like A Coyle (THIS IS A FUNNY TITLE, I MADE MYSELF LAUGH)

 

 

Don’t get the joke in my title? You will in a minute.

I read Robin’s new post a short while ago, Annoying Phrases That Need “Just Chill” (go and read it)

I did a reply, then I remembered something else I wanted to add so I did another reply, then I remembered something else and got ANOTHER reply box up and started typing and typing and then I stopped and thought, oops, I better not fill up Robin’s comments with shite, plus I REALLY NEEDED TO SWEAR because these phrases ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF ME, THEY’RE SO FUCKING STUPID. aaaahhh, that’s better. SHITEY FUCKING FUCK FUCK.

So anyway, here’s what I was going to put in the third reply box – words that people FUCK UP BADLY -

 

When they start every sentence with

“Generally…”

except people mistake it for ‘genuinely’

and it comes out as “Genually” (I’ve even heard this said by presenters on telly)

and they also use “genually” instead of ‘genuinely’ —

‘Genually, when I see poor people, I genually feel sorry for them.’

ARSEWIPES.

 

 
another one I’ve heard on telly LOADS OF FUCKING TIMES is

“You’ve earnt…

EARNT?

EARNT?

There’s no such word as EARNT, you dim TWATS.

DALE WANKY WINSTON ON THE LOTTERY PROGRAMME – DO NOT SAY IT AGAIN, YOU ILLITERATE ORANGE GIT.

BBC – WHY HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED DALE WANKY WINSTON SAYING IT, YOU MONEY-GRABBING ILLITERATE GITS?

 

 

I feel much better now.

 

 

 
EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT — I think his name is Dale Wanky WINTON not Dale Wanky WINSTON. Oh well.

 

 

 

 

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT – THE ABOVE  SHITE ABOUT ‘EARNT’ IS AN EXAMPLE OF MY OWN STUPIDITY AND AN EXAMPLE OF TYPOMANIA BUT MY EXCUSE IS THAT IT ISN’T IN THE DICTIONARY. BUT IT IS AN ARCHAIC WORD AND I AM

FUCKING

MORTIFIED

AND NOW I’M GOING TO HIDE UNDER MY FLOORBOARDS AND NEVER COME OUT.

 

 

Leave a comment

65 Comments

  1. HAHAHAHA . . . glad you didn’t let all of that loose on my blog! However, it would have genually spiced things up!

    Thanks for the mention and I’m glad you got all that off your chest. You earnt it.

    Reply
  2. Dear Dotty,

    Spoken for all of us!

    Love,

    Judith 8-)

    Reply
  3. Dear Dotty, I hope you won’t mind me proffering an opinion but earnt is a word. It was good anough for Charles Dickens y’see, so it’s good enough for me. I think it’s an example of americanisation (deliberate s) like learned and learnt. But now I shall scuttle away and bore off. Sorry. Love Wee Gee xx

    Reply
    • Dear WeeGee,

      You’re right. I stand corrected.

      Love Dotty xxx

      P.S. SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB

      Reply
      • Dear Dotty,

        Please don’t sob. I do so hate it when people sob.

        Love wee Gee

      • Dear WeeGee,

        I’ll try not to.

        I’m going to give you an award for being the FIRST PERSON EVER TO BEAT DOTTY. Because NO ONE BEATS DOTTY. NO ONE. (sob)

        The award is THE THREE BINS OF BLOGGING AWARD and if you want it you’ll find it on the sidebar.

        (sob)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,

        I’m so taking that award and placing it proudly on my sidebar because I consider it an honour.

        Did you stop sobbing yet?!

        Much love, Wee Gee x

      • Dear WeeGee,

        No, not yet.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,

        I feel rotten. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I love your blog, its an OCD thing on my part – I’m the grammar police, I can’t help it.

      • Dear WeeGee,

        Don’t feel rotten. I’m the grammar police too – which is why I should have asked Google first. But the thing is, I’ve been saying it for YEARS every time orange Dale said it I’d shout at the telly – and I’d shout at Melanie Sykes when she used to do that quiz programme, The Vault – YEARS ago. And I’d tell everyone how STUPID and ILLITERATE they were. And all along it’s been ME.

        Love Dotty xxx

        P.S. I’m surprised no one’s come along and made fun of me. ;-)

  4. I used to work with a woman who said “supposably”
    What???

    Reply
    • Dear Maggie,

      I can’t comment on anyone’s stupidity now – I’ve just shown my own and it’s FIFTY MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN ANYONE ELSE’S.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  5. Dear Dotty, Don’t you like Dale Winton then? Just a thought. From Chris :)

    Reply
    • Dear Christine,

      I have to take back all I said about the nice, orange Mr Winton. I’m the illiterate twat. I got it wrong. ‘Earnt’ IS a real word.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dear Dotty, I learnt that from the comment before mine. Thanks Dotty. Orange you glad you found out now. Cheers Chris x

      • Dear Christine,

        No, I wish I’d found out before I did this post.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty, ha. I’m sure nobody has noticed. I felt you had to let out all that aggression and if you can’t do it WordPress, then where could you? It’s OK Dotty. It’s a silly word anyway. It should be ‘earned’ as it is the past tense of earn. Normally one would put ‘ed’ at the end of a past tense verb. I do understand why you don’t like it. Just because it’s in the dictionary, it doesn’t mean one has to say it. Don’t get me started on words people on the telly use. Lol Hope you feel better soon. Take care, Chris x

      • Dear Christine,

        I’ll never live it down.

        Love Dotty xxx

  6. I hate it when people say nu-cu-lar instead of nuclear. Arghhhhhh!!!!!!

    Reply
  7. thewhitetrashgourmet

     /  July 5, 2012

    Ms Dotty – I abhor the misuse of the English language. What the fucking, fuck is a “libary” anyway?

    Love,

    TWTG

    Reply
  8. well you “earnt” my respect with this random blog LOL

    Reply
  9. Dear Dotty,
    My opinion is, if it ain’t in the dictionary, it ain’t a word.
    And if that is the case, then Shakespeare is gibberish… and no one ever needs to read it again!!!

    So, stop hiding under the floor boards and hold your head high :)

    Love,
    -the howler and me

    Reply
  10. Dorothy

     /  July 6, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    I am so glad that I am anti-social and don’t use these icky over-used terminology of the so-called society of the day.(ala Robin’s blog) . Besides you have better words like twats and arsewipes anyway……hahahaha.
    Love Dorothy

    Reply
  11. Maybe if you Brits had accents more like those of us Americans, “generally” and “genuinely” wouldn’t sound similar–I’ve never noticed that here, at least.

    Reply
    • Dear Angel,

      You might notice it now it’s been brought to your attention. Let me know when you hear your first. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  12. *waving Cumberland sausages in air*

    Dotttttyyyy… oh Dottyyyyyy… come out, come out, wherever you are… you can’t hide under the floorboards forever, you know…

    …well you can… but who’s going to eat all the sausages??? Hmmmm… nice sausages… yummy…

    Reply
    • Dear tlsih,

      Two more days and I’ll come out.
      IF ANYONE TOUCHES MY CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES I’LL COME OUT — ANGRY! And you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  13. wise words there dotty – worried about your views on winton though – isn’t he a hi vis national treasure?

    Reply
    • Dear Ginger,

      Yes, he is. He’s the nicest, most intelligent, most orange national treasure we have. I’M SORRY DALE WINTON. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE DOUBTED YOU.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  14. Dear Dotty,

    “Whoops” and here, have some laudanum – you’ll feel better.

    Love, Missus Tribble xxx

    Reply
    • Dear Missus Tribble,

      Oh thank you. Can I have some more, please?

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dear Dotty,

        Yes you may. I’m sticking to absinthe.

        Love, Missus Tribble xxx

      • Dear Missus Tribble,

        Someone commented that absinthe is ALCOHOL. I don’t agree, I’ve said it a few times over the months, it’s a nice planty drink made from a nice plant. I know it is because I don’t drink alcohol. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Yes, it’s made of wormwood, which makes you feel “fluffy”. If I drink two in one evening I’m “fluffy” for days just from drinking water!

        We can both pretend it isn’t alcohol… right? :)

        Love, Missus Tribble xxx

      • Dear Missus Tribble,

        I know – I grow wormwood, and Branwell taught me how to extract its lovely juice to make NON-ALCOHOLIC absinthe. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,

        I suspect that the wormwood alone is what produces the “fluffy” feeling? I’ll ask the Absinthe Fairy next time I see her and see if she agrees.

        Love, Missus Tribble xxx

      • Dear Missus Tribble,

        I think she might. ;-)

        Love Dotty xxx

  15. Iris Murdoch said, “language is a sick science which requires curing as we go.” Something like that.

    Reply
  16. I wonder how many lives are saved by you letting your anger out in words. I bet there would hardly be anyone left alive in the U.K. if you didn’t have a blog.

    Reply
  17. No, don’t hide under your floorboards and never come out!! Who will provide the daily dose of insanity required to keep us all insane?

    Reply
  1. A couple of bloggers save the day « How do you eat an elephant?

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