Don’t get the joke in my title? You will in a minute.
I read Robin’s new post a short while ago, Annoying Phrases That Need “Just Chill” (go and read it)
I did a reply, then I remembered something else I wanted to add so I did another reply, then I remembered something else and got ANOTHER reply box up and started typing and typing and then I stopped and thought, oops, I better not fill up Robin’s comments with shite, plus I REALLY NEEDED TO SWEAR because these phrases ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF ME, THEY’RE SO FUCKING STUPID. aaaahhh, that’s better. SHITEY FUCKING FUCK FUCK.
So anyway, here’s what I was going to put in the third reply box – words that people FUCK UP BADLY -
When they start every sentence with
“Generally…”
except people mistake it for ‘genuinely’
and it comes out as “Genually” (I’ve even heard this said by presenters on telly)
and they also use “genually” instead of ‘genuinely’ —
‘Genually, when I see poor people, I genually feel sorry for them.’
ARSEWIPES.
another one I’ve heard on telly LOADS OF FUCKING TIMES is
“You’ve earnt…
EARNT?
EARNT?
There’s no such word as EARNT, you dim TWATS.
DALE WANKY WINSTON ON THE LOTTERY PROGRAMME – DO NOT SAY IT AGAIN, YOU ILLITERATE ORANGE GIT.
BBC – WHY HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED DALE WANKY WINSTON SAYING IT, YOU MONEY-GRABBING ILLITERATE GITS?
I feel much better now.
EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT — I think his name is Dale Wanky WINTON not Dale Wanky WINSTON. Oh well.
EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT – THE ABOVE SHITE ABOUT ‘EARNT’ IS AN EXAMPLE OF MY OWN STUPIDITY AND AN EXAMPLE OF TYPOMANIA BUT MY EXCUSE IS THAT IT ISN’T IN THE DICTIONARY. BUT IT IS AN ARCHAIC WORD AND I AM
FUCKING
MORTIFIED
AND NOW I’M GOING TO HIDE UNDER MY FLOORBOARDS AND NEVER COME OUT.
robincoyle
/ July 5, 2012HAHAHAHA . . . glad you didn’t let all of that loose on my blog! However, it would have genually spiced things up!
Thanks for the mention and I’m glad you got all that off your chest. You earnt it.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Robin,
AAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ July 5, 2012Sorry. You set yourself up for that!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Robin,
My bad. But it is what it is, and it’s literally my personal preference at the end of the day that you literally don’t go there. Actually, the reality is – just chill, it’s all good.
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ July 5, 2012Ouch! Just chill Dotty!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Robin,
Chilling.
Have a nice day.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty,
Spoken for all of us!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Judith,
Love Dotty xxx
WeeGee
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty, I hope you won’t mind me proffering an opinion but earnt is a word. It was good anough for Charles Dickens y’see, so it’s good enough for me. I think it’s an example of americanisation (deliberate s) like learned and learnt. But now I shall scuttle away and bore off. Sorry. Love Wee Gee xx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear WeeGee,
You’re right. I stand corrected.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB
WeeGee
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty,
Please don’t sob. I do so hate it when people sob.
Love wee Gee
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear WeeGee,
I’ll try not to.
I’m going to give you an award for being the FIRST PERSON EVER TO BEAT DOTTY. Because NO ONE BEATS DOTTY. NO ONE. (sob)
The award is THE THREE BINS OF BLOGGING AWARD and if you want it you’ll find it on the sidebar.
(sob)
Love Dotty xxx
WeeGee
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty,
I’m so taking that award and placing it proudly on my sidebar because I consider it an honour.
Did you stop sobbing yet?!
Much love, Wee Gee x
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear WeeGee,
No, not yet.
Love Dotty xxx
WeeGee
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty,
I feel rotten. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I love your blog, its an OCD thing on my part – I’m the grammar police, I can’t help it.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear WeeGee,
Don’t feel rotten. I’m the grammar police too – which is why I should have asked Google first. But the thing is, I’ve been saying it for YEARS every time orange Dale said it I’d shout at the telly – and I’d shout at Melanie Sykes when she used to do that quiz programme, The Vault – YEARS ago. And I’d tell everyone how STUPID and ILLITERATE they were. And all along it’s been ME.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. I’m surprised no one’s come along and made fun of me.
Maggie O'C
/ July 5, 2012I used to work with a woman who said “supposably”
What???
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Maggie,
I can’t comment on anyone’s stupidity now – I’ve just shown my own and it’s FIFTY MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN ANYONE ELSE’S.
Love Dotty xxx
Christine.
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty, Don’t you like Dale Winton then? Just a thought. From Chris
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Christine,
I have to take back all I said about the nice, orange Mr Winton. I’m the illiterate twat. I got it wrong. ‘Earnt’ IS a real word.
Love Dotty xxx
Christine.
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty, I learnt that from the comment before mine. Thanks Dotty. Orange you glad you found out now. Cheers Chris x
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Christine,
No, I wish I’d found out before I did this post.
Love Dotty xxx
Christine.
/ July 5, 2012Dear Dotty, ha. I’m sure nobody has noticed. I felt you had to let out all that aggression and if you can’t do it WordPress, then where could you? It’s OK Dotty. It’s a silly word anyway. It should be ‘earned’ as it is the past tense of earn. Normally one would put ‘ed’ at the end of a past tense verb. I do understand why you don’t like it. Just because it’s in the dictionary, it doesn’t mean one has to say it. Don’t get me started on words people on the telly use. Lol Hope you feel better soon. Take care, Chris x
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Christine,
I’ll never live it down.
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 5, 2012I hate it when people say nu-cu-lar instead of nuclear. Arghhhhhh!!!!!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 5, 2012Dear Rachel,
ME TOO! Oh, wait, no I can’t. Not now.
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 5, 2012thewhitetrashgourmet
/ July 5, 2012Ms Dotty – I abhor the misuse of the English language. What the fucking, fuck is a “libary” anyway?
Love,
TWTG
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear twtg,
It’s probably a place where people who don’t read think books are kept.
Love Dotty xxx
garry williams blog
/ July 6, 2012well you “earnt” my respect with this random blog LOL
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Garry,
Go on, rub it in, why don’t you?
Love Dotty xxx
garry williams blog
/ July 6, 2012unrelated but my blog has now had 1000 viewers! im so happy woot woot
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Garry,
Congratulations!!
Love Dotty xxx
garry williams blog
/ July 6, 2012thank you people like you and weegee inspire me
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Garry,
You have a good blog, good information.
Love Dotty xxx
the howler and me
/ July 6, 2012Dear Dotty,
My opinion is, if it ain’t in the dictionary, it ain’t a word.
And if that is the case, then Shakespeare is gibberish… and no one ever needs to read it again!!!
So, stop hiding under the floor boards and hold your head high
Love,
-the howler and me
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear the howler and me,
I have two more days to do under the floorboards then I can come out.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 6, 2012Dear Dotty,
I am so glad that I am anti-social and don’t use these icky over-used terminology of the so-called society of the day.(ala Robin’s blog) . Besides you have better words like twats and arsewipes anyway……hahahaha.
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Dorothy,
If only I could write a book full of twats and arsewipes…
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 6, 2012good idea for a new blog : D
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Dorothy,
Oooh, yes – I might just do that!!!
Love Dotty xxx
Angel Fractured
/ July 6, 2012Maybe if you Brits had accents more like those of us Americans, “generally” and “genuinely” wouldn’t sound similar–I’ve never noticed that here, at least.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Angel,
You might notice it now it’s been brought to your attention. Let me know when you hear your first.
Love Dotty xxx
thelastsongiheard
/ July 6, 2012*waving Cumberland sausages in air*
Dotttttyyyy… oh Dottyyyyyy… come out, come out, wherever you are… you can’t hide under the floorboards forever, you know…
…well you can… but who’s going to eat all the sausages??? Hmmmm… nice sausages… yummy…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear tlsih,
Two more days and I’ll come out.
IF ANYONE TOUCHES MY CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES I’LL COME OUT — ANGRY! And you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Love Dotty xxx
gingerfightback
/ July 6, 2012wise words there dotty – worried about your views on winton though – isn’t he a hi vis national treasure?
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Ginger,
Yes, he is. He’s the nicest, most intelligent, most orange national treasure we have. I’M SORRY DALE WINTON. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE DOUBTED YOU.
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ July 6, 2012Dear Dotty,
“Whoops” and here, have some laudanum – you’ll feel better.
Love, Missus Tribble xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
Oh thank you. Can I have some more, please?
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ July 6, 2012Dear Dotty,
Yes you may. I’m sticking to absinthe.
Love, Missus Tribble xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
Someone commented that absinthe is ALCOHOL. I don’t agree, I’ve said it a few times over the months, it’s a nice planty drink made from a nice plant. I know it is because I don’t drink alcohol.
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ July 6, 2012Yes, it’s made of wormwood, which makes you feel “fluffy”. If I drink two in one evening I’m “fluffy” for days just from drinking water!
We can both pretend it isn’t alcohol… right?
Love, Missus Tribble xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
I know – I grow wormwood, and Branwell taught me how to extract its lovely juice to make NON-ALCOHOLIC absinthe.
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ July 6, 2012Dear Dotty,
I suspect that the wormwood alone is what produces the “fluffy” feeling? I’ll ask the Absinthe Fairy next time I see her and see if she agrees.
Love, Missus Tribble xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
I think she might.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ July 6, 2012Iris Murdoch said, “language is a sick science which requires curing as we go.” Something like that.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear Misfit,
I feel better knowing it’s a reccurring pus-filled boil of a word.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 6, 2012I wonder how many lives are saved by you letting your anger out in words. I bet there would hardly be anyone left alive in the U.K. if you didn’t have a blog.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 6, 2012Dear pmao,
You know, I think you might be right.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 6, 2012Twice a day, like a broken clock…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear pmao,
More than me.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 7, 2012awwwww
faithhopechocolate
/ July 9, 2012No, don’t hide under your floorboards and never come out!! Who will provide the daily dose of insanity required to keep us all insane?
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear fhc,
I came out. I only stayed there for two days.
Love Dotty xxx