Dismal Dotty

 

Sorry I didn’t do a post yesterday, I was counting my hair.

147245 – twenty three fewer hairs than last month.

I’m going bald.

And I’m scared of WIGS.

I have a WIG PHOBIA.

WIGS freak me out completely.

I don’t want to wear a WIG.

I don’t want to.

 

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58 Comments

  1. Perhaps invest in a collection of hats or scarves so much more versatile and all you have to do is put it on, no more bad hair days.

    Reply
    • Dear trh,

      I don’t like hats and scarves – if you’re wearing a hat and a scarf and a psycho comes along he’d pull the hat down over my eyes so I couldn’t see what was happening, then strangle me with the scarf.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  2. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it Dotty. Hair is over-rated.

    Reply
    • Dear 1point,

      For men, perhaps! But not for women!

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Your only hope is to go for the Trump Swirly-comb-over. Start working on it right away, so when the hair loss reaches the critical stage, your friends and family will not see the difference.

      • Dear 1point,

        I tried doing a comb-over but I fell over my coffee table and walloped my chin on the carpet. It hurt.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • May I suggest you take a page from many online personalities and make a pretend version of yourself? One with luxurious flowing locks of hair, no phobias of the outside world, nor any abnormal loves of cumberland sausages….oh wait, never mind, then you’d be like everyone else! Keep being you Dotty – we’ll love you whether you have hair or not-so-much hair

      • Dear 1point,

        It won’t be the same if I go bald. Notes From A Bald She-Hermit or Being Bald And Mental And Loving It. No. Nonononononononono.
        I’m going to ask Google for some hair restoring cream.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Of course! Google will give you the fix you need! Why hadn’t I thought of that?!

      • Dear 1point,

        Hair is attached to brain cells. ;-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Looked at my profile pic lately? The hair/brain connection is obviously lost on me…a brain would only get in my way anyway.

      • Dear 1point,

        I’m a bit hairbrained at times. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

  3. Bald women are cool.

    Reply
  4. I checked with my friend Sinead O’Connor, and she said she checked with her friends Telly Savalas and Yule Brynner, and they said NO WIGs, and when you get to 7245 to ask again, in case things have changed.

    Reply
    • Dear Ella,

      Sinead O’Connor HAS hair now, I saw her singing on telly (not Telly Savalas, though she might have done at some point in the past, it’s not impossible).

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  5. Dear Dotty,
    Don’t fret so. When a hair falls out, the follicle has a rest for a while, before another takes its place. On average there are over one hundred thousand strands of hair on an adult head. Blondes average about 140,000 strands, brunettes average 108,000 and redheads average 90,000. You have 147245 hairs! You have more than your fair share of hair!
    And I reckon you must be a blonde!
    Grumpy x

    Reply
  6. clownonfire

     /  July 13, 2012

    Dotty,
    Wigs are great. I see them all the time on Coronation Street, and on your Queen. It thought it was mandatory for all you Brits?
    Le Clown

    Reply
    • Dear clown,

      It is, but only Southerners wear them now. The Coronation Street cast are trying to appeal to the middle classes who live down there, so the wigs have to stay. Sad but true.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  7. Dear Dotty,
    the last time i read your posts you had hermatitis and now wig phobia! God bless your poor soul.
    Love,
    Habiba.

    Reply
  8. Sounds like you are wigging out ;-)

    Reply
  9. Dear Dotty,
    Have you tried Nioxin?
    Love, Lis
    xoxoxo

    Reply
  10. Get Rogaine for Women.

    Reply
  11. kzackuslheureux

     /  July 13, 2012

    Dear Dotty, What if it’s a synthetic wig, like a halloween wig? I don’t even want a real-hair wig to brush across my skin. GROSS! Get some plugs, because I agree, you are likely going bald, balder than an American Eagle :D hee hee
    Love, Alphabet

    Reply
  12. Could you come count my hair? I think I lost some yesterday while editing my manuscript . . . as in tearing out my hair!

    Reply
    • Dear Robin,

      Of course I will, when my eyeballs have uncrossed themselves and migrated back to their usual, front-forward looking position (in about three or four days).

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  13. Hey now! Stop wiggin’ out about this. Oh wait, maybe that’s not a good figure of speech.

    Reply
  14. My dear Dotty,

    Skip the wig — you can be bald and beautiful, when that day comes around. 8-)

    Love,

    Judith

    Reply
  15. I commiserate with you. As I’ve gotten into my 60s, hair seems to be coming out that is not being replaced. I know I’m blonde (well, ok, I WAS blonde, now it’s more like Anderson Cooper’s), but after while there have to be some bald spots. Then how do I cover the crud on my scalp? Wigs would only exacerbate it. Dandruff shampoo does not cure it. Good point about hats and scarves, too. Ummm, could I come live with you? Or you could come live with me and R and the two barking zombies, but you prolly wouldn’t want to…

    Reply
  16. Dorothy

     /  July 15, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    I don’t know……Being Bald And Mental And Loving It…it has a certain ring to it. I like it. I guarantee it would draw people in just to see what it was all about, esp. men…they have a certain perversion about women being bald. They’ll never admit it but whether they’re running their fingers through hair or over a bald head they don’t care, as long as it’s something feminine.
    Once when I was taking a higher dosage of the medication Depakote my hair would get very thin in the front of my head and look balding on my scalp line. There was nothing I could do about it so I just ignored it figuring no one looked at me anyway. After lowering the dose it grew back. Now it just gets gray every time I look at it. But I earned those stripes as my auntie says. Bring out the hair dye and turn back the clock. My point is, it’s all in the mind. If you don’t mind no one else will either. Your wonderful personality will be all that they see.
    It’s true, at least it works for my three personalities.

    Reply
  17. Every time you lose a hair, a barber gets his wings…
    Besides, keep looking… I am sure you have new ones somewhere you weren’t expecting. All part of nature’s plan, me love.

    Reply

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