Well, I Tried To Stay Away But I Can’t

 

I managed one whole day and one whole morning, which almost equals two days but it doesn’t really. I thought having a break would be good, give me some perspective on why the wordy block is returning, but I didn’t take into account the REASON I’ve been blogging every day which is to give me something to focus on that helps in the battle with the doomy-gloomies. And to get my brain into some sort of working order again. And to help me ignore the hyperacusis and tinnitus (which are getting worse so I think that might have something to do with the wordy block).

Plus, do you know how long a hour can feel like to a bell-head She-Hermit who can’t keep two thoughts straight in her head? A LONG FUCKING TIME, that’s how long. A LONG, LONG, LONG, FUCKING TIME.

So I’ll continue to ramble and rant for now and see what happens.

 

 

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66 Comments

  1. welcome back! (in zombie type voice) “one of us, one of us” :-)

    Reply
  2. clownonfire

     /  July 21, 2012

    Le Dotty,
    I love your rambles [Le Clown is feeling sentimental today]. So no snarky comments for you.
    Le Clown

    Reply
  3. Dear Dotty,

    I suffer from hyperacusis too and it annoys the ever living fuck out of me. Sometimes I can’t sleep during the summer because someone in the block of flats near my house leaves a window open and has a fridge humming away BUT NOBODY ELSE CAN HEAR IT!! It’s a part of my autism but I don’t have to like it.

    If my wordy block is really bad I have another blog where I type complete and utter inane bollocks until something intelligent comes to me so that I can blog here instead.

    Love, Missus Tribble xxx

    Reply
    • Dear Missus Tribble,

      I HATE the hyperacusis, it makes the tinnitus ten times worse AND the Hermititis more difficult to fight. Sorry you have it too, it’s a bastard.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  4. I am glad you did not stay away…I am just getting to know you. :)
    Welcome back!

    Reply
  5. I’ve never had hyperacusis, but I know that when my psychosis is bad every little noise makes me leap out of my skin, like it’s gotta be a demon come to get me, so I can sort of relate. I’m glad you’re back blogging again. Blogging may help you keep sane, but your blogs also help me keep (somewhat) sane. So, I’m so happy you’re back! (jumping up and down)

    Reply
    • Dear Kathleen,

      Sorry you ahve the fear of noises when you’re bad. The fear – that’s exactly what it’s like – normal noises aren’t normal any more, the background sounds I used to know and recognise, like a lawnmower in a neighbour’s garden, can be terrifying because they’re amplified out of all recognition, so the distant lawnmower sounds like a giant fly buzzing round my head (swiping it away makes me look like I’ve gone completely loopy, but that’s anyone’s instant reaction to a fly near their head). I’m having to relearn all the background noises that have changed – all machinery, traffic, running water (at least I can hear if a tap’s dripping upstairs!!) etc etc.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  6. I wondered how you were enjoying your vacation in the spare room with the jagged stairs… I’m just plain glad you’re back. To chime in on the Depressed Moose’s chorus — gooba gabba gooba gabba (courtesy of the movie Freaks)

    Reply
  7. Dear Dotty,

    Dang, hyperacusis AND tinnitus? That would make me homicidal. How have you not killed many people? (of course, I’m assuming you haven’t but I could be wrong)

    xoxo Mme Weebles

    Reply
    • Dear Mme Weebles,

      I’ve felt like killing people. Seriously. Or at the very least, punching them hard in the face.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  8. Dorothy

     /  July 21, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    my sympathies and I have been sick….head in toilet sick…still I hope your day is better for you
    Love Dorothy

    Reply
    • Dear Dorothy,

      Poor you – I hope you’re feeling better. Did you have a bug?

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dorothy

         /  July 21, 2012

        Dear Dotty,
        Probably, though I suppose it could have been alcohol poisoning.
        In any case, I’ve stopped it again and really don’t want a drink now though I’m forcing water and broth.
        Love Dorothy

      • Dear Dorothy,

        Ooo, nasty. Hope you feel better today.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dorothy

         /  July 22, 2012

        Dear Dotty,
        Much better, thanks. A good lesson for me. I’m not indestructible and I think I was lucky to find out early on before doing too much damage. I still feel very tired but not sick. I’m going to keep that memory as long as I can though.
        Love Dorothy

      • Dear Dorothy,

        Yes, hold on to it. I know it’s a different thing but I came down with a nasty sick bug not long after I’d eaten my favourite pizza one night. I thought nothing could ever put me off them but I was so ill that I can’t abide even the smell of garlic and mushrooms now without it making me heave.

        Love Dotty xxx

  9. Oh, I’m so glad you couldn’t stay away!

    Reply
    • Dear paralaxvu,

      I’m like a stinky smell. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Not so much a stinky one, just one that gets better the longer it’s around. Not like a Glade candle, doncha know…

      • Dear paralaxvu,

        … but like a stinky old cheese. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • mmm, perhaps limburger? My sister loved it. And I loved my sister. Still do. So I must love you too. (Gosh, I’m glad I took that class in college whose name I don’t remember but it made me think more logically. For a few minutes at a time.)

      • Dear paralaxvu,

        Is it smellier than Stinking Bishop?

        Love Dotty xxx

  10. I’m glad you’re back, because your writing helps to fend off my doomy-gloomies as well. Two birds, one stone. You know. Ugh, crap words crap crappy tired wordy block.

    Reply
  11. Dearest Dotty
    a stinky smell that we all love… never leave again…. hang some Hopper in your room next time.
    Unfetteredbs

    Reply
    • Dear bs,

      Ha, that’s weird – you just reminded me I have a big posh Hopper calendar from a few years back that I’ve saved to cut the pictures off and frame. I’ve got Lowry all over the house (from a big posh calendar) and a few Jack Vettriano (from a big posh calendar). I got a load of calendars cheap in the February or March, stuck the pictures in frames I got from charity shops and VOILA, some nice pictures that look posh and expensive but cost bugger all. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • I dig Jack Vettriano as well…
        awesomeness on the art finds! Im gonna look up Lowry.. that is a new one for me.
        Cheers
        UBS

      • Dear bs,

        I LOVE Lowry. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dearest Dotty
        I just requestes some Lowry books from the library… you have done your job today educating the masses :)
        and we just got Karl Pienkofer cds in; I am loving it!
        Kindly
        UBS

      • Dear bs,
        :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • I dig Jack Vettriano as well…
        awesomeness on the art finds! Im gonna look up Lowry.. that is a new one for me.
        Cheers
        UBS
        ps I am glad I looked at LS Lowry. Ever check out George Tooker… creepy but oh so good

      • Dear bs,

        I’d not heard of Tooker. Thank you. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

  12. Post away, dear Dotty… we love to read your words :D

    Reply
  13. ramble and rant… comment, post, comment, comment, post… ramble and rant… comment, post, comment, comment, post…, ramble and rant… comment, post, comment, comment, post… it’s all good :)

    Reply
  14. Dear Dotty,

    I’m glad! I love your rants and rambles!

    Love,

    Judith

    Reply
  15. Awwww… you just love us. And we love you.

    Reply
  16. Dear Dotty,
    So you couldn’t stay away, eh? hahah. I couldn’t either…until…our internet was cut off. Back on though.

    Resistance is futile!

    meheheheh
    Love Dotty

    Reply
  17. FUCK! Today has not been a good day, I meant Love Paz xoxoxo

    Reply
    • Dear PAZ,

      I haven’t been round to many of the blogs for a while – just trying to get my head straight, it’s been a bit boggly. Plus I can’t keep up with all the reading but I’m trying to stop letting it get to me and just relax about it.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Are you okay?

      Reply
      • Dear Dotty,
        I know the feeling. Keep trying to let it stop getting to you. Remember you.

        I’m eh, meh, teh. I’ll be alright I think.

        xoxoxxx

      • Dear PAZ,

        I hope so. It’s hard, but the old cliches about giving it time are right. The hurt won’t go away but it will ease.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,
        Thank you lovely. I hope it eases soon. God, I hope so too.
        Love xoxoxxx

      • Dear PAZ,

        Big hugs from over here.

        Lots of love, Dotty xxx

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