Over the last few days, as I’ve been skipping my way round the blogs making a few inroads into the massive pile of post notifications in my email, I’ve encountered a VERY STRANGE THING – I’m not the only one with WORDY BLOCK. An exceptional amount of bloggers have it. Bloggers who are normally prolific and reliable are struggling for words. They can’t think of what to write. Their mojo has turned into noflo.
What’s going on?
Is it a nasty lurgy? A WORDY BLOCK flu?
Are we all infecting each other?
YES WE ARE!
The blogging atmosphere is RIFE WITH WORDY BLOCK GERMS.
Doesn’t anyone own a HANDKERCHIEF? It’s basic HYGIENE when a lurgy is doing the rounds – YOU DON’T SNEEZE YOUR GERMS INTO THE AIR FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO CATCH. YOU USE A HANKY. OR A TISSUE. OR A BIT OF LOO ROLL IF YOU HAVEN’T GOT A HANKY OR A TISSUE.
Who started it? Who was THE FIRST TO BE INFECTED?
It wasn’t me.
I use PALMOLIVE ANTIBACTERIAL HANDWASH that kills 99.9% of BACTERIA (the blue stuff – it’s good).
And I use tissues. KLEENEX BALSAM TISSUES.
So it definitely wasn’t me.
Was it YOU?
And what if it turns into WORDY BLOCK PNEUMONIA?
What if we all DIE OF WORDY BLOCK?
You’ll wish you’d washed your hands then, won’t you, you FIRST-INFECTED SPREAD-THE-LURGY FUCKER? Because you’ll be left with NOTHING TO READ when we ALL DIE.
And you’ll wish you’d used a hanky. FUCKING SKANK.
And when you’ve killed us all off I hope WordPress sues the arse off you and you have to declare yourself BANKRUPT.
FILTHY GERM-RIDDEN PIG.
DIRTY, DISEASY TRAMP.
If I could be bothered opening up Photoshop I’d make you a sign to hang round your neck to let people know WHAT YOU ARE.