Could I, Should I, Would I? Decisions, Decisions, Decisions.

 

Could I? – Yes / No

Should I? – The grey area. 

Would I? –  I don’t know. It’s difficult. I can’t decide because I don’t know the outcome.

 

Okay, I know what you’re thinking – ‘Is she going to tell us WHAT DECISION SHE HAS TO MAKE?’ Well, no I’m not because there isn’t a decision to be made. Mental She-Hermits don’t have many decisions to make and if one happens to come along we don’t recognise that it WAS a decision until after the fact – decisions are made on INSTINCTIVE MOODY AUTOPILOT which isn’t a good way to make ALL decisions so I’ve decided (WAY-HAY!) to ask myself these three questions AT ALL TIMES in order to determine which decisions are IMPORTANT enough to require CONSCIOUS THOUGHT.

 

Here’s a decision I have to make EVERY MORNING. Usually I just go with my gut instinct but from tomorrow morning I’m going to THINK ABOUT IT. Actually, no, bollocks to waiting for tomorrow – I’LL DO IT NOW. I’LL MAKE A DECISION. NOW.

 

THE QUESTION

Should I have six Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my breakfast?

 

THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS

Could I? – Yes, easily.

Should I? – The grey area – If I DO I might not be hungry enough to eat the eight Cumberland sausage sandwiches I’ve planned to eat at 12.00pm for my dinner. If I DON’T I might be TOO hungry before dinnertime and end up eating the packet of Hobnobs I was saving for this afternoon BEFORE I HAVE MY DINNER.

Would I? – Fuck, yes. But ‘Would I?’ is negated by thoughts that arise from ‘Should I?’ and those thoughts make me feel BAD ABOUT EATING SIX CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES FOR MY BREAKFAST. Why do they make me feel bad? Because they’re loaded with GUILTY FEELINGS. Why are they loaded with guilty feelings? Because they make me FACE THE FACT that if I DO eat six Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my breakfast and then eat EIGHT Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my dinner I’ll have eaten FOURTEEN CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES in total and that’s a lot of Cumberland sausage sandwiches, even for me, and eating FOURTEEN CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES makes me seem like a GREEDY GANNET, which I am but I don’t want people to THINK I am. And the GUILTY FEELINGS make me FACE THE FACT that if I DON’T eat six Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my breakfast, (let’s say I eat FOUR instead), at about 11.00am I’ll eat the packet of Hobnobs I was saving for this afternoon AND THEN I’LL EAT THE EIGHT CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES FOR MY DINNER which means I’ll have eaten TWELVE CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES AND A PACKET OF HOBNOBS which is STILL a lot so I’ll STILL seem like a GREEDY GANNET.  

I can’t win either way. It’s not fair.

 

RESULT OF DECISION MAKING PROCESS

I started my decision at 7.58 am. It’s now 10.55am

TOO LATE TO HAVE MY BREAKFAST.

 

 

So fuck that, I’m not doing decisions any more, they’re too hard and too brutal. I’ll stick to my old floaty ways.

MMMMMM, HOBNOBS! COME TO DOTTY!

 

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62 Comments

  1. I’ve got some Jacob Club Biscuits in the cupboard! Orange and Mint flavoured.

    Reply
  2. “if you like a lot of chocolates on your biscuit, join our club!”
    erm sorry about that dont know what came over me! i am pleased to see your “wordy block” appears to have gone! can you ask Ginger to send me some clubs please :-)

    Reply
  3. Dear Dotty,
    Noting the quantities of Cumberland Sausages you consume, buying shares in the company that makes them would seem an attractive proposition!
    Grumpy x

    Reply
  4. Do they sell cumberland sausage in the states?

    Reply
  5. :) :) :) You don’t have Wordy Block!!!

    Reply
  6. I still haven’t even made a descion about brekkie and here we are at 3.30 so i’ve missed lunch but now thing about supper….

    Reply
  7. Dear Dotty,
    I am totally veering off the subject of decisions:
    #! Thank you for the advice.
    #2 ONe of my friends referred back to my Don’t PUsh That Button post!!! And featured YOU on her blog!!! yippy skippy for the BIG BlOG Collection!!!!!
    #3 Should I have a diet coke? it’s only 9:40.
    Love, Lis
    xoxoox

    Reply
    • Dear Lisa,

      I know, I saw it. :-)

      Yes, have a Diet Coke.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Diet Coke is the perfect morning drink and I have one every morning even before 9:40 a.m.

      • Dear Maggie,

        You, Lisa and I should set up a Diet Coke club. I drink mine neat, no ice cubes to water it down. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,
        I drink mine out of the can or bottle. I don’t like fountain drinks. Can I be the social coordinator of our club. I won’t arrange any outdoor activities.
        love,
        Maggie

      • Dear Maggie,

        What are fountain drinks?

        Yes, you can be the social coordinator. I’ll be the Chief Taster.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,
        Fountain drinks are soda out of a machine, like where you fill the cup with Diet Coke and ice. It’s no good. You never know if it will be flat or too syrupy.

        I just finished my first Diet Coke of the day and it’s not even 11 a.m.

        Love the Olympickles. I would watch the Olympickles.

        Love,
        Maggie

      • Dear Maggie,

        Ah! I don’t like them either. You don’t know when the machine was last cleaned out.

        I’m just about to pour another glassful – it’s been HOT here today and my Diet Coke is lovely and COLD. :-)

        I’ve been watching the Olympickles all my life – when the pie shop opens the local men race to get in first. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

  8. I saw a gannet once soon after it had eaten one cumberland sausage sandwich and three Hobknobs. It landed very heavily and made a hole in the beach.

    Reply
  9. Dorothy

     /  July 26, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    I get such a kick how you can write a post out of the same things I think about (although I eat other things). There are times I just say to myself….”Self, just shut up and eat the potatoes now and have the bread later, even though you’ll be starving in five hours because you’ll be stuck eating Rice Chex then.” Luckily I fill up on lots of coffee and plain water now.
    (Day 7 for me)
    Love Dorothy

    Reply
    • Dear Dorothy,

      I drink coffee in the morning, Diet Coke in the afternoon. :-)

      7 days is fucking brilliant. How are you feeling? :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  10. Dorothy

     /  July 26, 2012

    P.S. Shared your post today on my Facebook.

    Reply
  11. I have just made a decision… oh… wait… no I haven’t… sigh…

    Reply
  12. Dear Dotty,

    I love this post! It is exactly how I go about making decisions: faff about thinking until it is too late to make a decsion anyway. As far as I’m concerned it is the ONLY way to go about decision making, I can’t believe it hasn’t caught on in the general population.

    Love WeeGee

    PS. There are no typos are there? You got over wordy block and I remembered how to use a keyboard. Yay!

    Reply
    • Dear WeeGee,

      I know. If more people went about things the way We Who Are Mental do the world would be a better place. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      P.S. Typos? What are they? ;-)

      Reply
  13. Dear Dotty,
    What are Hobnobs?
    Love,
    Maggie

    Reply
    • Dear Maggie,

      Lovely, oaty, crunchy biscuits. The best lovely, oaty, crunchy biscuits in the world. :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dear Dotty,
        I ran the Google on them and I think I’ve seen those before. They are in specialty markets here.
        Did you eat them?
        Love,
        Maggie

      • Dear Maggie,

        Are they expensive over there?

        Yes, I ate them all. :-)

        Love Dotty xxx

  14. Dear Dotty,
    Besides sausages, what do you put on your sandwiches?
    Love, Peaches

    Reply
  15. Dear Dotty,

    You are single-handedly propping-up the Cumberland Sausage industry, and the Hobnob industry, both of which in this economy need healthy up-propping. I think 14 Cumberland Sausage Sandwiches a day should be regarded as over and above your civic duty to support Britain’s economy! Stay strong, my sister!

    Love.

    Judith 8-)

    Reply
  16. There used to be a program for that on the Spectrum 48/128.
    10 Count sausages
    20 Eat sausages
    30 GOTO 10

    Reply
  17. It’s the weekend, my decision making time… will I stay in bed, drinking coffee, checking out Dotty’s posts, or will I get up & clean something?…… hmmmm, I’m still here. Thnx for that :)

    Reply
    • Dear Ella,

      You’re welcome. :-)

      My motto about cleaning – Don’t bother, you’ll only have to do it all again six months later.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply

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