Shitey Sunday Picture Post – NO
Post about the other day when little Emily came to see me – NO
Up to date with reading your blogs and answering emails - FUCK NO
WHY? Because I’m USELESS. Not just ordinary useless, FUCKING USELESS.
FUCKING USELESS WITH BELLS ON.
BEING MENTAL – the gift that never stops giving.
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on August 19, 2012
http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/08/19/useless-dotty-strikes-again/
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
MY NEW BLOG. GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I don't do television or face-to-face interviews. I might do pre-booked telephone interviews but only if you can pay me in the Queen's precious coin. No Euros, no Dollars, and definitely no plastic cards with spying-for-the-government computer chips in them.
All enquiries to:
dottyheadbanger AT gmail.com
Paparazzi - Don't camp outside my house again or I'll set my 12 Rottweilers on you. Dotty's Rotty's will EAT YOUR FACE.
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
EAT ME, EAT ME!
Anne
/ August 19, 2012Dear Dotty,
Never ever ever think that you’re useless. You’re allowed to be human and fall behind now and then.
And we’ll still love you, you silly Cumberland-sausage loving thing, you!
Take a break, what the hell! – the sun is shining, and life’s too short too waste on worrying about missed posts.
xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 19, 2012Dear Anne banana,
Thank you for being nice to me. I fall behind every week. I still hadn’t caught up from LAST week when I had another BIG MENTAL BLIP and now I’m even further behind.
She-hermits don’t like it when the sun is shining. It makes the Hermititis UNFUCKINGBEARABLE. At least in winter I can pretend I don’t want to go out.
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ August 19, 2012Dotty, there is no way you are useless. I have seen people who are useless, and they are far, far, FAR worse than you.
You have taken a break, that is all
judithatwood
/ August 19, 2012Dear Dotty,
As one of your readers who posts way too-fucking-much, you never have to stress about reading mine. Believe me, I am getting more out of them than anyone, and I’d be writing if I didn’t have any readers. And you’re not useless — I need you! Every day’s a crazy day with Dotty — I love how you write, and what you write about.
Missus Tribble
/ August 19, 2012Dear Dotty,
Please never stop being mental, because we all love you just the way you are.
Love, Missus Tribble xxx
the howler and me
/ August 19, 2012Dear Dotty,
You aren’t useless, you just need some down time.
Love,
-the howler and me
prewitt1970
/ August 19, 2012Not useless. If you were a razor at a covention of bald men then maybe. Alittle broken, but who’s not especially coming from me
Xo. Benjamin
Christopher De Voss
/ August 19, 2012Have you ever had a cumberland sausage pizza?
Grumpy
/ August 19, 2012Dear Darling Dotty,
It’s not a binding daily duty for you to answer emails, or read posts, or even make a post.
K’nell, if I were to do that I’d be on the laptop 24 hours a day 7 days a week!
Fuck ‘em.
Love yah
Grumpy x
ziggyshortcrust
/ August 19, 2012Dear Dotty,
No-one is useless, especially you. And anyway, I can’t now eat a Cumberland Sausage, or see the letter “O” without thinking of you, posts or no posts.
Love Ziggy xxx
Kathy V.
/ August 19, 2012Dotty,
You’re not useless! You can fly! And also, you can make me laugh when I feel shitey. So you are very useful.
We will still love you even if you don’t manage to put up a picture. I would post one here for you, but I can’t figure out how to put a picture in a comment.
Love,
Kathy
jmlindy422
/ August 19, 2012Been there. Hope you’re not there for long. Sucks being there too long.
kzackuslheureux
/ August 19, 2012Dear Dotty, That’s why we love you so…. for you being mental.
Love, Alphabet
misslisted
/ August 19, 2012Hi dotty, “fucking useless with bells on” couldn’t be a better phrase to describe my current condition. Thank you for helping me find words because otherwise I couldn’t be bothered.
pouringmyartout
/ August 19, 2012We just want you to feel better, love. So you can spend lots of time being mental… and reading my novel… right, people? Are you with me?
Grumpy
/ August 20, 2012Yes!
pouringmyartout
/ August 20, 2012See? We have a concensus… or a consensus… however you spell it.
faithhopechocolate
/ August 19, 2012Sending love and tea & sympathy. And maybe even a cumberland sausage. Or six.
I think we might just cope without the SSPP (TM) this week. If you’ve had a (as a former co-worker of mine used to say) day like a night (or even a whole week of days like that) then you need to do something to make yourself feel better. Eat some cumberland sausage sandwiches. Talk to your brick. Take some laudanum. Fly. Whatever floats your boat at a particular time. We, the strange people who inhabit your computer, are not likely to run away because you missed one tiny little SSPP (TM). And any who do run away because you missed one tiny little SSPP (TM) is clearly a) not worth bothering with and b) one of the so-called sane people who makes you think you’re mental when really it’s them who are mental.
Madame Weebles
/ August 19, 2012Dear Dotty,
It’s overcast here. I’ll send you some of it.
xoxo Mme Weebles
Seb
/ August 19, 2012Do the bells help?
Carr Party of Five
/ August 20, 2012Dear Dotty,
Hugs
and
and
DietCoke
Love, Lis
xoxox
EllaDee
/ August 20, 2012Don’t feel bad, or you’ll make me feel bad too
Speaking for myself, I can get [at least] a week behind, kid myself into deleting second-tier follows by thinking “I’ll catch up on Reader”, and all is well. I have a scribbled list of to-be-done post ideas, and feed the beast by doing quick posts on elladee_images and places. I think of my WordPress buddies like I do my ageless, timeless girlfriends, if we don’t catch up for a while, life is busy, no hard feelings, and when we do, it’s like no time has passed 
paralaxvu
/ August 20, 2012You are NOT fucking useless. Fucking useless is Paul Ryan, inside or out. Fucking useless is Paul Ryan…oh, I already said that. Anyway, YOU are NOT fucking useless. You have always brought me a smile or a snarky thought, and that is very useful, my dear.
Claudia
/ August 20, 2012Dotty,
I think you’re pretty awesome. You’re not useless. You’re human. You have 27 likes in this one post. That doesn’t seem useless to me. You’re useful to many bloggers. Have a hopeful week.
You know, I went to the grocery store today and saw some sticky notes. I remembered your sticky note post.
Claudia
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 20, 2012Dear Mondrak, Judith, Missus Tribble, the howler and me, Benjamin, Chris, Grumpy, Ziggy, Kathy, jm, Alphabet, misslisted, pmao, fhc, Mme Weebles, Seb, Lisa, Ella, paralaxvu, Claudia,
Thank you.
I love you.
Love Dotty xxx
livinginfairyland
/ August 20, 2012I don’t give a fuck if you visit my blog. I’ll still love you!