Okay, so today I came online and discovered I had passed 500 followers – 502 (thank you!) and today another two people have clicked follow (thank you!). So just now I thought okay, I’ll go to my widget thingy and click ‘Show Followers’ on the Join thingy on my sidebar and I did that and it says I have 536 followers!!! That’s THIRTY TWO GHOST FOLLOWERS WHO DON’T APPEAR IN MY STATS. Look —
This is on my stats page —
Site Stats » My Followers (504)
- WordPress.com Followers (496) |
- Email Followers (8)
and this is on my email sign up thing where you can show how many followers you have –
THE CULT OF DOTTY WELCOMES YOU INTO THE FOLD. LEAVE ALL YOUR CASH IN THE BOX ON THE WALL. I NEED IT TO FEED YOU AND TO BUY THINGS FOR ME.
Join 536 other followers
WHO ARE THE 32?
HAVE THEY COME THROUGH MY OUIJA BOARD?
WILL THEY EAT ME?
I’M SCARED.
EDIT EDIT EDIT — I know who THE 32 are – they’re from FACEBOOK! They’re counted in the WIDGET but they’re not counted in the STATS! Fucking stupid.
I found out because I had a look on the support forum and this is what it says –
Show total number of followers – When checked, the widget will display the total number of followers, which is the sum of:
- WordPress.com users following your blog
- Any followers from connected Publicize services (Facebook and Twitter)
Note: This doesn’t include blog post (comment) followers.
I’m still scared.
I rarely go on Facebook, I don’t like it.
What does it WANT?
faithhopechocolate
/ August 28, 2012They can’t eat you. To eat you, they’d have to get into your house, and I have a feeling that due to your people-phobia and hermititis, your house is like fort knox.
But it is a bit creepy to know you’re being followed by ghosties. I hope it’s nothing to do with the tramp in your attic…
Xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 28, 2012Dear fhc,
If they can get into my internet they might be in my house. And I think you’re right about the tramp – it might be HIM – I was saying to Mr Silva in the other post, I have reason to suspect he’s a RUNAWAY DEMON. And this is another reason. More demons. Or trolls. THEY’LL EAT ME.
Love Dotty xxx
Sterling Silva
/ August 28, 2012I’m on my way. But whatever you do, DO NOT LET ME IN! It might not actually be me.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 28, 2012Dear Mr Silva,
Don’t worry, I won’t let you in. To get to the DEMON TRAMP you’ll ahve to go upstairs and turn right, then look up and you’ll see the loft hatch – he’s up there! Thank you for coming to my rescue! KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM for me.
Love Dotty xxx
Sterling Silva
/ August 28, 2012Ms. Headbanger,
I shall. With fire and steel. Most demons are porcine in appearance and nature. Have you ever had a Cumberland sausage made from demon flesh?
-S.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 28, 2012Dear Mr Silva,
Not usually, but Asda had pig-demon Cumberland sausages on Buy One Get One Free last week… 89% meat (I never buy lower than 80% meat, I don’t want SNOUT in my dinner).
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ August 28, 2012How weirdly weird in the weirdest sense of weirdness. That is weird
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 28, 2012Dear Mondrak,
It’s not only weird, it’s FUCKING WEIRD!
Love Dotty xxx
The Depressed Moose
/ August 28, 2012thats an amazing number of followers well done you! love the jealous moose
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 28, 2012Dear Garry,
Thank you, but some of them are GHOSTS!!! I don’t know where they’ve come from or what they’re going to do!
Love Dotty xxx
Madame Weebles
/ August 28, 2012Dear Dotty,
Be careful they don’t eat your sausages!
xoxo Mme Weebles
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 28, 2012Dear Mme Weebles,
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!
Love Dotty xxx
WeeGee
/ August 28, 2012Dear Dotty,
I’m a WeeGee follower….. Boom boom
WeeGee xxx
WeeGee
/ August 28, 2012…. as in ouija, weegee….. sorry dotty :-/
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear WeeGee,
That was quite good actually. 
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ August 28, 2012Dear Dotty,
Congratulations on going over 500. I’m happy so many people have found you!
Love,
Judith
XOXOXO
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Judith,
Thank you. I’ve been doing the blog for almost nine months – it amazes me when I see a blog that’s been going for a few weeks and it’s got hundreds and hundereds of followers. I don’t know how they do it.
Love Dotty xxx
prewitt1970
/ August 29, 2012They may eat you…… Most likely not though, but one should keep a fine magic eraser close at hand just in case. Just remember “don’t cross the streams.”, be well. Benjamin
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Benjamin,
I don’t have a magic eraser. Will a dayglo green highlighter pen do instead?
Love Dotty xxx
Victor Tookes
/ August 29, 2012They’re after your Cumberland sausages.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Victor,
Don’t be mean. You’re scaring me even more.
Love Dotty xxx
the howler and me
/ August 29, 2012Facebook just wants to try and take over your life….
Be strong Dotty! Don’t let them do it!
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear the howler and me,
Don’t worry, I won’t. I don’t know how to work it properly and I can’t be arsed with it anyway.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ August 29, 2012It tells you right up front what it wants. It is a book that wants to eat your face. And nobody deserves deceased followers more than you, since you undoubtedly killed most of them yourself.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear pmao,
I didn’t kill them! I didn’t!
HOW MANY FOLLOWERS READING THIS ARE DEAD?
IF YOU THINK I KILLED YOU, COMMENT HERE AND PMAO WILL DEAL WITH YOUR COMPLAINT.
Love Dotty xxx
John the Aussie
/ August 29, 2012Dotty,
Quick, go Google “Exorcisms on cyber ghosts” and rid the nasty spectrey followers.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear John,
I found it! It says BLOW UP FACEBOOK!
Love Dotty xxx
habibadanyal
/ August 29, 2012LOL. Dotty!
Scared of facebook? some one as tough as you!
Love,
Habiba.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Habiba,
Yes — it’s full of PEOPLE!
Love Dotty xxx
habibadanyal
/ August 30, 2012Dear Dotty,
oh yes and you have peoplephobia.
Love,
Habiba.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 30, 2012Dear Habiba,
I do.
Love Dotty xxx
Anonymous
/ August 29, 2012Dear Dotty,
Hello I haven’t been on for a few days.
How can you fit anything else on your side bar thingy thing? Your Sidebar is full. Also if you put my photo up it means I’ll have to get my hair done. It needs a good cut. Your followers aren’t ready to see me today. The World isn’t ready. I am doomed!!!
Oops! I just realised I changed my avatar…Go ahead then Dotty. Can you squeeze me in above Jemima? Like W-A-Y above. I’m still scared of her.
*Note to wordpress…If Dotty has all this room will the site be hers? I think it should be. She will work wonders. She’s good she is.
Love from Christine. Have a Dotty Good Day xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Christine,
Don’t worry, I can fit LOADS MORE on my sidebar.
Your photo isn’t a photo of you any more, it looks like a bar on a hospital machine. And your name doesn’t say Christine, it says ANONYMOUS — oh no – are you one of the GHOSTS pretending to be Christine so you can spy for all the other ghosts?
Love Dotty xxx
Chris.
/ August 30, 2012Dear Dotty,
It IS me. I’m not a ghost. I Have changed my avatary thingy and shortened my name too. reckless me! How can I prove it? Remember that secret we have? The one I’ve only told you? You know the one. See it IS me. Christine from random thoughts Christine. I would be rubbish at spying and I know ghosts like me but I wouldn’t tell them anything you wouldn’t want them to know Dotty. Never. I’m not anonymous am I? Oh what’s happening to me? I’m fading away from people’s memories and I can’t prove who I am. Help me!
….
Andy Murray. We had a conversation about Andy. We wanted him to win Wimbledon but the silly man came second. He won a gold medal though. See Dotty, it IS me.
Anyway, I’m glad you have room for more bits. I’ve had my hair done now so all’s cushty.
I’ve got to go now.
Psst! Shhh… Dotty, I’m your only hope. Listen to nobody else. They’re all in it together. All those people above. Pretend nothing has happened.
Love from Christine. I have a penny now.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 30, 2012Dear Christine,
Ah, yes, it IS you. I believe you now – I can see your name and your life support avatar, you’re not Anonymous any more.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Sorry for doubting you yesterday but you can never be too careful or too paranoid, especially where ghosts are involved.
joehoover
/ August 29, 2012I was thrown when I linked to Facebook, now I wonder about people who have thousands of followers as if they are like some of my friends who have thousands of Facebook followers then it’s cheating. I always berate them for having thousands of Facebook friends anyway as they are not real friends otherwise you’d spend about £4000 a year on birthday cards
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Joe,
I don’t get it – it’s saying 32 access my blog through Facebook but I have 36 friends on Facebook so it can’t just be counting them all, can it? Does it count all yours? And I agree, it’s cheating. I’ve unticked that widget now, it’s telling me lies, I’m not going to listen to it any more.
Love Dotty xxx
joehoover
/ August 30, 2012The plot thickens!
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 30, 2012Dear joe,
Hmm. Where’s my deerstalker?
Love Dotty xxx
poetmcgonagall
/ August 29, 2012Facebook just wants to be your fiend, no, sorry, I meant friend.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear poet,
I don’t like it.
Love Dotty xxx
poetmcgonagall
/ August 29, 2012Neither do I.
Threec
/ August 29, 2012Ghost followers are better than those insincere spammers who try to flatter you with their generic compliments in poorly worded English. I’ll take my chances with the spooky spirits (and the stats that come with them) anyday.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Threec,
Actually, you’re right – at least my ghosts don’t try to sell me aeroplanes and banana muffins and make me look at sites with mucky women on them.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy
/ August 29, 2012Facebook wants to steal your sausages! Beware!
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Brick,
GET OFF MY CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES, FUCKERBERG AND FRIENDS.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy
/ August 29, 2012LOL, hmm, I might be in trouble, I think i’m one of those Facebook likers of yours LOL
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 29, 2012Dear Brick,
You… you… you… Friend of Fuckerberg.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy
/ August 29, 2012Nope, I no friends with him, I’m friends with DamnDotty
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 30, 2012Dear Brick,
Phew! I thought you’d gone over to the dark side.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy
/ August 31, 2012I would never pick him over you!
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 1, 2012Dear Brick,
Thank you, that’s very nice of you.
Love Dotty xxx
Angel Fractured
/ August 30, 2012If someone follows on both Facebook and WordPress, is that person counted twice? I wonder . . .
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 30, 2012Dear Angel,
I don’t know. I didn’t realise the Facebook ones are counted in the widget until I read it on a WordPress thingy!!
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ August 30, 2012Well, if the beasties haven’t showed themselves there they certainly are here. I’m starting to get afraid of the night time again and that hasn’t happened in a few years. Unfortunately I broke out the bottle again but I tried my best and will try again. I’m disappointed in myself but only human. Life is hard now, isn’t it?
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 30, 2012Dear Dorothy,
It is, very. But one slip does not an avalanche make, so don’t beat yourself up about the bottle.
Love Dotty xxx
Cakes and Shakes...
/ September 9, 2012Wow, lucky you, so many followers! How long have you been blogging for?
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 10, 2012Dear Cakes,
Almost every day for nine months so it’s taken a fair bit of time to gain so many followers, it’s not an overnight thing like the Freshly Pressed people (I swear too much to be Freshly Pressed).
Love Dotty xxx
Cakes and Shakes...
/ September 10, 2012I, too, swear way too much to ever qualify for Freshly Pressed, those prejudiced bastards!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 10, 2012Dear Cakes,
They don’t even add my posts to the Topics thingy in the Reader. I’m like a little blight on their niceness.
Love Dotty xxx
Cakes and Shakes...
/ September 10, 2012Wow! That’s cold, man.