RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT – And More RANT

 

I’ve been calm lately, haven’t I? Calm like a calm thing, all sweetness and light and peace and serenity like a zen buddha’s comfortable old ARSE. Politeness personified.

 Nice Dotty.

Mild Dotty.

TAME Dotty.

 

And then yesterday some IGNORANT FUCKER OF A SO-CALLED PROFESSIONAL HAS TO GO AND SPOIL IT ALL. AND INSTEAD OF BATTERING THE BASTARD WHO NEEDED BATTERING, I ENDED UP BATTERING THE FUCK OUT OF MY LITTLE TELLY TO MAKE THAT SMUG DIRTY BASTARD DER FUHRER CAMERON’S FACE (SPIT SPIT SPIT) GO AWAY.

Yesterday I waited THREE AND A HALF HOURS for a phone call – can you imagine what state I was in by the time the phone finally rang? I’ll tell you, NOT A FUCKING GOOD ONE – panic attacks BEFORE the due time of the call, panic attacks WHEN THE CALL DIDN’T COME, panic attacks in the THREE AND A HALF HOURS until the call DID come. And in between the panic attacks was the VOMITING and the FRUSTRATION – a nasty, pacey, shouty frustration that turned into A MURDEROUS FUCKING RAGE but no one was here for me to murder so when I saw that BASTARD OF A NAZI WANNABE (SPIT SPIT SPIT) on the news I SNAPPED and I picked up the first thing to hand (my brass candlestick) and I MURDERED MY LITTLE TELLY and I HALF MURDERED MY NICE CHAIR and I KICKED THE FUCK OUT OF MY NICE SETTEE and I BROKE THE GLASS CABINET my stuffed owl, Bartholomew, lived in and DIBBLE came banging on the door but the wankers couldn’t TOUCH ME because I have IMMUNITY FROM THE POLICE (I can’t be arsed doing a link so you’ll have to do a search for DIBBLE in my search box if you want to know how I got IMMUNITY FROM THE POLICE). Dibble fucked off sharpish after I’d put in a HARASSMENT COMPLAINT against the NOSEY TWATTING ARSEWIPES NEXT DOOR who’d reported me – AGAIN. Don’t fuck with Dotty, NEIGHBOURS, or you’ll come off worse, everyone does.

I’m sick of it. SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK of it. No wonder this country’s going to SHITE.

Why do PROFESSIONALS always make people wait? Why do they have no concept of PUNCTUALITY? Why do they TREAT PEOPLE LIKE TWATS? It doesn’t matter what profession they’re in, they’re all the same – FUCKING RUDE, DISCOURTEOUS, BAD-MANNERED SKANKS who think their time is more important than anything else. And when they’ve made you wait they expect you to be GRATEFUL they deigned to deal with you at all.

I’m not happy today. Not happy at all.

 

 

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33 Comments

  1. bpshielsy

     /  September 11, 2012

    Yes but Andy WON :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

    Reply
  2. Great rant Dotty! I hope at least it’s made you feel just a bit better,

    Reply
  3. Because they are complete arsewank twats with cocksucking left feet and jizz producing spunk eyes

    Reply
    • Dear Mondrak,

      Thank you, that’s the best present I’ve had all year – a new swear word. I’m going to use it next time I have to speak to one of them.
      ‘Hello, is that Dotty Headbanger?’
      ‘Yes. Is that ARSEWANK?
      :-)

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  4. prewitt1970

     /  September 11, 2012

    I’m very sorry your not happy today, not fun, I agree waiting for anyone is not great especially people that get paid to be on time. I’m pretty sure I’ve become patient #4 to some of my doctors kinda sucks to not get the respect you deserve. Best wishes.

    Reply
  5. Dearest Dotty

    “Better out than in…”

    Morecombe and Wise used to end their shows with the same risque joke, but the prog always finished before the punchline. In the interest of historical accuracy I’ll reproduce it here.

    Ernie Wise: “It’s nice out…”
    Eric Morcombe: “But it’s much nicer in…”

    In or out, I remain your humble servant

    D xx

    Reply
  6. Dearest Dotty

    In the interests of balance: I went to an Atos interview a couple of weeks ago and they kept me waiting in the shitty waiting room for over an hour. Eventually a ‘nurse’ arrived and called out my name. “Sorry you had to wait,” she lied. I asked why this was and she said, “We’re busy…” “Nothing to do with your policy of inviting more folk than you can cope with then as I read in the Guardian?” said I. She just frowned. During the ‘examination’ it turned out she didn’t even know of my condition and worse, didn’t know the names of the common joints of the body!
    Conversely, my GP has rung me four times in recent weeks and has always been perfectly punctual.

    Early or late, I remain your humble servant

    D xx

    Reply
    • Dear Dave,

      Prepare yourself for an appeal. I don’t mean to be negative but if she didn’t even know of your condition how the fuck can she give an educated opinion on how it affects you? Ask for a copy of the report.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dearest Dotty

        Your crystal ball shines exceedingly bright – I’ve started the appeal – she said I was fine :)

        When I asked her how she didn’t know things like ‘carpal joint’ and ‘interphalangeal’ she said, “I’m not that kind of a nurse…” :)

        I’ve got her name to report her to her professional body.

        I remain, useless to man and beast, but your humble servant

        D xx

      • Dear Dave,

        So what kind of nurse was she? It beggars belief.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • Dearest Dotty

        My thoughts exactly. A crappy one is probably the answer.

        Your incredulous servant

        D xx

  7. Dear Dotty,

    You have the greatest rants on WP — every time! I hope it helped you to focus the anger on the professional arsewank and not your poor telly!

    Love you,

    Judith

    Reply
  8. Do they have anger management classes in the UK?

    Reply
  9. Dear Dotty,

    It drives me crazy when they keep you waiting. It’s so disrespectful. They’re self-important dickwads who need to be bitch-slapped repeatedly.

    I wish I could make you a Cumberland sausage sandwich and a cuppa to make you feel better.

    xoxo Mme Weebles

    Reply
  10. Congratulations on a A+ rant, although I’m a little sad to hear about your things esp Bartholomew’s house. You are so correct, the world is awry. The people who receive calls, etc are Clients and once upon a time, the Client was “always right”,”God”… and so on, everyone organisation had training on how to win and keep Clients happy. Now, the tables are turned, and “service providers” – is that an oxymoron? – of all kinds can get away with just about anything because they’ve worked their way into a position of power and we need them. Client’s not happy now?, too bad, we’ll have a tea break. Bastards. Hope today is better for you…

    Reply
  11. kzackuslheureux

     /  September 14, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    You Sound like me when I’m watching people like Harper and Romney (spit, spit, spit). Or even my daily average rants at nothing… well traffic, the city, the stupid fuckers in the city…
    I remember when I a nice, happy person. Really, it wasn’t that long ago… Then a few years back I turned 28, and it’s been a down hill fuck-off fest from there.
    Loves Always,
    Alphabet

    Reply

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