I’ve spent all day rapid cycling round the Wii Sports Island. Except I don’t have a Wii exercise bike because they cost £100 so I just stomp on the Wii Fit board thingy and hold onto the control like it’s a set of handlebars. I don’t like going into the town because I keep crashing into the walls and one of these days I’m going to go head first over the handlebars and knock my eye out on the corner of the coffee table. I don’t like those scabby little animals either – Wii should make it possible for me to move my legs to the side so I can give the mangy rats a swift kick when they’re annoying me.
I kept going till the batteries went dead.