If anyone got a post in their email that isn’t here now it’s because it was a PICTURE POST that I made for meine Mami for HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY with some lovely pictures and captions and it was lovely and it was FUCKING BRILLIANT – but it SHAGGED MY LITTLE BLOG RIGHT UP because I can’t do pictures. So I’ve made a little rhyme instead —
A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY RHYME FOR MEINE MAMI
Where have you gone, meine Mami?
It’s been years since we last had a hug,
since then my brain has gone gammy –
it’s all manky and skanky with fug.
I miss your old legs, meine Mami,
and the fun and the laughs of our games
with the butter and mayo and jammy
that we spread on your varicose veins;
and your laugh, like a crying old donkey
with its tail trapped in somebody’s door;
and your eyes, even though they are wonky
and as grey as the dust on my floor.
Please, please come home, meine Mami,
your absence is harder than stone
and it hits with a quadruple whammy
each hour when I’m sitting alone.
Meine Mami, I miss and I love you
so much that it makes me feel sick;
when you want to come home I’ll be waiting
with a Cumberland sausage sandwich and a plate of McCain’s Chippy Chips and a packet of Hobnobs and a BRAND NEW BRICK.