Why have I only had three answers to my competition? Why have 74 people looked at it and only THREE PEOPLE bothered to do an answer? Why? Why? Why? Do you HATE ME that much? Am I so horrible and nasty to you that you don’t want to be my SUPREME PET FOR THE DAY?


These are the people who I LOVE MOST now —

DeeDee — whose answer is a Cumberland sausage wrapped in butcher paper

John (& Victor Tookes) — whose answer is Jean Luc Picard’s underwear

pmao — whose answer is himself (he said ‘me’, but if I wrote ‘me’ you’d think I meant ME)



I even did a nice picture for you to look at.

You’ve all made me sad and upset and I’m crying and I’ve had two panic attacks writing this post and YOU HATE ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME and I need a lie down and a little sleep.

Goodnight, cruel, cruel people.

If blogs had shins you’d all kick the fuck out of mine.





Leave a comment


  1. For the record, there were technically two answers from John and I, the other being “An albino tree sloth at the event horizon of a black hole” It just wasn’t as funny as Captain Picard’s underwear.

    • Dear Victor,

      Technically there was only one answer, John stated he was going with the underwear. If you’d like to enter the ‘albino tree sloth at the event horizon of a black hole’ you’re welcome to do so by adding it to the other post.

      Love Dotty xxx

      P.S. Thank you for not hating me.

  2. Well, my bad, I guess I am shin kicker. Although, I read the post with no coffee in my system and no sleep and started to daydream about a massive shoe car.

  3. Dear Dotty,

    I LOVE, not hate, you.


    • Dear owl,

      Thank you – I listened to it, I love it and I’m going to try and see if it will go on without shagging up the blog but if it doesn’t I’ll have to take it out.

      Love Dotty xxx

  4. I would have entered the competition but I only just read your post now! Is it too late?

    I don’t think I can top Jean-Luc Picard’s underwear as an answer. How about ionized whipped cream?

    xoxo Mme Weebles

  5. GAH! I only just now pulled my head out of my ass long enough to look around. I’ll play!

  6. I guess I haven’t had a chance to read it yet. Stayed tuned.

  7. Dear Dotty,
    I know it’s no excuse, but I was actually dying this time. Is it too late to play? Did you already pick a winner?
    Poorly Hello Sailor

    • Dear HS,

      Oh dear, what’s the matter? Flu? It’s going round up here. Hope you feel better soon.
      No, it’s not too late to play, I’m going to post the answers tomorrow.

      Love Dotty xxx

  8. free penny press

     /  April 11, 2012

    Oh Dotty.. I’m new here so allow me to answer late..
    Hmm, a nun that got kicked out of the vatican because she was showing the new pope-ettes a few moves??
    (PS- I never win @ guessing games)

  9. Dear Dotty,

    I’m sorry I didn’t follow through. Got a call from Mom last night with some scary news about her health, and I just dropped everything. We’re still waiting for test results right now. As for your riddle, since I’m from Maine, I may be the only one who knows what I mean, but white and faster than light is the creme filling of a whoopie pie after you take the first bite — SPLAT!

    • Dear Judith,

      I’ll keep my fingers crossed for good news on the tests. Hope you’re okay.

      I saw a recipe for Whoopie Pie the other day. They look nice.

      Loads of love, Dotty xxx

  10. clownonfire

     /  April 11, 2012

    Le Clown

  11. The underwear is the best answer in the history of answers.
    Mine was the worst, because I do not really have super powers.
    I still want to be your supreme pet, and I am not above moping and whining and begging.
    I ate week-old Mexican food left over from my Birthday, and do not feel well, and I still managed to come up with a lame answer.
    It is a hard question.
    Is it a real science thing or a test of our cleverness?

  12. You are on Brit time. I read your post at 5am my time. I am too woozy to give an intelligent response. I meant to come back to it tonight, but geez, now I forgot what the question was. And you bawled us out, to boot. Let me go revisit it now that I am woozy with a full day under my belt…damn.

  13. I cheated and tried googling the answer, I didn;t know we had to make something random up 😦 I missed the point


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