Dotty Film Review – Coraline

NASTY, NASTY FILM

What a nasty, creepy little film this is. I like creepy animated films – Tim Burton is brilliant – but this film is not only nasty and creepy, it’s nastily creepy and creepily nasty – it’s fucking HORRIBLE and I don’t mean a good horrible like a good horrible horror film can be, I mean HORRIBLE HORRIBLE like something a psycho sicked up and left to fester.

And it’s for CHILDREN. It’s meant for CHILDREN.

Unbelievable.

DON’T LET YOUR KIDS WATCH IT, MOTHERS or they’ll end up severely traumatised and disturbed and THEY WILL HATE AND FEAR AND MISTRUST YOU FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

I can’t see the point of the film – there IS no point unless it’s a sadistic one aimed at fucking up the minds of children (and adults). It looks to me like whoever made it is a MOTHER-HATING, CHILD-HATING MISOGYNISTIC SICK FUCK.

HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE HORRIBLE.

French and Saunders – shame on you.

 

Score  –   minus 500 out of 10

 

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46 Comments

  1. Missus Tribble

     /  May 5, 2012

    This does not sound good. What you need is an antidote to this foulness and I prescribe How To Train Your Dragon – because it’s cute and dragons are awesome and David Tennant is in it.

    Reply
    • Dear Missus Tribble,

      Thank you, I love dragon films and I don’t mind having a little gawp at David either. I’ll look out for it. 🙂

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  2. Dear Dotty,

    Now, I know better than to see this — thanks for the warning!

    Love Judith

    Reply
  3. Children love scary gory stuff. And “Coraline” was not horrible, to my opinion, just kind of mediocre.

    Reply
    • Dear rimptm,

      Yes, I know children love that sort of thing but this one is different – it’s a brutal psychological nightmare without any point to it.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  4. the howler and me

     /  May 5, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    While I have never seen the movie, I did read the book. I would never read the book to a child… it is quite creepy and YES the lil rug rat would never EVER trust their parents again after had heard this story.

    I love Neil Gaiman – I have read all of his books…. but I don’t recommend any of them for children.

    Love,
    -the howler and me

    Reply
    • Dear the howler and me,

      I don’t understand WHY it was made into a children’s film in the first place.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  5. That movie gave me nightmares, horrible!

    Reply
  6. Grumpy

     /  May 5, 2012

    Dear Dotty
    Having just watched the trailer I agree with you.
    The graphics are amazing, but the material is NOT suitable for children.
    Grumpy x

    Reply
    • Dear Grumpy,

      I’ve no complaints about the graphics, I’m just flummoxed as to why it was given a PG.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  7. Thanks for the heads up. I only let my children watch WW2 documentaries and World’s Dumbest Criminals anyway.

    Reply
    • Dear chris,

      I’ve said before that I’d let THE BERSERKERS watch Dexter – I was only joking then but if it came to a choice between Dexter and this sick little film I’d go for Dexter every time.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  8. If you only drink sweet syrup you’ll ruin your taste buds for bitter chocolate. See more films for children to appreciate how dark they are. Like “Bambi”. Pretty dark.

    Reply
    • Dear rimptm,

      This has nothing to do with ‘darkness.’ Children have ALWAYS been told dark stories. If you’ve ever read any original fairy tales you’ll see how gruesome and awful some of them are. But (like Bambi) they each give a lesson in universal truths and knowledge through symbols and metaphor. Children understand myth, they understand STORY – they understand the morals of all of these gory tales and an instinctive part of them knows they are being taught how to handle life and death. What’s different about Coraline is that there is NO moral to the story, no lesson being given apart from a token attempt at saying ‘the grass isn’t always greener.’

      Love Dotty xxx

      P.S. If someone could explain the point of the film to me, I’ll be happy to rethink my opinion of it. Until then, I’ll keep to my thoughts of it being a psychological slasher aimed at kids.

      Reply
  9. Dorothy

     /  May 5, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    I love your scoring system! I, too, have never seen this movie. Thankfully my daughters have grown out of that movie genre not that I would have watched it with them anyway. That was my husband’s cup of tea. He could watch anything. I watch, tops, three movies a year. I just saw the ‘Iron Lady’ and enjoyed it from an outsiders perspective.
    Love Dorothy

    Reply
    • Dear Dorothy,

      I haven’t seen the Iron Lady – I had enough of her when I was growing up, and we’ve all been living with her legacies ever since. She was just like the other mother in Coraline, a monstrous destroyer.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • Dorothy

         /  May 5, 2012

        LOL!!! Like I said…I viewed it from an outsider’s perspective. Now I want to watch Coraline to see what the other mother was like!! LOL

      • Dear Dorothy,

        You’ve been warned. If you do watch it, come back and tell me what you think.

        Love Dotty xxx

  10. Carr Party of Five

     /  May 5, 2012

    Corpse bride…totally awesome. Coraline: Silence of the Lambs by Tim Burton. Gah! Yes…I accidently got it for my littles. Yes..I suck as a parent. I’ve just added $20 to their therapy piggy bank. It’s the least I can do*:) Lis

    Reply
  11. Now I HAVE to see it.

    Reply
  12. So you wouldn’t recommend it then…grins

    Reply
  13. the book was great. the movie – eh. problem often is that the original book isn’t long enough for a movie, and they have to add stuff, but the stuff just doesn’t work and ruins it. the guy who wrote the book also wrote another fun book called “the graveyard book.” that’s about to be made into a movie as well. equally dark. can’t wait to see it.

    Reply
    • Dear rich,

      Hmmm. I’ll have to see if I can get hold of the book.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
      • KC

         /  May 8, 2012

        Seriously do…and if you’ve ever actually -read- The Jungle Book, the actual for real full-length Kipling version…(don’t even get me started on -that- particular Mouse-tastrophy… >;< ) you -have- to read The Graveyard Book. It totally riffs off of the JB…only with a nifty ghoulish/ghosty theme instead. Also, I sadly have to agree with you about Coraline. Awesome-awesome-awesome book, and totally something I would have read when I was a kid (Me? Nutcase from birth? Naaahhh.) if it'd been around then (none of that damned GooseBumps crap for little me…I was all about Poe, and King, and Clive Barker)…and it could have been an awesome movie as well…without TB throwing-up all over it. I love the man, don't get me wrong…but it's like TGJW (The Great Joss Whedon, for the uninitiated) or Mr. Miyazaki the anime god…awesome-times-forever, but you go expecting to see exactly what you expect to see. Does that make sense? Or is it just sleep-dep talking? Either way, if you -haven't- read the JB…whyinhell not??? Go do it! Right now!

      • Dear KC,

        Okay, okay, I’ll read it – soon. I can’t concentrate on books right now but I have it and I will read it because I know I read it years and years ago but I can’t remember it.

        Love Dotty xxx

  14. Dear Dotty,
    I remember seeing a trailer for the movie and thinking, WTF, this is a kids’ movie? I thought it seemed a little over the top for something specifically designated as a children’s film. So thank you for confirming my suspicions.

    xoxo Mme Weebles

    Reply
    • Dear Mme Weebles,

      You’re welcome. If it had been made for adults I wouldn’t have been so horrified.

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply
  15. Did you just perform a useful public service?

    Reply
  16. It’s a shame you are so on the fence about this movie….

    Reply
  17. DEAR Dotty,
    I have to agree, although I dreamed up the film before Tim Burton stole it from my head. I guess that explains why me and mouse are so fuckin twisted.
    *le sad mouse whimper*

    Reply
    • Dear PAZ,

      I find that – I think of a story that no one has ever done before and either while I’m writing it, or before I get to it, some other fucker does it. The collective consciousness?

      Love Dotty xxx

      Reply

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