Cumberland Sausages. Did you know I love them?
I can spell my favourite words with them.
I can watch them live free in the wild fields of Cumberland.
and seeing as it’s Sunday, I can appreciate their spiritual beliefs.
I love my Cumberland sausages. I want them to be perfect
so I applied for this job and got it –
Hip hip hooray
A Cumberland sausage a day
Will keep the mentals away
Oh happy happy day
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on May 27, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/05/27/shitey-sunday-sausage-picture-post/
GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
EAT ME, EAT ME!
magicallymad
/ May 27, 2012Dear Dotty,
I am so proud of you for gaining the lauded position of Inspector of your favorite thing on the planet (aside from me & your other acolytes). Congratulations, and thank you for making me piss myself laughing.
Love,
Magic
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Magic,
You’re very welcome. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
John Phillips
/ May 27, 2012Sausage Llama, funny. Is that where Cumberlands come from?
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear John,
Yes. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
John Phillips
/ May 27, 2012Another mystery of the universe solved
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear John,
Coming next week – Dotty solves the mystery of black holes and multiple universes…
Love Dotty xxx
Sword-chinned bitch
/ May 27, 2012Ahahahaha! Congratulations Dotty!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Swordy,
Thank you. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
chrisdevoss
/ May 27, 2012Did you read the job description? It may not be what you think.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Chris,
If the sausages aren’t perfect I stick a little flag in them so if they’ve conned me they’ll know about it soon enough. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Claire Cappetta
/ May 27, 2012Congrats Dotty! Hmm and the perfect Toad in the hole, oh yum. Try explaining that one to a nonbrit lol 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Claire,
I wouldn’t attempt to – leave them in horror and disgust while they wonder. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ May 27, 2012Dear Dotty,
Congratulations on the new position! I’m sure you’ll do us all proud. I love the Cumberland Sausage Llama, and I’d never heard the Jesus backwards thing, but you’re right! I wish I’d known that when I was in seminary!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Judith,
Thank you. 🙂
I think the Jesus name fact has offended some people – within five minutes of the post going up I had two fewer followers. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ May 27, 2012Dear Dotty,
Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.
Love, Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Judith,
😎 HA HA HA HA HA 😎
Love Dotty xxx
1pointperspective
/ May 27, 2012You didn’t want those two followers anyway, as they clearly have their priorities skewed. Dotty comes first, all other allegiances a distant second.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear 1point,
Very true. Very true indeed. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
faithhopechocolate
/ May 27, 2012Sounds like an ideal job, Dotty! Oh, and someone mentioned toad-in-the-hole. I wonder if i can request the kitchen here to make that for us for dinner one day this week? I don’t care if we’re in the middle of a heatwave!!
Xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear faithhopechocolate,
Hello. 🙂
Can I have some please (as long as you make it with Cumberland sausages). 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ May 27, 2012Two less followers for that? Heck they obviously missed some of your previous posts! Lollllllll. That was tame. 😉
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Brick,
I know. And respectful.
Love Dotty xxx
Ink. [Anette]
/ May 27, 2012This is wonderful. I love your pictures Dotty. Have a happy happy sausage Sunday ♥
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Anette,
Thank you. You too. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
thedeadguy666
/ May 27, 2012Hi Dotty,
Let’s look at this logically. If your Jesus picture is bad (because it says Jesus is a backwards sausage), that implies that sausages are bad. If sausages are bad, people who like sausages must also be bad. Therefore people like you who like sausages are…. Good. The people who left you were wrong about your Jesus picture being bad and acted on false logic. Maybe one day they will open their mind to sausages and realize the error of their ways.
The Dead Guy
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear Dead Guy,
Maybe they were vegetarians?
Love Dotty xxx
thedeadguy666
/ May 27, 2012Even vegetarians like sausages in their own senseless way. They make them from non-sausage ingredients and play make believe that they are good. I had one of those meatless atrocities once. Wait, maybe that’s it. Those two haven’t had a real sausage. Send someone to find them and make them try one. They will love you forever once their eyes have been opened to the truth..
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 28, 2012Dear Dead Guy,
Yes, I know – what’s that all about, fake sausages?? Stupid. And I once tried fake bacon — YEEEUUURRRGGHHH! And fake chicken. Idiots. You’re right, I need to hunt them down and convert them.
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ May 27, 2012Dotty, my sister lives in Norco with her husband and, among several other pets, three llamas. Please send me the llama sausage recipe so I can send it to her and turn Norco into the Cumberland sausage capital of America!
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 27, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
RECIPE FOR LLAMA SAUSAGES
Take one llama.
Peel it.
Chop it.
Shape it.
Stuff it in sausage skin.
Cook it.
Eat it.
Love Dotty xxx
the howler and me
/ May 27, 2012Dear Dotty,
The recipe sounds hilariously divine… I am just picturing someone peeling a llama like a banana…
Love,
-the howler and me
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 28, 2012Dear the howler and me,
There’s a poem in there somewhere. 😉
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ May 28, 2012Great! I can’t wait to show it to my sister. I won’t even have to explain about you…she knows me (actually, she’s a lot like me, except for the llamas) just like I’m a lot like you (except for the Cumberland sausages).
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 29, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
Cumberland sausages are the best thing about me. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ May 27, 2012Dear Dotty,
The Jesus sausage was the thing that made me laugh the most, that and the llama….hmmm, what does that say about me? I was even saying it backwards!! Good one for a Sunday!
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 28, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I was saying it backwards too! 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
psychowatcher
/ May 27, 2012Spelling with sausages. Wish I had thought of that when I was a teacher!
🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 28, 2012Dear psychowatcher,
They’re better than Alphabetti Spaghetti!
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ May 28, 2012You are a certified wack job. Best post almost ever. Sausage inspector? Am I not supposed to make fun of you for that? Like for weeks?
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 28, 2012Dear pmao,
I thought you might.
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ May 28, 2012Dear Dotty,
All bow down to the new Saviour, Susej! 😀
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 28, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
HALLELUJAH! 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ May 28, 2012Susej is cooked! Amen!! xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 28, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ May 29, 2012Naughty, naughty girl, you.
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 29, 2012Dear Robin,
:blush:
Love Dotty xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 29, 2012Dear robin,
That was supposed to be a smiley blush face.
Love Dotty xxx
ziggyshortcrust
/ May 29, 2012Well, it was the “Jesus joke” that was the deciding factor in me becoming a Dotty Cumberland Sausage loving follower. Lose two….gain one 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ May 29, 2012Dear ziggy,
Hello, welcome, and thank you. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx