Suspicious Things Happening On My Street


It’s pissing it down outside. AGAIN. I don’t mind that it’s cool but WHERE’S THE FUCKING SUN? And what happened to GLOBAL WARMING? Where did that go?


Yesterday afternoon I was having a peep out of my window to see if the white van that keeps parking across the road, three houses down, had come back (it had, and it’s still there). I was watching it intently when I happened to spy, out of the corner of my third eye, a scratty, scrawny, soggy-skirted, basket-carrying little woman standing in the rain, all the way up the street on the other side of the road, staring at my house. It was HER. Little Emily. The pygmy dog-man wasn’t with her, not that I could see anyway – he might have been hiding behind the privet hedge of the nearest garden but I don’t think so, there were no signs of her talking to anyone.

I wanted a closer look but in the seconds it took me to reach across to the bookcase for my binoculars, take the caps off and move back the curtain again, she had gone.

What did she want? Why didn’t she come to the door? And what was in the basket?

Branwell is due this afternoon, I’m going to make him tell me what’s going on. If he won’t fess up I’ll kneecap him with dead ex-Simon’s cricket bat.


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  1. We had thunder yesterday. My dog was hiding under the desk. She thinks she’s badass but she’s just a little wuss really.

  2. rich

     /  July 11, 2012

    Part of global warming is irregular precipitation, too much it too little. It’s still happening, with or without pygmies.

  3. To be continued… This makes me imagine dramatic soap opera music playing…

  4. Mind if I borrow “scratty?”

  5. Irish cricket?

  6. Rain, schmain. We are havint 105 degree weather here today. Now THAT is something to complain about.

  7. Dear Dotty, honey,

    Stick to that plan! I want to know what’s going on with her as well. I’m surprised she didn’t at least wave.

    Obviously, we all love you most, but if little Emily wants to come back, I can spare a Little-Emily sized chunk of love for her.



  8. unfetteredbs

     /  July 12, 2012

    a spying lurking Dotty with binaculars…do post a picture of this…

  9. crazybeanrider

     /  July 13, 2012

    Maybe little Emily has some goodies in her basket. And wants to share, the weather is too moody, it is running 100 degrees in my neighborhood, relief must come soon, or I am going to get mean.

    • Dear cbr,

      She’s not really the sharing type.

      It’s cold here – I’m wearing a cardigan.

      Love Dotty xxx

      • crazybeanrider

         /  July 14, 2012

        Oh I’d love to wear a sweater, I will be glad when this heat takes a turn and brings in the comfy coolness of fall. Keep your eye open for Little Emily, if she isn’t in the giving mood she may have other ideas up her sleeve.-Boo

      • Dear Boo,

        I’m trying to find out what she’s up to but Branwell isn’t telling. 😦

        Love Dotty xxx

      • crazybeanrider

         /  July 15, 2012

        Perhaps peeping is her forte’

      • Dear Boo,

        She’s too prim to be a peeper. No, it’s something DIABOLICAL.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • crazybeanrider

         /  July 16, 2012

        She is starting to sound like Jack The Ripper type stalker!

      • Dear Boo,

        Yep, she can be a bit of a nutter. 🙂

        Love Dotty xxx

  10. Stop spying on my van while I am hiding in it and spying on you…

  11. WordsFallFromMyEyes

     /  August 19, 2012

    I loved your description of the basket carrying woman – choice! Ah, Dotty. You rock!


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