Over the last few days, as I’ve been skipping my way round the blogs making a few inroads into the massive pile of post notifications in my email, I’ve encountered a VERY STRANGE THING – I’m not the only one with WORDY BLOCK. An exceptional amount of bloggers have it. Bloggers who are normally prolific and reliable are struggling for words. They can’t think of what to write. Their mojo has turned into noflo.
WHY?
What’s going on?
Is it a nasty lurgy? A WORDY BLOCK flu?
Are we all infecting each other?
YES WE ARE!
The blogging atmosphere is RIFE WITH WORDY BLOCK GERMS.
Doesn’t anyone own a HANDKERCHIEF? It’s basic HYGIENE when a lurgy is doing the rounds – YOU DON’T SNEEZE YOUR GERMS INTO THE AIR FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO CATCH. YOU USE A HANKY. OR A TISSUE. OR A BIT OF LOO ROLL IF YOU HAVEN’T GOT A HANKY OR A TISSUE.
Who started it? Who was THE FIRST TO BE INFECTED?
It wasn’t me.
I use PALMOLIVE ANTIBACTERIAL HANDWASH that kills 99.9% of BACTERIA (the blue stuff – it’s good).
And I use tissues. KLEENEX BALSAM TISSUES.
So it definitely wasn’t me.
Was it YOU?
And what if it turns into WORDY BLOCK PNEUMONIA?
What if we all DIE OF WORDY BLOCK?
You’ll wish you’d washed your hands then, won’t you, you FIRST-INFECTED SPREAD-THE-LURGY FUCKER? Because you’ll be left with NOTHING TO READ when we ALL DIE.
And you’ll wish you’d used a hanky. FUCKING SKANK.
And when you’ve killed us all off I hope WordPress sues the arse off you and you have to declare yourself BANKRUPT.
BASTARD.
FILTHY GERM-RIDDEN PIG.
DIRTY, DISEASY TRAMP.
If I could be bothered opening up Photoshop I’d make you a sign to hang round your neck to let people know WHAT YOU ARE.
*
UNCLEAN
UNCLEAN
UNCLEAN
*
Fucker.
Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 
Christopher De Voss
/ July 24, 2012What about that 1% that your sanitizer didn’t kill? That could be the cause.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Chris,
No it isn’t. I’ve caught it from someone else.
And it’s not 1%, it’s less than 1% – I don’t know how much less, but it’s less.
Love Dotty xxx
DeeDee
/ July 24, 2012I figure it’s the middle of the summer and everyone’s too busy barbecuing Cumberland sausages to be blogging. But maybe I’m just inventing excuses for the ubiquitous wordy block.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear DeeDee,
It was quiet for a while (for views) but it seems to have picked up again – but no one knows what to write. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
The Depressed Moose
/ July 24, 2012it is because that yellow thing has appeared in the sky again? I seem to have wordy diarrhea want it?
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Garry,
It IS odd to see it, like watching a Sci-Fi film with 3 moons hovering round the planet – WEIRD AND DISCONCERTING.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ July 24, 2012It weren’t me.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Misfit,
How do we know it wasn’t?
Love Dotty xxx
Dion Burn
/ July 24, 2012A little wordy block never hurt anyone. It’s what allowed you to catch up on your reading, isn’t it? Frankly, I don’t think wordy block even exists but as an excuse for frustration,like the “terrible twos.” (And I think some people write too much, anyway!)
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Dion,
Well that’s me told, isn’t it? 😉
Love Dotty xxx
the howler and me
/ July 24, 2012Dear Dotty,
I swear it wasn’t me… I caught it from someone else! It certainly couldn’t be that I caused all of this havoc myself.
Love
The howler and me
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear the howler and me,
Are you sure? Absolutely sure?
Love Dotty xxx
the howler and me
/ July 24, 2012~sullen look~
No, but I am soooo careful. I practice safe blogging… I PROMISE.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear the howler and me,
I know it wasn’t you. It was Maggie.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 24, 2012Dear Dotty,
It wasn’t you that’s for sure. I have been dead, not suffering from word block lurgy. Though there is hope for me, since today is day…let me see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, day 5 without any alcohol and my brain is still quiet and not in a panic. Thank God and Buddha, and Allah, and Jesus and who ever else anyone wants to thank, Thor, maybe. My leg is shaking a little but it always used to do that in the morning so maybe I’m getting back to normal. See, I suffer from word ramblingon-itis, not to be confused with word salad which is when the words are all tossed up in the air. It’s quiet because the “EXCITEMENT” OF THE OLYMPICS…men in their tiny bathing suits, women in their bikinis…people are watching them. I turned it on for my 94 yr. old father and the women were in the middle of London playing volleyball in their bikinis and his eyes were popping out of his head. So, people must be doing something with themselves now. Blah, bah, blah, ramble on, ramble on…….I’ll turn the mic back to you Dotty, sorry for babbling…..
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Dorothy,
Day 5 is GREAT GOING. 🙂
The excitement of the Olympics is down South. I’m too far away for it to bother me, apart from when they start messing with the soaps. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
jmlindy422
/ July 24, 2012I work with children. After the first week or two, which you spend vomiting, sneezing and fevered, you are then immune to everything. Go roll around with some kids. But, I think you doth protest too much. You’ve managed quite a few words through your wordy block.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear jm,
My sister won’t let me roll around with THE BERSERKERS, she says my carpet has CREATURES living in it.
I might be starting to recover. I might not. I’ve upped my 2 hourly laudanum doses to see if that helps.
Love Dotty xxx
Angel Fractured
/ July 24, 2012I seem to be doing just fine. (Knock on wood.) Then again, I’m surprisingly resilient. When I was a kid, once everyone in my family but me had pneumonia at the same time. When I’m sick, I rarely have a fever.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Angel,
I’m sticking with you then. 😉
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 24, 2012I’m personally going to blame the heat. The heat zaps all energy from you. Plus, I notice summer always kills people being on the internet. They are all out like “doing” stuff. How crazy is that? Outside enjoying the summer. They need to knock that off right now!!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Brick,
This is the first day it’s been hot here, so I can’t blame the heat. It’s been pissing it down all summer.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 24, 2012doesn’t it always piss down there? LOL
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear Brick,
Yes.
Love Dotty xxx
Maggie O'C
/ July 24, 2012Dear Dotty,
Never fear! I think today I will have a breakthrough. And not for nothin’, if we go back to when this scourge seems to have started….yours was the first post.
Your Post Dotty Headbanger started this pandemic, this crisis!
YOU!
but i’ll fix it.
Love,
maggie
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Maggie,
ME?
ME?
Really?
Was it me?
NO IT WASN’T.
But if you invent the vaccine and give it to me first I’ll forgive you for saying it was ME. Eventually.
Love Dotty xxx
owl
/ July 24, 2012Dear Dotty,
Yes, I do have it also. 😦 IT REALLY SUCKS.
Love,
Owl
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear owl,
I know. It’s all Maggie’s fault.
Love Dotty xxx
Madame Weebles
/ July 24, 2012Dear Dotty,
It wasn’t me either. I bathe in lye every morning. But whenever I find out who Patient Zero is, he/she will pay.
xoxo Mme Weebles
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 24, 2012Dear Mme Weebles,
It was Maggie.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 24, 2012I have the opposite problem I can’t keep up with all my words and ideas. My head wants to explode. Send me a wordy-block germ so I can rest my brain.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear pmao,
HAAAAAAAAHHHH!
I just breathed on your comment.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 25, 2012I feel infected… thanks
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear pmao,
Don’t get too infected or you’ll pass it back to me when I come round to yours.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 25, 2012That is the way with virus germs.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear pmao,
And virus Dicks. They keep coming back.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 25, 2012They never go away.
EllaDee
/ July 24, 2012If I did have wordy block I would now be too afraid to say, so thank you for your kind enquiry but I am fine. Oooh, okay there is something… I’ve spent a week or more of not so spare time (damn work) writing a post that doesn’t sound like me at all. I think my usual muses are sunning themselves in Spain, and left me with a crappy work experience muse… My kitchen muses are gone too – last night I char-grilled a tea towel. I didn’t see holidays in their contracts.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear Ella,
What did you serve your tea towel with?
Love Dotty xxx
EllaDee
/ July 25, 2012Good question. A side dish of choice swear words…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear Ella,
Oh dear. Not a good meal then?
Love Dotty xxx
EllaDee
/ July 25, 2012Yes, well, the meal was ok. We didn’t partake of the tea towel & swear words. Evident from tonight’s slightly burnt efforts is the kitchen muses are still AWOL. It’s hard to get good help 😉
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear Ella,
If the kitchen muses have fucked off there’s always an answer —
CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES.
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ July 25, 2012I’ve told you youngsters time and again that the problem is too much cleanliness! Not enough measles! Go get the chickenpox …oh, wait, don’t get the chickenpox, you could end up with shingles when you’re old. ‘Course that might not be bad if your roof is leaking…think I’m gonna go post a post. Uh, tomorrow. Maybe.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
I keep telling Lottie that – stop disinfecting everything, THE BERSERKERS will have NO IMMUNE SYSTEM!
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ July 25, 2012Already, whooping cough has become large again, after 50 years of quiescence.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
When we were little we used to spend our summers making mud pies and itching powder potions out of rosehips and dock leaves and whatever else we could find. At dinnertime (lunchtime, but I’m a Northern lass so it’s dinnertime to me) we’d be handed a sandwich and told to hold it by the crust – which is what the crust is FOR – but we’d end up eating god knows what. And we’d be covered in scratches and cuts that we didn’t even notice until we got in the bath at night.
When we were old enough, we spent all day in the woods. Probably why I’m basically physically healthy – forget mentally, we’re not talking about that right now. 😉
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ July 25, 2012My memories are about the same…even the mental parts;-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
thelastsongiheard
/ July 25, 2012Ah, Dotty… to be honest, I have to wonder if watching bloggers die from word-block-lurgy is truly as emotionally moving as watching Kate Winslet die in Contagion and… well… frankly… no, it’s not…. 😛
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 25, 2012Dear tlsih,
Yes it is.
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 26, 2012I’ve got stupid Wordy Block now too. It definitely wasn’t me who started it, coz I’ve only had it about a week. It’s not very nice 😦
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Rachel,
Oh no. I’m sorry you’ve got it too – I should have put a big cross on the title page of the blog to keep people away.
It’s all Maggie’s fault.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. I was getting really down about it so yesterday I made myself sit at the laptop until I’d written 500 words about cornflakes. Today I’ve written 508 words, a pile of shite about decisions, but it was a bit easier than yesterday.
When you get really sick of it, pick a silly word to write about and see what you come up with, or open the dictionary and make yourself write 500 words about the first word you read. Do the 500 words though – it’s the only way through it, it seems to be working for me.
rachelmiller1511
/ July 26, 2012Thanks for the tips Dotty- they sound great. I don’t want to just stop posting, coz I love it. I’m pretty sure I can write 500 words about a pile of shite 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Rachel,
That’s why I’ve been trying my best to get through it, if I stopped posting I probably wouldn’t come back at all – I know myself too well.
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 26, 2012I tend to be like that too. Managed to knock myself out of it today though, so quite pleased. It’s funny how, when you sit and write about any old rubbish, that sometimes you end up with a load of words that bear some resemblance to a post!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Rachel,
How do you think I’ve managed 7 months worth of posts? 😉
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 26, 2012🙂 🙂
Carr Party of Five
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
What is the opposite of Wordy Block?
Cuz I have it.
Wordy Diarrea?
OK. I got to GO.
For real. GO….AGAIN!!!!
😉
Love, Lis
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Lisa,
I might have to go again myself shortly.
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ July 26, 2012dear Dotty,
I am still laughing over ….
Dear Dirty,
heeheeeteeeeheeee!!!!!!
And your response.
bahahahahhaaaaaa!!!!!!
The best.
🙂
Love, lis
xoxooxox
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Lisa,
The things I put up with on this blog. Sheesh.
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
I know Right?!
teheheheeeeeeeee
😉
Love, lis
xoxoxoox
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Lisa,
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
faithhopechocolate
/ July 27, 2012Wasn’t me, promise! My excuse for the lack of communication has been that I’ve been not allowed online for the last 7 days and now I’ve got to try and catch up on 7 days worth of Dotty (and other blogs and the dreaded Facebook on which I just gave up because it’s less stressful that way). But now I’m back so things might change…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear fhc,
I read the post you posted just before your quiet week. Was your time fruitful and calming?
I’d LOVE a quiet week, but not in my house. When I can get out of it I’m going to disappear into the middle of nowhere for a while. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx