Could I? – Yes / No
Should I? – The grey area.
Would I? – I don’t know. It’s difficult. I can’t decide because I don’t know the outcome.
Okay, I know what you’re thinking – ‘Is she going to tell us WHAT DECISION SHE HAS TO MAKE?’ Well, no I’m not because there isn’t a decision to be made. Mental She-Hermits don’t have many decisions to make and if one happens to come along we don’t recognise that it WAS a decision until after the fact – decisions are made on INSTINCTIVE MOODY AUTOPILOT which isn’t a good way to make ALL decisions so I’ve decided (WAY-HAY!) to ask myself these three questions AT ALL TIMES in order to determine which decisions are IMPORTANT enough to require CONSCIOUS THOUGHT.
Here’s a decision I have to make EVERY MORNING. Usually I just go with my gut instinct but from tomorrow morning I’m going to THINK ABOUT IT. Actually, no, bollocks to waiting for tomorrow – I’LL DO IT NOW. I’LL MAKE A DECISION. NOW.
THE QUESTION
Should I have six Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my breakfast?
THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS
Could I? – Yes, easily.
Should I? – The grey area – If I DO I might not be hungry enough to eat the eight Cumberland sausage sandwiches I’ve planned to eat at 12.00pm for my dinner. If I DON’T I might be TOO hungry before dinnertime and end up eating the packet of Hobnobs I was saving for this afternoon BEFORE I HAVE MY DINNER.
Would I? – Fuck, yes. But ‘Would I?’ is negated by thoughts that arise from ‘Should I?’ and those thoughts make me feel BAD ABOUT EATING SIX CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES FOR MY BREAKFAST. Why do they make me feel bad? Because they’re loaded with GUILTY FEELINGS. Why are they loaded with guilty feelings? Because they make me FACE THE FACT that if I DO eat six Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my breakfast and then eat EIGHT Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my dinner I’ll have eaten FOURTEEN CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES in total and that’s a lot of Cumberland sausage sandwiches, even for me, and eating FOURTEEN CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES makes me seem like a GREEDY GANNET, which I am but I don’t want people to THINK I am. And the GUILTY FEELINGS make me FACE THE FACT that if I DON’T eat six Cumberland sausage sandwiches for my breakfast, (let’s say I eat FOUR instead), at about 11.00am I’ll eat the packet of Hobnobs I was saving for this afternoon AND THEN I’LL EAT THE EIGHT CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES FOR MY DINNER which means I’ll have eaten TWELVE CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE SANDWICHES AND A PACKET OF HOBNOBS which is STILL a lot so I’ll STILL seem like a GREEDY GANNET.
I can’t win either way. It’s not fair.
RESULT OF DECISION MAKING PROCESS
I started my decision at 7.58 am. It’s now 10.55am
TOO LATE TO HAVE MY BREAKFAST.
So fuck that, I’m not doing decisions any more, they’re too hard and too brutal. I’ll stick to my old floaty ways.
MMMMMM, HOBNOBS! COME TO DOTTY!
gingerfightback
/ July 26, 2012I’ve got some Jacob Club Biscuits in the cupboard! Orange and Mint flavoured.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear ginger,
I haven’t had a Club biscuit for years! I didn’t like the raisin ones.
Love Dotty xxx
The Depressed Moose
/ July 26, 2012“if you like a lot of chocolates on your biscuit, join our club!”
erm sorry about that dont know what came over me! i am pleased to see your “wordy block” appears to have gone! can you ask Ginger to send me some clubs please :-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Garry,
OY, GINGER, GARRY WANTS SOME OF YOUR CLUB BISCUITS.
Love Dotty xxx
The Depressed Moose
/ July 26, 2012:-)
Grumpy
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
Noting the quantities of Cumberland Sausages you consume, buying shares in the company that makes them would seem an attractive proposition!
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Grumpy,
I’m poor. I can’t.
Love Dotty xxx
Christopher De Voss
/ July 26, 2012Do they sell cumberland sausage in the states?
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Chris,
I don’t know, I can’t recall any Americans saying they’ve tried them.
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 26, 2012:) :) :) You don’t have Wordy Block!!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Rachel,
I did! I’ve been making myself do 500 words before I can have my Cumberland sausages. I won’t allow myself to go the back door for a fag either until I’ve done them. It seems to be working!!
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 26, 2012Working very well! Anything for sausages and a fag hey?!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Rachel,
Yep. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
therabbitholez
/ July 26, 2012I still haven’t even made a descion about brekkie and here we are at 3.30 so i’ve missed lunch but now thing about supper….
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear trh,
Have some Cumberland sausage sandwiches. The food for all meals.
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
I am totally veering off the subject of decisions:
#! Thank you for the advice.
#2 ONe of my friends referred back to my Don’t PUsh That Button post!!! And featured YOU on her blog!!! yippy skippy for the BIG BlOG Collection!!!!!
#3 Should I have a diet coke? it’s only 9:40.
Love, Lis
xoxoox
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Lisa,
I know, I saw it. :-)
Yes, have a Diet Coke.
Love Dotty xxx
Maggie O'C
/ July 26, 2012Diet Coke is the perfect morning drink and I have one every morning even before 9:40 a.m.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Maggie,
You, Lisa and I should set up a Diet Coke club. I drink mine neat, no ice cubes to water it down. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Maggie O'C
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
I drink mine out of the can or bottle. I don’t like fountain drinks. Can I be the social coordinator of our club. I won’t arrange any outdoor activities.
love,
Maggie
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear Maggie,
What are fountain drinks?
Yes, you can be the social coordinator. I’ll be the Chief Taster.
Love Dotty xxx
Maggie O'C
/ July 27, 2012Dear Dotty,
Fountain drinks are soda out of a machine, like where you fill the cup with Diet Coke and ice. It’s no good. You never know if it will be flat or too syrupy.
I just finished my first Diet Coke of the day and it’s not even 11 a.m.
Love the Olympickles. I would watch the Olympickles.
Love,
Maggie
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear Maggie,
Ah! I don’t like them either. You don’t know when the machine was last cleaned out.
I’m just about to pour another glassful – it’s been HOT here today and my Diet Coke is lovely and COLD. :-)
I’ve been watching the Olympickles all my life – when the pie shop opens the local men race to get in first. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Daniel
/ July 26, 2012I saw a gannet once soon after it had eaten one cumberland sausage sandwich and three Hobknobs. It landed very heavily and made a hole in the beach.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Daniel,
And then it turned into a big whale and they had to get a crane to lift me out. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
I get such a kick how you can write a post out of the same things I think about (although I eat other things). There are times I just say to myself….”Self, just shut up and eat the potatoes now and have the bread later, even though you’ll be starving in five hours because you’ll be stuck eating Rice Chex then.” Luckily I fill up on lots of coffee and plain water now.
(Day 7 for me)
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I drink coffee in the morning, Diet Coke in the afternoon. :-)
7 days is fucking brilliant. How are you feeling? :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 26, 2012Feeling good still, amazing isn’t it? I love it!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I’m glad. You ‘sound’ much more alive on your post. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 26, 2012P.S. Shared your post today on my Facebook.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dorothy,
Ta very muchly. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 26, 2012I have just made a decision… oh… wait… no I haven’t… sigh…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear pmao,
Have you done it yet?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 26, 2012I am working on it.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear pmao,
Still working on it?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 27, 2012More or less.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear pmao,
I just had to dig you out of the Spam. Was that your decision – to go on an adventure into the Spam box?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 27, 2012Spam is my Cumberland sausages… I guess.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear pmao,
:-)
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 27, 2012Indeed.
WeeGee
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
I love this post! It is exactly how I go about making decisions: faff about thinking until it is too late to make a decsion anyway. As far as I’m concerned it is the ONLY way to go about decision making, I can’t believe it hasn’t caught on in the general population.
Love WeeGee
PS. There are no typos are there? You got over wordy block and I remembered how to use a keyboard. Yay!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear WeeGee,
I know. If more people went about things the way We Who Are Mental do the world would be a better place. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Typos? What are they? ;-)
Maggie O'C
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
What are Hobnobs?
Love,
Maggie
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Maggie,
Lovely, oaty, crunchy biscuits. The best lovely, oaty, crunchy biscuits in the world. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Maggie O'C
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
I ran the Google on them and I think I’ve seen those before. They are in specialty markets here.
Did you eat them?
Love,
Maggie
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear Maggie,
Are they expensive over there?
Yes, I ate them all. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Peaches
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
Besides sausages, what do you put on your sandwiches?
Love, Peaches
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Peaches,
Can you put anything else on sandwiches?
Love Dotty xxx
Peaches
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
I mean like lettuce, tomatoes, spread, cheese, etc?
xoxo,
Peaches
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 26, 2012Dear Peaches,
Oh, those. Yes, I did a post right at the beginning of my blog about sandwiches –
it’s here — Healthy Recipes For Hungry Hermits.
:-)
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ July 26, 2012Dear Dotty,
You are single-handedly propping-up the Cumberland Sausage industry, and the Hobnob industry, both of which in this economy need healthy up-propping. I think 14 Cumberland Sausage Sandwiches a day should be regarded as over and above your civic duty to support Britain’s economy! Stay strong, my sister!
Love.
Judith 8-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear Judith,
I’m secretly living in hope that the Queen recognises my efforts and awards me a CBE – CumBerland Eater.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ July 28, 2012Dear Dotty,
If you need testimonials, please let me know — I enjoy singing your praises!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 28, 2012Dear Judith,
Thank you very much. I might just take you up on that. ;-)
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ July 28, 2012Dear Dotty,
Good!
Love you,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 28, 2012Dear Judith,
8-)
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ July 26, 2012There used to be a program for that on the Spectrum 48/128.
10 Count sausages
20 Eat sausages
30 GOTO 10
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear Mondrak,
I live within the Sausage Spectrum. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ July 27, 2012LOL
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear Mondrak,
It’s true! :-)
Love Dotty xxx
EllaDee
/ July 27, 2012It’s the weekend, my decision making time… will I stay in bed, drinking coffee, checking out Dotty’s posts, or will I get up & clean something?…… hmmmm, I’m still here. Thnx for that :)
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 27, 2012Dear Ella,
You’re welcome. :-)
My motto about cleaning – Don’t bother, you’ll only have to do it all again six months later.
Love Dotty xxx