DOtty’s FavOurite Letter Of The Alphabet


My favOurite letter Of the alphabet is O.

O is a nice letter, rOund and lOOpy.

Where dOes O begin?

Where dOes it end?

NObOdy knOws.

It begins wherever yOu want it tO begin.

It ends wherever yOu want it tO end.



YOu can make pretty patterns with it –






It lOOks like a dOt.

It lOOks dOtty.

And spOtty.

And blOtty.



It’s full Of expressiOn –

O – is an expressiOn Of a sudden surprise – bOO

Or a sOmewhat disappOinting surprise

Or a questiOn (if a questiOn mark immediately fOllOws it)


Or –

oooooo – is an expressiOn Of a cOmpassiOnate wince

Or a juicy tempation like a lOvelyCumberland sausage sandwich I’m abOut tO eat

Or a lOvely Cumberland sausage sandwich I’ve just eaten




Because it’s a gOOd letter, O dOesn’t appear in the impOrtant basic swear wOrds I like tO use –








O is the neatest letter Of the alphabet. Even the scruffiest, sprawliest handwriting can’t fuck it up.

O has nO sharp cOrners.

O is perfect.



O is the shape Of a ring.

O is the shape Of a circle.

O is the shape Of Our planet when yOu lOOk at a picture Of Our planet.

And all the Other planets. 

 O is the shape Of O.

O is the shape Of everything.

O is what we’re made Of.




Leave a comment


  1. unfetteredbs

     /  August 13, 2012

    I lOve this soO very much

  2. And, not least of the “O’s”, the big “O”… “I’ll have what she’s having” 😉

  3. the howler and me

     /  August 13, 2012

    Dear Dotty,
    o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O
    the hOwler and me 🙂

  4. What can I say, Dotty? I’m a convert to O. I reckon we should get rid of the other 25 letters of the alphabet and just revel in the beauty of O.

    Here’s how Charles Dickens’ “A tale of Two Cities” would look translated to O:

    Oo ooo ooo oooo oo ooooo, oo ooo ooo ooooo oo ooooo, oo ooo ooo ooo oo oooooo, oo ooo ooo ooo oo ooooooooooo…

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness…

    And this is the opening line from Twelfth Night:

    Oo ooooo oo ooo oooo oo oooo, oooo oo;

    If music be the food of love, play on;

    I’m just drafting a proposal to the publishing department of Penguin for exclusive translation rights! Don’t worry, I’ll cut you in on the deal, Dotty!

    • Dear Darren,

      90/10 in my favour and I’m in.

      Love Dotty xxx

      P.S. What about songs?

      • Dear Dotty
        You drive a hard bargain…how about 85/15 in your favour…and a packet of cumberland sausages as a token of goodwill.

        Songs, you say? How about this unforgettable classic:

        oo ooo oo oooo oooo, ooooo-ooooo, oooooo ooooo-
        ooo oooooo…

        “It was an itsy bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini…”

        It’s even got the word ‘dot’ in it…or should I say, ‘ooo’

      • Dear Darren,

        Okay, it’s a deal. If you make it three packets of Cumberland sausages. 🙂

        I like oooo ooooo, ooooo-ooooo, oooooo ooooo-ooo oooooo. It sounds better. I’d also like all rap songs to be sung in the letter O.

        Love Dotty xxx

      • It’s a deal. Just got off the phone with Louis Walsh and he loved the idea of Jedward dressed as Cumberlands lip-synching to the song!

      • Dear Darren,



        The deal’s off.

        Love Dotty xxx

  5. O O O ice cOld milk and an OreO cOOkie, they fOrever gO tOgether, what a classic cOmbinatiOn!

    • Dear Chris,

      I tried an Oreo cookie not so long ago. I don’t like them. We have better biscuits over here – Hobnobs being one of them.

      Love Dotty xxx

  6. Oh, oh, oh what a lovely poem 🙂

    • Dear bitchpig,

      wOw. This is WEIRD. I was thinking about you earlier when I made a new category in the Big Blog Collection (it’s called The Performing Arts), wondering where you’d gone because it was ages since you’d last posted – I just looked and read today’s post – the last one was May. And here you are!! 🙂

      Love Dotty xxx

  7. prewitt1970

     /  August 13, 2012

    O. Is amazing I agree..!!

  8. Dear Dotty,

    I just realized that I don’t have a single O in my entire name (blog name and real name). Now I’m sad.

    xoxo Mme Weebles

  9. So, o is not ordinary… or ornery, or obstintant, or obligatory, or odurous, or over done, o is only o.

  10. Dear Dotty,

    This is a charming post! Thanks for giving me a nice smile!



  11. Dear Dotty,
    The O in Ziggy ShOrtcrust sounds flat not rOund. It comes Out “aw”. I think it’s brOken. 😦

  12. Peaches

     /  August 14, 2012

    HellOOOO DOtty!
    You’ve been nominated for an award on my blog! (For real, I’m not spam)

  13. Yes, I am back on the woo hoo hooooooooo radar, missed you Dotty x

  14. Dear Dotty,

    I am SOOOO happy to share this with you. This is seriously one of my all-time favourite songs.


  15. G’day Dotty,



  16. WordsFallFromMyEyes

     /  August 19, 2012

    Dotty, you make my day with your FUCK ARSE SHITE TWAT! 🙂 🙂

    Seriously you did!



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