Poemi Classicus
Arsiderum ep tusti
corpsicanti fortense.
Pissiflora illicidantum,
fukadukius indi ear.
Horantica in mentalium,
orifungus mushi room;
salivati ondi chinius,
dribblidrooli beestibum.
Shitey Poem – Poemi Classicus
Posted in Fake Non Fiction
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on August 15, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/shitey-poem-poemi-classicus/
Next Post
Marvellous, Miraculous Sticky Notes
Marvellous, Miraculous Sticky Notes
THE BIG BLOG COLLECTION
GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
Search For Shite On Dotty’s Blog
-
It’s All Shite – Scroll Right Down The Page For The Big List Of Shite
- Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby. And More Baby.
- EGGS
- How A Baby Whose Name Isn’t Jesus Came To Live With Dotty
- Hello, Hello, Hellooooooooo…
- Dotty Weekly News
- Dotty The Fickle Fucker
- Hello, It’s Me, Dotty.
- Where Did Lottie Find The Fucker? Under A Bleeding Heart?
- Lottie Is Going Dotty And Dotty Is Having A Bouncy Week
- Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Fluffy Puffy Clouds (and a CLOUDY CAPTION COMPETITION)
Dotty’s New Blog
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
ALL THE SHITEY SUNDAYS
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Sister Agony Auntie Dotty’s Problem Page
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
I LIKE THIS PICTURE
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
SWEAR SWEAR SWEAR AT JEMIMA
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
FOR AMERICANS ONLY
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
Cumberland Sausage Count
- 60,778 so far today - yum yum!
Dotty Headbanger’s Shitey Family – The Whole Sorry Story
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
A Very Nice Picture Of Kumblant
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
Dotty’s Doo Wop Collection
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
Mucky Ducky & Fucky Ducky – Poetry in motion
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
Press Enquiries
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I don't do television or face-to-face interviews. I might do pre-booked telephone interviews but only if you can pay me in the Queen's precious coin. No Euros, no Dollars, and definitely no plastic cards with spying-for-the-government computer chips in them.
All enquiries to:
dottyheadbanger AT gmail.comPaparazzi - Don't camp outside my house again or I'll set my 12 Rottweilers on you. Dotty's Rotty's will EAT YOUR FACE.
DOTTY’S PET BLOGS
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
DOTTY FILM REVIEWS
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
Taggywags
anxiety art beauty black humour blog blogging bloody rubbish books britain British children Comedy crapcrapcrap Cumberland sausages Depression doobydoobydoo Dotty Fearnley-Twattingstall Dotty Headbanger emily bronte fake non fiction family fashion fiction film reviews films food funny grumpy housework humor humour I am a nutty nutter I AM MENTAL Ian Somerhalder Insanity Life literature love Lovely Ian Somerhalder Mad Shit marriage mental mental health misc movie reviews movies Music News personal philosophy photography photoshop pictures pile of shite poems Poetry psychiatry psychology Random rant religion review reviews satire social anxiety spirituality sport stories television the brontes thoughts why bother? words writing wuthering heightsTHE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
THE BRICK & SAUSAGE AWARD
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
A Dotty Award
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
THE BEST EVER BLOGGING AWARD WITH BINS IN THE PICTURE
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
-
All The Shitey Posts I’ve Written In A Big Shitey List
- Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby. And More Baby.
- EGGS
- How A Baby Whose Name Isn’t Jesus Came To Live With Dotty
- Hello, Hello, Hellooooooooo…
- Dotty Weekly News
- Dotty The Fickle Fucker
- Hello, It’s Me, Dotty.
- Where Did Lottie Find The Fucker? Under A Bleeding Heart?
- Lottie Is Going Dotty And Dotty Is Having A Bouncy Week
- Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Fluffy Puffy Clouds (and a CLOUDY CAPTION COMPETITION)
- Bish Bash Bosh – I’ve Run Out Of Dosh
- Ariel Washing Machine Tablets, I Love You, You Are Beautiful
- Another New Dotty Blog
- RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT – And More RANT
- Another Dotty Senryu – A Mental Writer’s Mental Lament
- Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Hair!
- September, September – The Month Of Giving, And The Month Of Nine Months Of Blogging For Dotty, And It’s Nearly Christmas
- Branwell To The Rescue – Manglebrain Is Back In The Sideboard
- Dotty Is Being Beaten And Eaten By The Demon And I Don’t Know What To Do
- Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Barmy Baldies
- Manglebrain Rex, Criminatore Terribilium (The Demon In Dotty’s Attic)
- Trying To Trap The Demon In Dotty’s Attic (It Isn’t An Attic, It’s A LOFT But Attic Sounds Better)
- Why Is Life So Cruel To Me? Why? Why? What Have I Done That’s SO Wrong?
- Ghosty Spirity Spooky Spectrey FOLLOWERS
- Dotty Was Dying Of Double Pneumonia But I’m All Right Now
- Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Baby Jumping
- A Very Nice Video Post
- Hidey-Holes For Hermits
- Dotty The Sagey Wise Woman – Wise Words Of Wisdom – Part 1, A Few Idioms For Idiots
- If I Didn’t Have People Phobia I Could Have Run Outside And Kicked His Head In
- Useless Dotty Strikes Again
- Guess Who’s Coming To My House This Afternoon?
- Marvellous, Miraculous Sticky Notes
- Shitey Poem – Poemi Classicus
- Dotty The Cosmic Orderer Who Asked The Universe For £148m But Didn’t Get It
- £148m Euromillions Winners Say It Won’t Change Them
- Dotty Talking Therapy © – The Cure For Being Mental
- DOtty’s FavOurite Letter Of The Alphabet
- Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Inspirational Wordy Posters
- A Shitey Poem For Shitey Saturday – The Stolen Shoes
- Hello, My Little Chickadumplings
- Two Pints Of Laudanum And A Packet Of Crisps, Please!
- Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Weirdy Beardies And Mental Moustaches
- The Big Blog Collection – Dotty’s Choice
- It’s All In The Eyes – What NOT To Do With A Character’s Eyes If You Don’t Want Your Readers To Piss Themselves Laughing
- A Nice Letter To Dotty’s Future Dead Second Husband
- Questions, Questions, Questions – How To Successfully Torture A People Phobic She-Hermit
- ?
- Dotty’s New Novel – Part 2 – This Is Not A Love Story
- Fifty Shades Of SHITEY DROSS
DOTTY’S COLLECTED COUNTRIES
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Creepy & Freaky But True
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
FED UP OF FACEBOOK?
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
Dotty’s Notes
- * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
- ALL DOTTY’S COLLECTIONS IN ONE HANDY LIST
- DOTTY’S HINTS & TIPS FOR HERMITS
- Sister Agony Auntie Dotty’s Problem Page
- DOTTY REVIEWS
- Dotty’s Shitey Family – The Whole Sorry Story
- DOTTY’S PET BLOGS
- DOTTY THE AWARD SLUT – AWARD COLLECTION
- VERSIONS OF MY AWARD
- BORING SHITEY POEMS
- SHITEY SHORT STORIES
- Very Sad Journal Of Very Sad Pygmy Were-Zompire
- DOTTY’S DOO-WOP COLLECTION
- ALL THE SHITEY SUNDAYS
DOTTY PAVAROTTI, THE SINGING FISH
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
Dotty's Good Sites
- A Telly Guide I Use When I Need To Know What's On
- CIA – Ha ha ha! They Need To Learn To Spell If They Want To Be The CENTRE Of Intelligence.
- Dibble – For When They Say They're Fed Up With My Questions
- Euromillions Results So I Can Quickly Check My Ticket
- FBI – If America Needs My Help Finding Their Serial Killers I'm Only One Click Away
- MI5 – So I Can Keep An Eye On The UK Threat Level
- NASA – So I Can Keep A Watch On What They're Up To In Space
- Pondlife – The Adventures Of A Large Herd Of Single-Celled Amoebas
- RAF – They Patrol The Dangerous Skies Above My House
- Stephen Hawking Tells Me Some Of The Things I Need To Know About The Universe
- This is Asda Where I Buy My Cumberland Sausages And Other Shopping
- White, Pink, Brown Noise
KILL ME NOW, I’M AN AWARD SLUT
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
ANYONE WANT TO ARGUE?
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
Really Shitey Shite
It’s All Old Shite
- June 2013 (4)
- October 2012 (3)
- September 2012 (14)
- August 2012 (27)
- July 2012 (34)
- June 2012 (36)
- May 2012 (36)
- April 2012 (38)
- March 2012 (43)
- February 2012 (47)
- January 2012 (27)
- December 2011 (6)
Dotty’s Filing Cabinet
Cumberland Sausages I Love You
EAT ME, EAT ME!
Maggie O'C
/ August 15, 2012Dear Dotty,
Brilliant, always brilliant. You should leave your house and go find a publisher.
Love,
maggie
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 15, 2012Dear Maggie,
I know a Latin publisher. I might invite him round for teadium. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
stuff I said
/ August 15, 2012Dear Dotty,
As soon as I can stop my dyslexic brain from spinning I will come back and read this again. I am sure it is brilliant!
xx
Red
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 15, 2012Dear Red,
Sorry!
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ August 15, 2012Genius :)
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear Rachel,
Et tu, Rachel. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
prewitt1970
/ August 15, 2012At first I thought oh dear, she gone completely mad, then once my brain stopped exploding I realized it’s really rather brilliant. :-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear Benjamin,
Your first thought was correct. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Quieter Elephant
/ August 15, 2012As a newcomer to your comment sections, I’ve only just twigged the format. Apologies for previous transgressions. So here goes:
Expensive Dotty,
“dribblidrooli beestibum” is one of my favourites, it has to be said.
So hard to find these days, don’t you think?
Irrelevantly,
QE
(Non modo… sed etiam. Yes, I really DID learn Latin at school. I think some of the teachers spoke it at home. It was Bradford.)
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear QE,
Latin was widely spoken in Bradford for years, but it died out when they pulled down the Meat Market.
Love Dotty xxx
Quieter Elephant
/ August 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
You mean Lumb Lane/Manningham Lane has gone? I thought the ladies would have relocated. Oops sorry – am I being indelicate?
Love QE
x (No tongues – we’ve only just met)
PS: I once knew how to sing The Wombling Song in Latin! That’s grammar schools for you…
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 17, 2012Dear QE,
Lumb Lane has gone, actually – well, it hasn’t, but the ladies have – they’re on Thornton Road now.
Love Dotty xxx
Quieter Elephant
/ August 17, 2012Dear Dotty,
Ah – schoolboy memories…
Love QE
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 17, 2012Dear QE,
I didn’t need to know that.
Love Dotty xxx
Quieter Elephant
/ August 17, 2012Dear Dotty,
I didn’t say they were MY memories…
I was pure in thought and deed. Like a NYC Catholic Priest.
Love QE
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 19, 2012Dear QE,
That’s all right then.
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ August 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
Mirabile dictu!
Love,
Judith 8-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear Judith,
Gratias tibula fibula ago. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ August 16, 2012Frumious.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear Misfit,
Benigne dikibird.
Love Dotty xxx
Seb
/ August 16, 2012Imagine my surprise, after returning form a pleasant evening at the vomitorium to find this. Suffice to say I veni’d, I vidi’d and it vici’d
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear Seb,
In vomere emeticus upchukium.
Love Dotty xxx
poetmcgonagall
/ August 16, 2012The benefits of a classical education…
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear poet,
I didn’t have one. Does it show? :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Sword-chinned bitch
/ August 16, 2012Suffice it to say, this is absolutely E pluribus unum. U r Brillianticus!
Sword-chinned bitch
/ August 16, 2012Oh how unoriginal as I sufficed it to said the same thing as Seb — whose reference to a vomitorium made me very nostalgic, btw.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear Swordy,
AmericanAmericanus emeticus ondi shoo.
Love Dotty xxx
Sword-chinned bitch
/ August 16, 2012Fistula oolong oblongata.
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 16, 2012Dear Swordy,
Rotarium rolexonristi.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ August 16, 2012You make fake latin poetry sexy again…
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 17, 2012Dear pmao,
HA! :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Kathy V.
/ August 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
How do you breathe with so much clever in your head?
Love,
Kathy
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 17, 2012Dear Kathy,
It’s not clever that’s in my head, it’s shite. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
Kathy V.
/ August 17, 2012Dear Dotty,
I respectfully disagree.
Love,
Kathy
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 17, 2012Dear Kathy,
Thank you, but it’s true. SHITEY DRIVEL and 30 WAYS TO COOK A CUMBERLAND SAUSAGE. That’s what I know.
Love Dotty xxx
EllaDee
/ August 16, 2012How did you do that? Poemi Classicus was the perfect descriptor of my Thursday. Do you have psychic powers?
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 17, 2012Dear Ella,
yes.
Love Dotty xxx
Hellosailor
/ August 22, 2012Dear Dotty,
“Fukadukius indi ear.”
FUCKING HILARIOUS! You have such a way with words Dotty.
Love HS xox
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 23, 2012Dear HS,
I had the right sort of education for it. ;-)
Love Dotty xxx
pennycoho
/ August 24, 2012You are simple wonderful. Funny and fun and so delightful irreverent. Just excellent! :)
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 26, 2012Dear Penny,
Hello :-)
Thank you. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 11, 2012Wonderful! I’m going to quote you when someone does something like run over my toes in a supermarket with a trolley and not apologise – I shall use my Dotty verbal weapon!
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 11, 2012Dear loony,
Verbal weapons are all well and good if they’re accompanied by a swift kick on the rude person’s shin. :-)
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 11, 2012Dear Dotty
So right, I also have a nice, sharp, pointy umbrella type parasol thingy which is extra lethal. Parasol combined with Dotty’s poem – what a team!
Love Loony. xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 12, 2012Dear loony,
And with your sharp, pointy parasol thingy you’ll never have to stretch to reach the lemons!! :-)
Love Dotty xxx
loonyliterature
/ September 12, 2012Dear Dotty
It is indeed a genius contraption.
Love Loony. xxx