I’ve made a new blog. It’s becoming a habit when I get too antsy and mental. Blog, blog, blog.
This is it, if you’re interested —
All posts tagged britain
Another New Dotty Blog
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on September 11, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/another-new-dotty-blog/
£148m Euromillions Winners Say It Won’t Change Them
The couple who won the Euromillions jackpot on Friday were just on the BBC News.
He doesn’t want to give up the music shop he owns.
They MIGHT buy a new house. At the end of the report, the reporter said “they said they won’t let it change them.” Meaning their win.
WHY THE FUCK DID THEY BUY A TICKET IN THE FIRST PLACE THEN?
If you don’t want your life to change DON’T BUY A TICKET. Leave the tickets for those of us who DO want our lives to change.
Am I jealous? YES I FUCKING WELL AM JEALOUS.
That was MY jackpot.
MY £148M.
Would I have let it change me?
FUCK, YES.
It’s not fair.
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on August 14, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/08/14/148m-euromillions-winners-say-it-wont-change-them/
I’m In A Bad Mood
I’m fucking foaming.
I want to batter someone.
THE BASTARD HITLER CAMERON, that’s who I want to batter.
With a metal bar, a big heavy rusty diseasy METAL BAR.
And all his TORY CABINET DEMONS, I want to batter them.
And all the FUCKING SANCTIMONIOUS MIDDLE-CLASS BASTARDS who voted THE CUNT into power.
Because that’s what he is, a CUNT.
I hate that word.
I never use it.
You won’t find it ANYWHERE in the posts or comments I’ve made, it’s the foulest, nastiest word in the English language but it’s the only appropriate word for him because he’s the FOULEST NASTIEST FUCKER in the country.
CAMERON THE CUNT.
If karma does exist and if it’s true that what goes around comes around, he’s in for it, BIG time. If the additional suffering he’s causing to people is added up and given back to him HE WILL SCREAM FOR ALL ETERNITY.
Roll on eternity.
CUNT.
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 28, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/28/im-in-a-bad-mood/
Yorkshire 2012 Olympickles
I thought I’d make a nice picture for tonight’s
OPENING CEREMONY of the OLYMPICKLES.
I’ll be ignoring the rest of it.
*
*
*
*
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 27, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/yorkshire-2012-olympickles/
Happy 5th July To All Americans
Okay, you’ve had long enough with this Independence shite to realise it’s time to come home to Mummy. We’ll have you back under our rule on one condition – you never, ever, ever allow
SIMON FUCK-FACE COWELL
or GORDON PLASTIC-FACE RAMSAY
to come back to Britain. You can do what you want with them.
In return, we’ll allow you to give us all your money, land, property and apple pie recipes.
Deal??
(you know you want to).
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 5, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/happy-5th-july-to-all-americans/
Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Slimey D. Scameron, The Sea Pig Prime Minister
Slimey D. Scameron is one of the most hated
Prime Ministers Britain has ever known.
This is the story of his life.
*
*
BABY SLIMEY
Slimey D. Scameron was neglected from a very early age.
Left out in the cold in all weathers, not a bonnet to keep his
tentacles warm, he knew that life would always be a
terrible struggle for him.
*
*
SCHOOLBOY SCAMERON
Waiting for his dinner in the dining hall of his boarding school,
Slimey D. Scameron dreaded the bullying taunts of his classmates.
Every single miserable day, when his dinner arrived and he started
to tuck in to the lovely grub, the name-calling began —
‘Scameron sea-pig the soup-sucker!’
Fat Scameron the sausage snaffler!
‘Gluttony hoggy food-pig!‘
and every single miserable day he left the dining hall in tears .
Poor Slimey D. Scameron.
*
*
SCAMERON THE STUDENT
Ignored and despised by scholars and professors,
Slimey D. Scameron spent his student years alone.
No wild, druggy parties for Slimey D. Scameron! No floozies!
No flights of fancy! No fun!
Just loneliness and misery and a longing for the day
when he could shoot them all.
*
*
PRIME MINISTER SCAMERON
He didn’t shoot the college up! Slimey D. Scameron found a better
way to get his own back on EVERYONE.
He became the PRIME MINISTER.
*
*
SLIMEY D. SCAMERON WITH THE QUEEN
And this is Slimey D. Scameron today,
walking companion of The Queen,
SUCCESSFUL and UNTOUCHABLE.
But at night, in bed, he still cries and cries
and sobs and sobs because with all his status
and power PEOPLE STILL CALL HIM NAMES.
Poor, poor Slimey D. Scameron.
*
*
*
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on June 24, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/shitey-sunday-picture-post-slimey-d-scameron-the-sea-pig-prime-minister/
Jubilee, Jubilee, Jubilee
For the Jubilee I’ve made a Photoshop picture, the second one I’ve ever made, and the first one I’ve done without any help. It’s crap but I like it and Kumblant loves it – he got to wear the diamonds. And he was allowed to eat the corgis when we’d finished.
*
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on June 4, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/jubilee-jubilee-jubilee/
THE BIG BLOG COLLECTION
GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
Dotty’s New Blog
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
ALL THE SHITEY SUNDAYS
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Sister Agony Auntie Dotty’s Problem Page
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
I LIKE THIS PICTURE
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
SWEAR SWEAR SWEAR AT JEMIMA
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
FOR AMERICANS ONLY
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
Dotty Headbanger’s Shitey Family – The Whole Sorry Story
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
A Very Nice Picture Of Kumblant
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
Dotty’s Doo Wop Collection
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
Mucky Ducky & Fucky Ducky – Poetry in motion
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
DOTTY’S PET BLOGS
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
DOTTY FILM REVIEWS
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
THE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
THE BRICK & SAUSAGE AWARD
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
A Dotty Award
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
THE BEST EVER BLOGGING AWARD WITH BINS IN THE PICTURE
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
DOTTY’S COLLECTED COUNTRIES
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Creepy & Freaky But True
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
FED UP OF FACEBOOK?
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
DOTTY PAVAROTTI, THE SINGING FISH
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
KILL ME NOW, I’M AN AWARD SLUT
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
ANYONE WANT TO ARGUE?
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
Really Shitey Shite
Cumberland Sausages I Love You
EAT ME, EAT ME!
