Dotty Film Review – Avatar

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

I KNOW WHY THE SMURFS AREN’T VISITING ME.

WHO DID IT TO THEM?

WHO?

WHY HAS NO ONE DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

CAMERON

OBAMA

OTHER LEADERS WITH BIG BOMBS

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES

IT’S AN

ATROCITY

TO ALLOW THIS SORT OF THING TO GO ON IN THIS DAY AND AGE

WHO TORTURED THEM?

WHO PUT THEM ON THE RACKS AND STRETCHED AND STRETCHED AND STRETCHED THEM?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO THE LITTLE SMURFS?

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THEM INTO BIG SKINNY THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE THE BFG BUT FLOPPIER AND UGLIER AND BLUER?

WHY?

AND THAT POOR FEMALE SMURF, THEY MADE HER INTO AN ABOMINATION AND SHE HAD TO SHAG THE HUMAN WHO BECAME A SMURF WHO ALSO GOT STRETCHED AND THEY MADE HER INTO AN

AVATART

AVATART

Score – 0 out of 10  because torture and cruelty should never be used as entertainment

Dotty Film Review – A Bronx Tale

 

 

I LOVE IT!

 

 

This is one of the best films ever made. I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it. I’ve watched it about 40 times over the years and I still love it. Nothing will ever take away my love for it.

I won’t tell you ANYTHING ABOUT IT because you need to see it and love it all for yourself. It has BRILLIANT MUSIC, a BRILLIANT STORY, BRILLIANT ACTING and I love it.

The only thing that puzzles me is why does Sonny have to die in all the Mafia films he appears in? He dies in The Godfather, he dies in A Bronx Tale. I’m not certain but he probably dies in Goodfellas too. And all the other Mafia films. I wasn’t so bothered when he died in The Godfather but when he dies in A Bronx Tale I cry. Always. Poor Calogero. And when the car burns with Calogero’s friends in it, I cry then as well because that’s a REALLY SAD BIT. And when Calogero is running to try and get there to warn them, I cry then as well because I know they’re dead but he doesn’t and that’s a REALLY, REALLY SAD BIT.

But there are loads and loads of bits that make me laugh – the bit where they lock the door of the bar and kick the shit out of all the biker gang, the bit where Sonny lends Calogero his car to go on his first date with Jane, the bit where they’re all sent into the toilet … there are too many funny bits to tell. I love it.

So if you’re looking for a film to love that will make you laugh and cry and want to watch it again and again, look no further, this is it. I LOVE IT.

 

Score — 100000 out of 10

 

 

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