I know everything there is to know about KNOWING NOTHING AT ALL which qualifies me to dispense as many wise words of wisdom as I feel like dispensing to educate the people who think they know everything about EVERYTHING.
I’ll begin with some well known idioms.
A fool and his money is a good friend to have.
A leopard can’t change his socks.
Every cloud has a bigger cloud following it.
A picture paints a thousand NOTHINGS because pictures can’t paint, you twat.
An apple a day keeps the dentist busy because eating so much natural sugar will ROT YOUR TEETH.
If the shoe fits, find the other one – one shoe is USELESS unless you only have one foot.
Don’t put all your eggs in your mouth at once. You’ll choke.
Out of sight, out of sight.
Blood is thicker than Absinthe, but it doesn’t taste as nice even when you combine the two to make a cocktail.
Too many cooks have undeclared dirty diseases. NEVER EAT ANYTHING YOU HAVEN’T COOKED YOURSELF.
A bird in the hand is worth ME PUNCHING YOU IN THE NECK. DON’T TOUCH THE LITTLE BIRDIES, YOU’LL SCARE THEM.
Feel free to add your own.
P.S. Yesterday I had a tomato with my breakfast Cumberland sausage sandwich. Today I had another tomato with my breakfast Cumberland sausage sandwich. I might have one again tomorrow and see where all this healthy eating takes me. Fuck, I might end up eating FRUIT in a few months time if I carry on like this.