It’s September. I’ve just noticed. Why does time go by so quickly in years and months but the minutes and hours and days just drag and drag and drag?
Anyway, hello September. It’s nice to see you again. I like your colours and your coolness and your promise of longer nights and shorter days and CHRISTMAS – I love Christmas when I’ve got the energy and the give-a-fuck (and the money) to love it and to do it all properly which I haven’t done for the last couple of years because of BEING MENTAL. I hope I’m not too mental for it this year.
September, September, September – I’ve been doing this blog for just short of nine months, the same amount of time it takes to grow a baby human. Is it a boy or a girl? Don’t be stupid, it’s not a BABY it’s a BLOG – so don’t rush out and start buying bonnets and bibs because THEY WON’T FIT, you’ll be wasting your money, you should spend it on presents for ME instead. But take note – I don’t want any of your PLASTIC TAT or NASTY PERFUMES, you should get me RUBIES, DIAMONDS, EMERALDS, PEARLS, SAPPHIRES (not OPALS, they’re unlucky), and BIG BOTTLES of COCO CHANEL (the only perfume I wear), or a new LAPTOP, or a new HOUSE, or you could just send me the money and I’ll choose my own presents so you don’t have to go to the bother of returning them when I open them up and shout “WHAT’S THIS FUCKING CHEAPCRACK SHITE SO-AND-SO HAS SENT ME?” and then I parcel it up again and send it back to you WITH NO STAMP ON IT.
And don’t be a meanie, don’t think I’ll be embarrassed by your generosity – yes I WILL be embarrassed but I’ll get over it, I have to learn to deal with negative emotions so the more generous you are the more you’ll be HELPING A MENTAL IN HER RECOVERY FROM HER MENTALNESS and if you’ve ANY COMPASSION IN YOU your reward will be a nice, warm, charitable glow in your benevolent little heart.
And it’ll be good practice for when Christmas comes and you have to GET ME MORE PRESENTS.
I like September.
Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 
Darren
/ September 7, 2012How about Opal Fruits (I’ll never accept them as Starburst!)? I could send you some of those, or are they unlucky as well?
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 7, 2012Dear Darren,
They’re very unlucky. I once choked on an Opal Fruit – no, wait a minute, it was a Refresher. Anyway, I don’t like them and I don’t like their new name and I don’t want any, thank you very much. I’ll have the money instead.
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ September 7, 2012LMAO. You are so great Dotty 😀
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 7, 2012Dear Mondrak,
How great? Send me money to the value of how great you think I am. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ September 7, 2012LMAO. I will stick an envelope in the post addressed to:
Dotty Headbanger
Somewhere on Earth
😉
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 7, 2012Dear Mondrak,
Thank you. I’ll look forward to receiving it – that’s if the postmen on Earth redirect it to the correct planet and it doesn’t get lost or stolen en route.
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ September 7, 2012Let’s hope not
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 7, 2012Dear Mondrak,
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
bpshielsy
/ September 7, 2012Happy September Dear Dotty 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 7, 2012Dear shielsy,
And Happy September to you too. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ September 7, 2012The cheque’s in the attic.
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear misfit,
Meanie.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ September 9, 2012Call me Jasper, I’m twirling my moustache right now.
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Jasper,
Huh,
Love Dotty xxx
Fish Out of Water
/ September 7, 2012Opals are little shiny orbs of bad luck, aren’t they? I inherited (stole) my sister’s opals when she passed many years ago and I have lost one of the pair of earrings and the chain to the pendant broke. Pearlescent bastards!
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Fish,
They are! They’re EVIL.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ September 7, 2012I send you my love… sorry I didn’t have time to wrap it…
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear pmao,
Thank you, that’s very nice of you, but I’d rather have diamonds.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ September 9, 2012My mine caved in.
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 10, 2012Dear pmao,
Get digging!
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ September 10, 2012Hi ho, hi ho…
Dorothy
/ September 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
September is a wonderful month because the screaming meemie children from my street are back in school too. No more little boys that sound like little girls. Soon the weather will cool off. Here it is still warm enough but getting cooler. I like Autumn too because everything gets dead!! but it gets colorful too, good for a photographer like me….we like dead colorful things. HAPPY SEPTEMBER DOTTY
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I like dead colourful things too. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
gingerfightback
/ September 7, 2012February is my favourite month Dotty
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear ginger,
My favourite month is December but I like other months.
Love Dotty xxx
Mel
/ September 7, 2012I have a big gigantic HUG for you.
Okay it’s slightly used…
Alright
Actually I’m re-gifting but…
It’s the thought that counts?
Happy September, Dotty
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Mel,
Thank you for the old hug, but I’d rather have rubies.
Love Dotty xxx
Judith Atwood
/ September 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
Just look at what you’ve done in 9 short months! Plus putting up with the roadworkers and their shit, and Lottie, and Scotty, and the two — I don’t remember — was it Terrors? Anyway, I love for you that you have maintained your lovely mentalness while publishing this blog, and I look so forward to reading more in the future!
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Judith,
Thank you. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Daniel
/ September 7, 2012Dear Dotty, I love september too and not because it’s my birthday. It’s just something about the magical transition of summer to autumn.
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Daniel,
I don’t love today – it’s too hot.
Love Dotty xxx
Threec
/ September 7, 2012Wow, look at all you’ve accomplished in one human gestational cycle. Just think where this blog will be in the time it takes to beget a baby elephant!
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Threec,
It’ll probably be a ghost blog, empty and echoey.
Love Dotty xxx
Seb
/ September 8, 2012If you recover from your mentalness, will your blog still be entertaining?
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Seb,
I don’t know… are normal people entertaining?
Love Dotty xxx
Angel Fractured
/ September 8, 2012Aw. But opals are my birthstone. Giving you one would be pretty special.
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Angel,
Rubies are my birthstone, I’d prefer it if you gave me them, thank you. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Chris.
/ September 8, 2012Dear Dotty,
I like Christmas too. We never had Christmas as children. (True My family history is poor.) I’m making up for it with my children. I can see you need help too so I will send you lots of diamonds but I’m not sure which planet you’re on. Can you confirm which planet and post code please. How long it will take to get there too. If it’s anything as long as it took the Mars Rover Curiosity it could turn up late. I don’t want you to get your sparklies next year so you need to be quick. Happy September, oh it’s my birthday in October, (Only saying, not hinting.) Love from Christine from Planet Earth (the bottom bit.) xx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear Christine,
My address is –
Planet Dotty,
Galaxy of Nut,
Triverse of Dot.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Meine Mami didn’t have Christmas either. I cry when children don’t have Christmas. 😦
Chris.
/ September 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
So do I now but I’m not a child any more (Just act like one) so I’m OK.
Thanks for the prompt reply, diamonds are in the envelope and will be going soon. I DO hope you like them. You deserve the best (but they won’t be that good.) Happy September from Earthling Christine. xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 10, 2012Dear Christine,
Thank you very much. I’ll let you know when they arrive. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ September 8, 2012Dear Dotty!
I’ll almost be a year for the both of us!
Love xoxoxxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear PAZ,
I know. I tried to think of what’s changed in that time for me – and the answer is NOTHING. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ September 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
AWww. 😦 HUGS. I thought about what’s changed for me and well, LOADS as you know. Yet nothing. heheh. I nearly died, but I’m no longer severely depressed. 🙂 It takes time darlin’, things will change. The only constant in live is change.
xoxoxxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 10, 2012Dear PAZ,
I know.
I’m glad you’re not so bad as you were. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ September 10, 2012Dear Dotty,
Thanks. I was in desperate need of some changes. A lot of shit’s still fucked but at least I’m not AS FUCKED UP. heheh.
I hope you get some changes your way too. You deserve it.
Love xoxoxxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 11, 2012Dear PAZ,
Thank you, m’dearie. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
unfetteredbs
/ September 9, 2012Happy September Indeed! Happy post…
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 9, 2012Dear bs,
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
kzackuslheureux
/ September 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
I was slighted a bit when I hear you dis my birth opal, and after how lovely they are, but something clicked when you said they were unlucky. My grandparents gave me a set when I was a little girl and some bitch lost one earring down the drain, and then my last huge honker, broke off the necklace. Maybe you’re right.
Love Always, Alphabet
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 10, 2012Dear Alphabet,
Read Fishy’s comment further up!! One earring, one necklace!!! See, I told you they’re unlucky!!!!
Love Dotty xxx
faithhopechocolate
/ September 11, 2012Happy September! It’s a good month that’s for sure – lovely sunsets, and the schools having gone back so here in Whitby one can walk along the beach in the middle of the day without tripping over a creature that’s only knee-high (unless it’s someone’s dog). And the beach and town are much emptier too, so that even someone with people phobia might be able to stomach it (well, definitely the beach, but I reckon the town might be a bit much).
Dotty Headbanger
/ September 12, 2012Dear fhc,
I miss beaches. I once got trapped on a big rock in front of the cliff when the tide came in on the way back from a walk along the beach to Filey. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx