Just one picture today. Yes I know it’s a piss poor Shitey Sunday Picture Post but it’s all you’re getting this week – and it made ME laugh. But I’m going to do a video post later so that’s a bonus. And I might even do a writing post if a miracle happens. You’ll be so sick of me by the end of today you’ll wish I’d never come back. (EVIL LAUGH GOES HERE BUT I’M NOT WRITING IT BECAUSE IT LOOKS STUPID AND I CAN’T REMEMBER HOW TO SPELL IT ANYWAY – MWWUUHAHA?? MUWHAHA? MOOOOHAAHAA?)
*
*
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 22, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/22/shitey-sunday-picture-post/
This song is BRILLIANT, the best version of it I’ve ever heard. It’s from Nowhere Boy, a film about John Lennon’s boyhood, and it’s sung by the actor who plays Lennon, Aaron Johnson. The video is a clip from the film. I won’t say anything about why but if you watch the film (and you should), when this song comes on you’ll be all teary (maybe not the men – but I might be wrong, the men might blub harder than the women).
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 18, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/a-song-from-nowhere-boy/
NASTY, NASTY FILM
What a nasty, creepy little film this is. I like creepy animated films – Tim Burton is brilliant – but this film is not only nasty and creepy, it’s nastily creepy and creepily nasty – it’s fucking HORRIBLE and I don’t mean a good horrible like a good horrible horror film can be, I mean HORRIBLE HORRIBLE like something a psycho sicked up and left to fester.
And it’s for CHILDREN. It’s meant for CHILDREN.
Unbelievable.
DON’T LET YOUR KIDS WATCH IT, MOTHERS or they’ll end up severely traumatised and disturbed and THEY WILL HATE AND FEAR AND MISTRUST YOU FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
I can’t see the point of the film – there IS no point unless it’s a sadistic one aimed at fucking up the minds of children (and adults). It looks to me like whoever made it is a MOTHER-HATING, CHILD-HATING MISOGYNISTIC SICK FUCK.
HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE HORRIBLE.
French and Saunders – shame on you.
Score – minus 500 out of 10
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on May 5, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/dotty-film-review-coraline/
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
I KNOW WHY THE SMURFS AREN’T VISITING ME.
WHO DID IT TO THEM?
WHO?
WHY HAS NO ONE DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
CAMERON
OBAMA
OTHER LEADERS WITH BIG BOMBS
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES
IT’S AN
TO ALLOW THIS SORT OF THING TO GO ON IN THIS DAY AND AGE
WHO TORTURED THEM?
WHO PUT THEM ON THE RACKS AND STRETCHED AND STRETCHED AND STRETCHED THEM?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO THE LITTLE SMURFS?
WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THEM INTO BIG SKINNY THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE THE BFG BUT FLOPPIER AND UGLIER AND BLUER?
WHY?
AND THAT POOR FEMALE SMURF, THEY MADE HER INTO AN ABOMINATION AND SHE HAD TO SHAG THE HUMAN WHO BECAME A SMURF WHO ALSO GOT STRETCHED AND THEY MADE HER INTO AN
AVATART
Score – 0 out of 10 because torture and cruelty should never be used as entertainment
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on April 2, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/dotty-film-review-avatar/
And today Harry the Plank Potter is wearing facial expression Number One
I have only two things to say about this film.
FIRST THING — THEY’VE COMPLETELY SLAUGHTERED SUSAN HILL’S BOOK
and
SECOND THING — HARRY POTTER CAN’T ACT – why would he even try to act, why would he want to put himself through the shame and humiliation when he doesn’t need to? HE’S A MAGICIAN, isn’t that good enough for him? He’s like these soap opera people who decide that because their CHARACTER is popular on a soap they’ll leave that soap because they’re too good for it, they want bigger things, better things and what happens after they leave is THEY ARE NEVER SEEN ON MY TELLY AGAIN. They disappear into the whirly voids of obscurity and spend the rest of their lives in deep despond about the GRAVE MISTAKE they made, and they watch their old soap and they see the people they used to work with IN STEADY EMPLOYMENT, ENJOYING THEIR STEADY MODICUM OF FAME and they cry and cry and cry. Sometimes they DO re-appear, like Ricky & Bianca & Mandy & David Wicks & Dennis Tanner and all the other old faces the telly companies hire back because THEY CAN PAY THEM LESS THAN OTHER ACTORS BECAUSE THEY ARE SO DESPERATE TO HAVE THEIR WORN AND TATTERED FACES ON MY TELLY AGAIN. Harry, you don’t need to be like them. A magician’s life is a good one. You can travel, you can have a laugh, you can do MAGIC and best of all YOU CAN BECOME FAMOUS like PAUL DANIELS. If VOLDEMORT could see you now he’d piss his pants laughing at your acting, in particular at your TWO FACIAL EXPRESSIONS (facial expression 1 – wooden / facial expression 2 – is it fear?). But why didn’t you use your magic on yourself? Or your invisible cloak, which actually is a brilliant idea – get them to remake the film with you wearing your invisible cloak over your head FOR THE WHOLE FILM. That would be a right laugh, they could still call it The Woman In Black or they could call it Headless Harry Potter in The Woman In Black Film.
CONFESSION — I haven’t actually seen the whole of The Woman In Black, I saw three clips of it but that was quite enough for me, thank you. From what I gather though, the whole film is nothing but Harry Potter and his TWO FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, some CREEPY LOCAL PEOPLE, a few TENSE MOMENTS, and a lot of bad weather.
Score – 4 out of 10 (I’ve marked this up by two points because I’m soft, I still like Harry, he’s young, bless him, and he did TRY).
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on February 23, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/dotty-film-review-the-woman-in-black/
I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF.
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on February 23, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/i-know-i-said-i-didnt-want-pobert-rattinsons-face-on-my-blog-but/
I'm not putting a picture of ugly Pobert on my little blog so you can look at the book instead
Pobert Rattinson (see Dotty’s Consonant Swap Game) is one of the ugliest fuckers ever to show himself on my telly. His face looks like someone smacked it repeatedly with a gravestone. He resembles Stefan Somerhalder (see Totty On The Telly), my lovely Ian Somerhalder’s ugly brother from THE VAMPIRE DIARIES.
In the films Pobert is a vampire and he has a girlfriend who is human. Ring any bells? Yes, of course it rings bells, a BIG fucking ding-a-ling of bells, because IT’S A COMPLETE RIP-OFF OF THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. And yes, I HAVE read the books, the first three anyway, and putting aside THE VAMPIRE DIARIES rip-off issue the books are a zillion times better than the films for these four reasons —
1. Pobert’s ugly face isn’t in the books.
2. Pobert’s ugly face isn’t in the books.
3. Pobert’s ugly face isn’t in the books.
4. HALF THE STORY IS MISSING.
So don’t bother watching these films, they’re shite. You should read the books instead – PROPER books with PAPER PAGES.
Score – 0 out of 10
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on February 22, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/short-dotty-film-review-of-all-the-twilight-films/
The other day I watched a film I’d recorded onto my telly-box library. It was called THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL which was a stupid, inaccurate title because the earth didn’t stand still – HOW COULD IT, YOU THICK SHITS? In fact there wasn’t much standing still at all and when Jennifer Connelly DID stand still a soldier on a winch dropped out of the sky and oiked her up into a helicopter. A better title is THE DAY THE EARTH CONTINUED TO SPIN – still not absolutely indicative of what the film is about, but a hundred times more accurate than the one they came up with. A PERFECT title is THE DAY KEANU REEVES DECIDED NOT TO DESTROY THE HUMAN RACE.
Don’t you think Jennifer Connelly looks like a young Demi Moore? I do.
Keanu Reeves is an alien. I never realised this but I should have because it explains his extraordinary abilities in THE MATRIX SERIES, which is a three part documentary about people who wear nothing but black clothes. I don’t think Sandra Bullock realised he was an alien either or she might have thought twice about falling in love with him when she lived in THE LAKE HOUSE.
Something else I find totally unbelievable in this film is how DOLORES CLAIBORNE got to be PRESIDENT MR BARACK OBAMA’S right-hand woman after what she did in her past when she was so sadistic to that poor author. AMERICAN PEOPLE, LISTEN TO ME – SHE MANGLED HIS LEGS UP, YOU KNOW SHE DID, YET YOU STILL HAVE HER IN A POSITION OF POWER. Why? What if she does it again and this time she does it to YOUR PRESIDENT, MR BARACK OBAMA? Don’t you care about him? Don’t you care what happens TO HIS LEGS?
And while you’re thinking about YOUR PRESIDENT, MR BARACK OBAMA’S legs, you might also want to think about Prince Will Smith of Bel-Air’s parenting skills because here in this country he’d be had up for CHILD NEGLECT for allowing a little kid like that to run round with AN ALIEN WHO WANTS TO DESTROY THE HUMAN RACE. Somebody needs to have a word with Prince Will Smith of Bel-Air and tell him you can’t just foist your kid off onto anyone who happens to pass by just because you’re royalty and you can’t be bothered with the little brat.
There ARE some good bits in this film though. The GREAT BIG BALL WITH A SWIRLY CLOUD INSIDE IT is a good bit. So is the GREAT BIG TRANSFORMER ROBOT except when he changes himself into A GREAT BIG SWARM OF INSECTS because I don’t like insects, they frighten me and I don’t know why Keanu didn’t just smite all the insects and creepy crawlies here on earth before he left to go back to his own planet. He could have at least done that for the human race – in the end he did fuck all for us, I don’t know why he bothered coming.
Score – 2 out of 10
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on February 22, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/dotty-film-reviews-the-day-the-earth-stood-still/
GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
EAT ME, EAT ME!
Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 