KUMBLANT ZOZEECH YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHITE!!

 

The wanky little git has conned his way into the Olympic Opening Ceremony! I’m watching him NOW.

 

Yorkshire 2012 Olympickles

I thought I’d make a nice picture for tonight’s

OPENING CEREMONY of the OLYMPICKLES.

I’ll be ignoring the rest of it.

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Shitey Sunday Picture Post – This Is Very Funny If I Do Say So Myself And You Should Look At It And Laugh And Laugh And Laugh

 

I know it’s Saturday, not Sunday, but tomorrow I’ll be watching the Final so I’m doing the Shitey Sunday post today instead. It’s about ANDY MURRAY. Have you heard of him?

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THIS IS ANDY A SPLIT SECOND BEFORE HE SWALLOWED A TENNIS BALL 

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CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, ANDY! CLOSE IT!

DON’T LET IT IN!

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GULP!

GULP!

NO, IT’S STUCK.

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AND THEN IT WENT DOWN A BIT – BUT IT GOT STUCK

IN HIS THROAT AND HE HAD TO  SPEND AN HOUR

COMMUNICATING WITH THE COSMOS

TO GET IT TO SLIDE ALL THE WAY DOWN

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IT’S A MIRACLE!

THE UNIVERSE ANSWERED HIS PLEAS

AND MADE THE TENNIS BALL PLUMMET STRAIGHT

THROUGH HIS BODY ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HIS CROTCH

AND HE WAS ABLE TO PLAY AGAIN!

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ABRACADABRA!

ALAKAZAM!

HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT???

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“FUCK OFF, I’M NOT TELLING YOU HOW I DID IT!

STOP ASKING ME!

YES, TWAT, I DO HAVE A SPHINCTER.

YOU’RE MENTAL, THE LOT OF YOU.

FUCK OFF AND LET ME CONCENTRATE ON MY GAME

OR I’LL PLAY LIKE SHITE AND THEN I’LL TAKE MY BAT HOME

AND YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF.”

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GOOD LUCK, ANDY!

WE LOVE YOU!

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Watch Your Balls, Federer – Andy Is A Crack Shot

 

This is what he did to Tsonga today.

Sorry for all the posts, but I had to show you.

He belted the ball back at him, right into his bollocks.

A few seconds later and Tsonga was down.

Someone in the crowd shouted ‘New balls, please!’

And John  McEnroe wanted Hawkeye to judge where the ball had hit.

Good shot, Andy!

In revenge, Tsonga CHALLENGED Andy’s winning shot.

And I’m 100% certain that, during the match when Tsonga was dillying a bit over some balls (not his own), Andy called him a TWAT (my lip-reading skills are fantastic).

 

 

WIMBLEDON, WIMBLEDON, WIMBLEDON – I LOVE ANDY

 

HE’S THROUGH TO THE FINAL!!!!

 

GO ON, ANDY!!

 

DO YOUR COSMIC ORDERING A LITTLE BIT MORE AND YOU’LL WIN!!!

 

 

AND ON SUNDAY MAKE SURE YOU SMASH A SHOT AT FEDERER’S BOLLOCKS

LIKE YOU DID TO TSONGA TODAY!!! HA HA HA HA HA ! THAT WAS FUNNY –

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS CURLED UP ON THE GROUND AND SOMEONE

IN THE CROWD SHOUTED ‘NEW BALLS PLEASE!!’

 

 

 

 

 

Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Andy Again

After last night’s BRILLIANT match, here’s Andy Murray again. Just one picture this time, and a link to the

Shitey Sunday Picture Post he starred in a few weeks ago when I got him ready for Wimbledon.

Here’s the link  — ANDY MURRAY  —-

and here’s the picture —

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The Egg Is Nowhere To Be Found But I’ve Never Reblogged My Own Stuff (Or Anyone Else’s)…

 

… and I’m not going to start now even though I have nothing to say. Wordy block is back, big time, but it’s not MY fault, it’s little Emily’s fault and Kumblant’s fault and whatever they are plotting’s fault and the gasmen’s fault and Lottie’s fault and Photoshop’s fault and my Cumberland sausages’ fault and the egg that rolled out of the egg carton under the cabinet’s fault (I CAN’T FIND THE FUCKING EGG, WHERE IS IT? AN EGG CAN’T JUST DISAPPEAR, CAN IT?) and the grey day’s fault and something else’s fault that I can’t remember right now but whatever it is it’s to blame.

And why is there only ONE programme on telly for the whole of the week? Fucking FOOTBALL. Not just British football, but foreign EUROPEAN football. AND THEY’VE TAKEN THE SOAPS OFF TO SHOW IT. Even if you don’t like the soaps you have to agree with the fact that soaps are the bread and butter of the telly companies, they attract regular loyal viewers, but when it comes to showing SHITEY SPORT they treat their regular loyal viewers with disdain and contempt. And there’s no excuse for it now everything is on digital tellY, they could each get their own FREEVIEW SPORTS CHANNEL to show all the shitey sport they want to show. If you want to see how much fucking football is on telly this week go and look at my guide. FUCKING WANKING TELLY BASTARDS.

Will the egg hatch under my kitchen cabinet? I’m scared of chickens, they give me the creeps if I see them in any form other than just roasted.

And why is it so cold?

OY, WEATHER, WE’RE IN JUNE, YOU STUPID TWAT. GET WARM.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HERE, CHICKY-CHICKY-CHICKY, COME TO DOTTY!

 

 

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