The wanky little git has conned his way into the Olympic Opening Ceremony! I’m watching him NOW.
All posts tagged sport
KUMBLANT ZOZEECH YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHITE!!
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 27, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/kumblant-zozeech-you-sneaky-little-shite/
Yorkshire 2012 Olympickles
I thought I’d make a nice picture for tonight’s
OPENING CEREMONY of the OLYMPICKLES.
I’ll be ignoring the rest of it.
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Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 27, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/yorkshire-2012-olympickles/
Shitey Sunday Picture Post – This Is Very Funny If I Do Say So Myself And You Should Look At It And Laugh And Laugh And Laugh
I know it’s Saturday, not Sunday, but tomorrow I’ll be watching the Final so I’m doing the Shitey Sunday post today instead. It’s about ANDY MURRAY. Have you heard of him?
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THIS IS ANDY A SPLIT SECOND BEFORE HE SWALLOWED A TENNIS BALL
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CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, ANDY! CLOSE IT!
DON’T LET IT IN!
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GULP!
GULP!
NO, IT’S STUCK.
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AND THEN IT WENT DOWN A BIT – BUT IT GOT STUCK
IN HIS THROAT AND HE HAD TO SPEND AN HOUR
COMMUNICATING WITH THE COSMOS
TO GET IT TO SLIDE ALL THE WAY DOWN
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IT’S A MIRACLE!
THE UNIVERSE ANSWERED HIS PLEAS
AND MADE THE TENNIS BALL PLUMMET STRAIGHT
THROUGH HIS BODY ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HIS CROTCH
AND HE WAS ABLE TO PLAY AGAIN!
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ABRACADABRA!
ALAKAZAM!
HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT???
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“FUCK OFF, I’M NOT TELLING YOU HOW I DID IT!
STOP ASKING ME!
YES, TWAT, I DO HAVE A SPHINCTER.
YOU’RE MENTAL, THE LOT OF YOU.
FUCK OFF AND LET ME CONCENTRATE ON MY GAME
OR I’LL PLAY LIKE SHITE AND THEN I’LL TAKE MY BAT HOME
AND YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF.”
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GOOD LUCK, ANDY!
WE LOVE YOU!
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Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 7, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/07/shitey-sunday-picture-post-this-is-very-funny-if-i-do-say-so-myself-and-you-should-look-at-it/
Watch Your Balls, Federer – Andy Is A Crack Shot
This is what he did to Tsonga today.
Sorry for all the posts, but I had to show you.
He belted the ball back at him, right into his bollocks.
A few seconds later and Tsonga was down.
Someone in the crowd shouted ‘New balls, please!’
And John McEnroe wanted Hawkeye to judge where the ball had hit.
Good shot, Andy!
In revenge, Tsonga CHALLENGED Andy’s winning shot.
And I’m 100% certain that, during the match when Tsonga was dillying a bit over some balls (not his own), Andy called him a TWAT (my lip-reading skills are fantastic).
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 6, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/watch-your-balls-federer-andy-is-a-crack-shot/
WIMBLEDON, WIMBLEDON, WIMBLEDON – I LOVE ANDY
HE’S THROUGH TO THE FINAL!!!!
GO ON, ANDY!!
DO YOUR COSMIC ORDERING A LITTLE BIT MORE AND YOU’LL WIN!!!
AND ON SUNDAY MAKE SURE YOU SMASH A SHOT AT FEDERER’S BOLLOCKS
LIKE YOU DID TO TSONGA TODAY!!! HA HA HA HA HA ! THAT WAS FUNNY –
ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS CURLED UP ON THE GROUND AND SOMEONE
IN THE CROWD SHOUTED ‘NEW BALLS PLEASE!!’
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 6, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/wimbledon-wimbledon-wimbledon-i-love-andy/
Shitey Sunday Picture Post – Andy Again
After last night’s BRILLIANT match, here’s Andy Murray again. Just one picture this time, and a link to the
Shitey Sunday Picture Post he starred in a few weeks ago when I got him ready for Wimbledon.
Here’s the link — ANDY MURRAY —-
and here’s the picture —
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Posted by Dotty Headbanger on July 1, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/shitey-sunday-picture-post-andy-again/
The Egg Is Nowhere To Be Found But I’ve Never Reblogged My Own Stuff (Or Anyone Else’s)…
… and I’m not going to start now even though I have nothing to say. Wordy block is back, big time, but it’s not MY fault, it’s little Emily’s fault and Kumblant’s fault and whatever they are plotting’s fault and the gasmen’s fault and Lottie’s fault and Photoshop’s fault and my Cumberland sausages’ fault and the egg that rolled out of the egg carton under the cabinet’s fault (I CAN’T FIND THE FUCKING EGG, WHERE IS IT? AN EGG CAN’T JUST DISAPPEAR, CAN IT?) and the grey day’s fault and something else’s fault that I can’t remember right now but whatever it is it’s to blame.
And why is there only ONE programme on telly for the whole of the week? Fucking FOOTBALL. Not just British football, but foreign EUROPEAN football. AND THEY’VE TAKEN THE SOAPS OFF TO SHOW IT. Even if you don’t like the soaps you have to agree with the fact that soaps are the bread and butter of the telly companies, they attract regular loyal viewers, but when it comes to showing SHITEY SPORT they treat their regular loyal viewers with disdain and contempt. And there’s no excuse for it now everything is on digital tellY, they could each get their own FREEVIEW SPORTS CHANNEL to show all the shitey sport they want to show. If you want to see how much fucking football is on telly this week go and look at my guide. FUCKING WANKING TELLY BASTARDS.
Will the egg hatch under my kitchen cabinet? I’m scared of chickens, they give me the creeps if I see them in any form other than just roasted.
And why is it so cold?
OY, WEATHER, WE’RE IN JUNE, YOU STUPID TWAT. GET WARM.
HERE, CHICKY-CHICKY-CHICKY, COME TO DOTTY!
Posted by Dotty Headbanger on June 11, 2012
https://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/2012/06/11/the-egg-is-nowhere-to-be-found-but-i-have-never-reblogged-my-own-stuff-or-anyone-elses/
THE BIG BLOG COLLECTION
GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
Dotty’s New Blog
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
ALL THE SHITEY SUNDAYS
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Sister Agony Auntie Dotty’s Problem Page
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
I LIKE THIS PICTURE
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
SWEAR SWEAR SWEAR AT JEMIMA
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
FOR AMERICANS ONLY
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
Dotty Headbanger’s Shitey Family – The Whole Sorry Story
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
A Very Nice Picture Of Kumblant
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
Dotty’s Doo Wop Collection
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
Mucky Ducky & Fucky Ducky – Poetry in motion
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
DOTTY’S PET BLOGS
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
DOTTY FILM REVIEWS
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
THE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
THE BRICK & SAUSAGE AWARD
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
A Dotty Award
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
THE BEST EVER BLOGGING AWARD WITH BINS IN THE PICTURE
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
DOTTY’S COLLECTED COUNTRIES
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Creepy & Freaky But True
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
FED UP OF FACEBOOK?
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
DOTTY PAVAROTTI, THE SINGING FISH
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
KILL ME NOW, I’M AN AWARD SLUT
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
ANYONE WANT TO ARGUE?
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
Really Shitey Shite
Cumberland Sausages I Love You
EAT ME, EAT ME!
Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 