I haven’t been on the laptop to do today’s post until now because after my breakfast I COULDN’T FUCKING MOVE because of all the food I had to eat. And I COULDN’T FUCKING MOVE last night either to do the comments – that’s two nights in a row I haven’t answered comments because of THESE STUPID FUCKING DIETS. And I’ve put on FOUR POUNDS in a day and a half. And I can’t afford all the food for the twelve diets I was on – THEY’RE A FUCKING RIP-OFF – so I’m going back to eating what I normally eat, I’ll just cut it in half. But not today, today I’m not eating ANYTHING ELSE.
Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 
John Phillips
/ June 16, 2012Love it, to funny
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 16, 2012Dear John,
It doesn’t feel funny. It feels very uncomfortable.
Love Dotty xxx
Grumpy
/ June 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
You are a glutton … for punishment! Diets are a waste of time and effort. Just simply cut down on the quantity of the shite you like. Mind you, I like a fat arse 😉
My electric fan oven died 30 minutes before my guests arrived on Thursday evening. My gourmet dinner was fucked. Luckily, the CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES I had in the fridge saved the day.
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 16, 2012Dear Grumpy,
What do you mean your gourmet dinner was fucked? You can’t get any more gourmet than CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES!!
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ June 16, 2012And another heroic dieter bites the dust–which may be the only thing we need-to-diet dieters should probably be eating;-)
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
Does dust come in Cumberland sausage flavour? 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Grumpy
/ June 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
Yes, they were nice! 😉
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Grumpy,
Good. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
thelastsongiheard
/ June 16, 2012LOL I’ve lost weight… I’ve cut out soda, beer and have made better eating choices. I also go on the treadmill twice a week and sweat for thirty minutes. I was surprised that it didn’t require more work honestly… but I’ve already had to buy new clothes and am always pleased to see my waistline go down 🙂
Diets don’t work. Changing your lifestyle – and being happy with your choices – does 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear tlsih,
I agree, I was stupid to do my diets, I’m going to do healthy eating and half-sized portions from now on. I’ve been trying to find a way to cut my plates in half without them smashing. Would a tile-cutter work?
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ June 16, 2012How’s that working for you?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Robin,
Good, so far. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ June 16, 2012Dear Dotty,
Sounds to me like a terrific idea!
Love, Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Judith,
I hope it works.
Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ June 16, 2012Dotty,
Add a sprinkle of nitrates on your food and all will be well.
Le Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear clown,
Will it affect the laudanum?
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 17, 2012what on earth is a diet?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Sacha,
A stupid idea, that’s what it is.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 21, 2012then bin it immediately….if you haven’t already….
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 21, 2012Dear sacha,
I have.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 21, 2012phew; now you’ve room for all those other antics
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 22, 2012Dear Sacha,
What antics? I live a quiet, solitary life in my house. Nothing happens to me.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 23, 2012then there’s an imposter who’s been writing all sorts of weird and wonderful things about you!
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 23, 2012Dear sacha,
Oh dear. I’m scared now.
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Go and look at my new blog – it’s for advertising your own blog.
sacha1nch1
/ June 24, 2012on my way
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 25, 2012Dear sacha,
Did you get lost? Have you been kidnapped? I’m not paying the ransom.
Love Dotty xxx
sacha1nch1
/ June 27, 2012i went there, didn’t really know how to do whatever it was that you wanted me to do, and then i was away for two days….but i’m going to try really hard today
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 29, 2012Dear Sacha,
I’m going to do some posts at some point to make it clearer.
Love Dotty xxx
Missus Tribble
/ June 17, 2012Dear Dotty,
Dieting is indeed shite – there is really no such thing as dieting, more like healthy eating. So you won’t even have to give up your CUMBERLAND SAUSAGES 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 17, 2012Dear Missus Tribble,
I know!! Cumberland sausages are the healthiest of health foods. I’ll buy some wholemeal bread for my sandwiches. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ June 18, 2012Hey, you made it what? Four days? Celebrate with some ice cream! OO>>>
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 18, 2012Dear Brick,
I love you.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ June 18, 2012Now you have me blushing….. 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 20, 2012Dear Brick,
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ June 19, 2012Have you tried moderation? Or just 5 diets at a time? Or maybe tofu sausages?
Dotty Headbanger
/ June 20, 2012Dear pmao,
Vegetarian shite can be fattier than proper fatty shite (not to say Cumberland sausages are fatty or shite).
Love Dotty xxx