I know it’s Saturday, not Sunday, but tomorrow I’ll be watching the Final so I’m doing the Shitey Sunday post today instead. It’s about ANDY MURRAY. Have you heard of him?
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THIS IS ANDY A SPLIT SECOND BEFORE HE SWALLOWED A TENNIS BALL
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CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, ANDY! CLOSE IT!
DON’T LET IT IN!
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GULP!
GULP!
NO, IT’S STUCK.
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AND THEN IT WENT DOWN A BIT – BUT IT GOT STUCK
IN HIS THROAT AND HE HAD TO SPEND AN HOUR
COMMUNICATING WITH THE COSMOS
TO GET IT TO SLIDE ALL THE WAY DOWN
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IT’S A MIRACLE!
THE UNIVERSE ANSWERED HIS PLEAS
AND MADE THE TENNIS BALL PLUMMET STRAIGHT
THROUGH HIS BODY ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HIS CROTCH
AND HE WAS ABLE TO PLAY AGAIN!
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ABRACADABRA!
ALAKAZAM!
HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT???
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“FUCK OFF, I’M NOT TELLING YOU HOW I DID IT!
STOP ASKING ME!
YES, TWAT, I DO HAVE A SPHINCTER.
YOU’RE MENTAL, THE LOT OF YOU.
FUCK OFF AND LET ME CONCENTRATE ON MY GAME
OR I’LL PLAY LIKE SHITE AND THEN I’LL TAKE MY BAT HOME
AND YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF.”
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GOOD LUCK, ANDY!
WE LOVE YOU!
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Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 
Daniel
/ July 7, 2012he’s an ugly brute and no mistake…xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear Daniel,
Aaaw, bless him. But he’s not as ugly as Federer. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Daniel
/ July 8, 2012Dear Dotty
At least Andy seems to be a good loser! That’s worth any amount of good looks. Chin up! D
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Daniel,
Andy lost. And he cried. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
unfetteredbs
/ July 7, 2012oh how you do make me laugh Dear Dotty :0) Good luck to your bloke, Andy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear bs,
Keep your fingers crossed! And your toes, and your eyes and anything else you’re able to cross. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Madame Weebles
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
You’re brilliant. Truly.
xoxo Mme Weebles
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear Mme Weebles,
ANDY is brilliant. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
This Andy guy is kinda cute when he’s telling, or rather yelling at the lot of us to fuck off!
Love xoxoxxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear PAZ,
He’s not TOO ugly, he just has a malleable face. 😉
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
If he had a beard, just a little bushel at least, had some glasses and maybe a joke and a tattoo up his sleeve, he’d be the reflection of my kind of dream boy. mehehe.
Love xoxoxxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear PAZ,
He had a little bit of beardy bum-fluff the other day. He might still have it tomorrow. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
PAZ
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
He does have a very malleable face. Very true. Very true Dotty.
Love xoxoxxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear PAZ,
If he doesn’t win tomorrow (which he will), he can still become a British champion if he enters the British Gurning Championships. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Grumpy
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
Have a lovely Sunday watching Andy. Really hope he makes it!
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear Grumpy,
So do I! It’s going to be a humdinger of a match. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ July 7, 2012He sure makes faces, doesn’t he . . .
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear Robin,
He’d make a good actor.
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ July 7, 2012In horror movies.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear Robin,
Yep. He looks like a werewolf in one of the other posts I did.
Love Dotty xxx
WeeGee
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
I agree with everything apart from the bit about Federer being ugly. When I grow up I’m going to marry Roger so he can’t possibly be ugly. Still, I hope Andy wins – national pride and all that.
Enjoy!
Love WeeGee xx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 7, 2012Dear WeeGee,
You too (will you be watching it?).
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Federer IS ugly. 😉
WeeGee
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
I will absolutley be watching with knobs on (whatever that means)
Love WeeGee
P.S. Oh no he isn’t. Did you see the bit about us getting married…. 😉
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear WeeGee,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
WeeGee
/ July 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
I sobbed, even though I am a little bit in love with Roger. Poor Andy.
Love WeeGee xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear WeeGee,
So did I. So did Andy. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
Smaktakula
/ July 7, 2012Thank you for continuing to make tennis interesting. And although it’s Saturday here, it may be Wednesday in the UK for all I know.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Smak,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
Christine.
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
How did you get such FAB pictures? This was hilarious. I loved it. Thank you so much. He has a rather large Adam’s apple, I mentioned that to the other half yesterday. I will be sat with my friend watching the final tomorrow and willing Andy to do it. He has to. Federer is ugly too. Sorry to anyone that may offend but I don’t care. Andy to win.
Come on Andy!!!!!
Love Chris.
xx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Christine,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
Christine.
/ July 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
I know. So sad. I did a post on him showing my support. He is so underestimated by some people. He did really well and the reason he lost was because he’d hurt himself with the falls he had. He could’ve beaten the Swiss Roger if he didn’t lose his confidence. I’ve been too upset to talk about it at work but I think I’m getting over it. Bless Andy, he did so well. 😦
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Christine,
He did – and I reckon if the roof hadn’t closed he’d have beaten him.
I’m not getting your posts in my email – fucking WordPress fucking up again. I’ll do what I’ve had to do with other blogs it’s happened with – I’ll unfollow you then click follow again to see if that works.
Love Dotty xxx
Christine.
/ July 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
Thanks. Yes I thought it was down to the roof too. Federer didn’t need to win again really. Give someone else a chance and don’t be greedy, Roger. I was quite surprised that the Queen or another senior royal wasn’t there to support him. I know Kate and sister were there but the Queen would’ve been better. (I know Cliff was there but he’s only a queen in the other sense. Sorry Cliff, it had to be said) I hope you unfollowing me works. Love Chris 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Christine,
Yes, me too – Prince William was there with Kate the other day, he could have turned up for the final. The Queen used to go, didn’t she, I’m sure I remember her at other finals.
Yes, the unfollowing worked – I’ve had an email notification of your latest post (haven’t read it yet, I’m still trying to get through the big backlog of emails!)
🙂
Love Dotty xxx
joehoover
/ July 7, 2012Brilliant!
Are you one of those tennis louts I read about?
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Joe,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 7, 2012Dear Dotty,
He’s an interesting looking man and seems to be very talented with his balls….he also seems to be sprouting breasts..hmmm
Love Dorothy
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Dorothy,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ July 8, 2012Dear Dotty, Darling,
I love how you make me laugh! Have fun watching on Sunday, and best of luck to your boy, Andy. Now that I think of it, he might be a lot of fun in ways that have nothing to do with tennis, but may have to do with balls! 😎 Cheers!
Love, Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Judith,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
wifemeetslife
/ July 8, 2012Oh my. That was quite the magic trick he (and you) managed to pull off. Thanks for the laugh!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear wml,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
John the Aussie
/ July 8, 2012G’day Dotty,
You are a comedic genius.
John
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear John,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
John the Aussie
/ July 9, 2012Gday Dotty,
That’s ok, when found, you’ll be super excited…. Like a one legged nun on a pogo stick.
John.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear John,
I’m glad you said one legged and not no legs.
Love Dotty xxx
Fish Out of Water
/ July 8, 2012I don’t know shite about tennis, but I do know you’re spectacular.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Fishy,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
Russel Ray Photos
/ July 8, 2012I’m watching Andy right now. Just broke Federer to go up 5-4 in the first set.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Russel,
Hello. 🙂
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
saradraws
/ July 8, 2012This almost makes me care about tennis.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Sara,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ July 8, 2012Is that a tennis ball in his pocket, or is he just glad to see you?
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ July 9, 2012I’m sorry!;-(
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
Thank you. So am I. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 8, 2012that was hilarious!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Brick,
Andy lost. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 9, 2012I saw that….I was hoping you didn’t crawl back under that bed
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Brick,
I went back under the floorboards for a while. Then I came out.
Love Dotty xxx
Tammy @ LaughingAtEverydayLife
/ July 9, 2012lol
unfetteredbs
/ July 8, 2012Dear Dotty-
I’m terribly sorry your favorite bloke couldn’t muster the win…. hope you are weathering his loss ok.
Unfettered
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear bs,
Andy lost. And he cried. 😦
Love Dotty xxx
rachelmiller1511
/ July 9, 2012Dear Dotty-the-award-slut,
Here’s another one:
Love Rachel 🙂
xxx
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Rachel,
Thank you. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Maggie O'C
/ July 9, 2012Dear Dotty,
So if Andy lost? Who won? Was it Roger Federer? Was I right that Roger Federer would win. I think I was. Maggie was right.
Love,
Maggie xo
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 9, 2012Dear Maggie,
Roger earnt it. And you’ve earnt a Three Bins of Blogging Award for beating me. That’s the second time I’ve been beaten this week, WeeGee got me the other day. I’m never right now. I’m going to cry again.
Love Dotty xxx
butimbeautiful
/ July 14, 2012I did! I laughed and laughed and laughed and…did you say AM has a sphincter!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 14, 2012Dear butimbeautiful,
I hope he does. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Charron's Chatter
/ July 22, 2012Brilliant montage! I AM laughing!! 🙂
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 23, 2012Dear Charron,
Hello. 🙂
Thank you. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
fiztrainer
/ August 5, 2012LOLOL! That was amazing! 😀
Dotty Headbanger
/ August 5, 2012Dear fiz,
Thank you. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx