Sorry I didn’t do a post yesterday, I was counting my hair.
147245 – twenty three fewer hairs than last month.
I’m going bald.
And I’m scared of WIGS.
I have a WIG PHOBIA.
WIGS freak me out completely.
I don’t want to wear a WIG.
I don’t want to.
Previous Post
Suspicious Things Happening On My Street
Suspicious Things Happening On My Street
THE BIG BLOG COLLECTION
GO AND ADD YOUR BLOG TO THE LISTS. AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS FOLLOW.
Dotty’s New Blog
This is my new blog, Common Sense Is Dead
ALL THE SHITEY SUNDAYS
Shitey Sunday Picture Posts - Click on the big doomy cross to get to the list
Sister Agony Auntie Dotty’s Problem Page
Go here if you need advice. Click on her big red cross.
I LIKE THIS PICTURE
It's an endearing picture of an amateur trepanner. It reminds me of me before I turned pro, though it's obviously a male and I'm obviously not a male. Do you like it too? If so, click on his X shaped eye.
SWEAR SWEAR SWEAR AT JEMIMA
If this evil doll, whose name is Jemima, came and woke me up in the night I would swear and swear like a fucking trooper. To learn how to swear like a fucking trooper, CLICK ON JEMIMA'S EVIL EYE.
FOR AMERICANS ONLY
Are you American? Do you need a new job? Do you want to move to Britain? PUSH THE SPARKLY BUTTON to begin this new and wonderful chapter of your life. NOW INCLUDES CANADIANS.
Dotty Headbanger’s Shitey Family – The Whole Sorry Story
The ongoing story of me and my family. Click here if you want to know who's who and what's what.
A Very Nice Picture Of Kumblant
This is Kumblant Zozeech, a very sad pygmy were-zompire who is fast becoming one of my best friends (little Emily, watch out). To read his journals CLICK ON HIM.
Dotty’s Doo Wop Collection
This is a picture of one of the cd cases in my doo wop cd collection. I didn't take the picture. Either click on it to read the bit of shite in there or look at the drop-down list for the songs.
DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS
I was going to show you a stack of books to click on for DOTTY BOOK REVIEWS but I like this shoe.
Mucky Ducky & Fucky Ducky – Poetry in motion
CLICK ON THE YELLOW ONE TO KNOCK HIM OFF THE PINK ONE. QUACK QUACK.
DOTTY’S PET BLOGS
Go and add your blog to DOTTY'S PET BLOGS and fly, my little ones, fly away to see each other, but come back to your Dotty or I'll curl up and sigh and cry and die and my pretty balloons will be thieved away by a passing guttersnipe.
DOTTY FILM REVIEWS
Click on the telly for Dotty Film Reviews. Be careful not to poke the eye with your cursor or A THING will jump out and EAT YOU.
THE DOTTY HEADBANGER AWARD
This new Dotty Headbanger Award picture was designed by clownonfire for posh people who want a classier looking award picture than the one I created - never mind all the time and effort I expelled doing mine. Click on it to see how to get the award.
THE BRICK & SAUSAGE AWARD
If I was an award, this is the award I would be.
A Dotty Award
An award for We Who Are Mental and for Normals who want to be mental. Take it and keep it for yourself or give it out like other awards - the questions that go with it will appear if you click on our great and beautiful flag.
THE BEST EVER BLOGGING AWARD WITH BINS IN THE PICTURE
I'll never make another nice award. This is it, the only one. LIMITED OFFER - grab it while you can because it won't be here for long.
DOTTY’S COLLECTED COUNTRIES
Why, oh, why doesn't Smurfland like me? SMURFS, you little blue lovelies - come and visit me, please. What have I done to make you snub me like this?
Creepy & Freaky But True
Who keeps taunting me? Who is it? When I catch you I will do this to your head and your arm. I don't know what I'll do with the rest of you but be warned - I have suitcases. Lots of them.
FED UP OF FACEBOOK?
Click the green thing to sign up for Zurker and I'll get some shares.
DOTTY PAVAROTTI, THE SINGING FISH
We shall have a fishy on a little dishy, we shall have a fishy when the boat comes in. Dance to your Daddy, sing to your Mammy, dance to your Daddy when the boat comes in.
KILL ME NOW, I’M AN AWARD SLUT
This award was made by Elaine at elaine4queen. I asked her if I could have it. There's no hope for me, I'll be posting pictures of cute fluffy animals next. Click on it to see more awards made by my talented acolytes.
ANYONE WANT TO ARGUE?
I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?
Really Shitey Shite
Cumberland Sausages I Love You
EAT ME, EAT ME!
Notes From A She-Hermit ©™® 
therabbitholez
/ July 13, 2012Perhaps invest in a collection of hats or scarves so much more versatile and all you have to do is put it on, no more bad hair days.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear trh,
I don’t like hats and scarves – if you’re wearing a hat and a scarf and a psycho comes along he’d pull the hat down over my eyes so I couldn’t see what was happening, then strangle me with the scarf.
Love Dotty xxx
1pointperspective
/ July 13, 2012Don’t worry your pretty little head about it Dotty. Hair is over-rated.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear 1point,
For men, perhaps! But not for women!
Love Dotty xxx
1pointperspective
/ July 13, 2012Your only hope is to go for the Trump Swirly-comb-over. Start working on it right away, so when the hair loss reaches the critical stage, your friends and family will not see the difference.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear 1point,
I tried doing a comb-over but I fell over my coffee table and walloped my chin on the carpet. It hurt.
Love Dotty xxx
1pointperspective
/ July 13, 2012May I suggest you take a page from many online personalities and make a pretend version of yourself? One with luxurious flowing locks of hair, no phobias of the outside world, nor any abnormal loves of cumberland sausages….oh wait, never mind, then you’d be like everyone else! Keep being you Dotty – we’ll love you whether you have hair or not-so-much hair
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear 1point,
It won’t be the same if I go bald. Notes From A Bald She-Hermit or Being Bald And Mental And Loving It. No. Nonononononononono.
I’m going to ask Google for some hair restoring cream.
Love Dotty xxx
1pointperspective
/ July 13, 2012Of course! Google will give you the fix you need! Why hadn’t I thought of that?!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear 1point,
Hair is attached to brain cells. 😉
Love Dotty xxx
1pointperspective
/ July 13, 2012Looked at my profile pic lately? The hair/brain connection is obviously lost on me…a brain would only get in my way anyway.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear 1point,
I’m a bit hairbrained at times. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ July 13, 2012Bald women are cool.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Misfit,
On which planet?
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ July 13, 2012On planet Misfit.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Misfit,
That’s a very strange planet indeed. Very strange. Stranger than me, and I’m strange. But not that strange.
Love Dotty xxx
misfits' miscellany
/ July 13, 2012Some women look very beautiful with a shaved head. As long as the carpet DOESN’T match the drapes, I’m sold.
You thought I couldn’t turn a simple tonsorial commentary into something prurient? Well, ha ha to you.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Misfit,
Hairy Mary had a …
No, I won’t let you turn me lewd.
Love Dotty xxx
EllaDee
/ July 13, 2012I checked with my friend Sinead O’Connor, and she said she checked with her friends Telly Savalas and Yule Brynner, and they said NO WIGs, and when you get to 7245 to ask again, in case things have changed.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Ella,
Sinead O’Connor HAS hair now, I saw her singing on telly (not Telly Savalas, though she might have done at some point in the past, it’s not impossible).
Love Dotty xxx
Grumpy
/ July 13, 2012Dear Dotty,
Don’t fret so. When a hair falls out, the follicle has a rest for a while, before another takes its place. On average there are over one hundred thousand strands of hair on an adult head. Blondes average about 140,000 strands, brunettes average 108,000 and redheads average 90,000. You have 147245 hairs! You have more than your fair share of hair!
And I reckon you must be a blonde!
Grumpy x
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Grumpy,
My hair is ALL colours. When I have a centre parting I’m like a rainbow. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
clownonfire
/ July 13, 2012Dotty,
Wigs are great. I see them all the time on Coronation Street, and on your Queen. It thought it was mandatory for all you Brits?
Le Clown
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear clown,
It is, but only Southerners wear them now. The Coronation Street cast are trying to appeal to the middle classes who live down there, so the wigs have to stay. Sad but true.
Love Dotty xxx
habibadanyal
/ July 13, 2012Dear Dotty,
the last time i read your posts you had hermatitis and now wig phobia! God bless your poor soul.
Love,
Habiba.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Habiba,
I still have Hermititis (and People Phobia), they won’t go away.
Love Dotty xxx
Mondrak
/ July 13, 2012Sounds like you are wigging out 😉
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Mondrak,
That one deserves a huge GROOOOAAAAANNNN! 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ July 13, 2012Dear Dotty,
Have you tried Nioxin?
Love, Lis
xoxoxo
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Lisa,
What’s Nioxin?
Love Dotty xxx
Carr Party of Five
/ July 13, 2012Dear Dotty,
http://www.nioxinscalptreatmentinfo.com/
Love, Lis
xoxoxo
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 14, 2012Dear Lisa,
Thank you, I’ll try it.
Love Dotty xxx
Angel Fractured
/ July 13, 2012Get Rogaine for Women.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Angel,
What’s Rogaine?
Love Dotty xxx
Angel Fractured
/ July 13, 2012Rogaine is a product for regrowing hair when you’re losing it. Here’s more about Rogaine for Women: http://www.rogaine.com/women/
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 14, 2012Dear Angel,
Thank you, I’ll try it.
Love Dotty xxx
kzackuslheureux
/ July 13, 2012Dear Dotty, What if it’s a synthetic wig, like a halloween wig? I don’t even want a real-hair wig to brush across my skin. GROSS! Get some plugs, because I agree, you are likely going bald, balder than an American Eagle 😀 hee hee
Love, Alphabet
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Alphabet,
No! Synthetic wigs are just as scary, even moreso. HORRIBLE.
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ July 13, 2012Could you come count my hair? I think I lost some yesterday while editing my manuscript . . . as in tearing out my hair!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 13, 2012Dear Robin,
Of course I will, when my eyeballs have uncrossed themselves and migrated back to their usual, front-forward looking position (in about three or four days).
Love Dotty xxx
robincoyle
/ July 13, 2012I’ll be waiting with comb in hand.
Phil
/ July 13, 2012Hey now! Stop wiggin’ out about this. Oh wait, maybe that’s not a good figure of speech.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 14, 2012Dear Phil,
No, it isn’t. 😉
Love Dotty xxx
judithatwood
/ July 14, 2012My dear Dotty,
Skip the wig — you can be bald and beautiful, when that day comes around. 😎
Love,
Judith
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 14, 2012Dear Judith,
But then people would call me Dotty the Egg.
Love Dotty xxx
paralaxvu
/ July 15, 2012I commiserate with you. As I’ve gotten into my 60s, hair seems to be coming out that is not being replaced. I know I’m blonde (well, ok, I WAS blonde, now it’s more like Anderson Cooper’s), but after while there have to be some bald spots. Then how do I cover the crud on my scalp? Wigs would only exacerbate it. Dandruff shampoo does not cure it. Good point about hats and scarves, too. Ummm, could I come live with you? Or you could come live with me and R and the two barking zombies, but you prolly wouldn’t want to…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 15, 2012Dear paralaxvu,
I’ll come and live with you. Britain is BORING and BAD.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 15, 2012Dear Dotty,
I don’t know……Being Bald And Mental And Loving It…it has a certain ring to it. I like it. I guarantee it would draw people in just to see what it was all about, esp. men…they have a certain perversion about women being bald. They’ll never admit it but whether they’re running their fingers through hair or over a bald head they don’t care, as long as it’s something feminine.
Once when I was taking a higher dosage of the medication Depakote my hair would get very thin in the front of my head and look balding on my scalp line. There was nothing I could do about it so I just ignored it figuring no one looked at me anyway. After lowering the dose it grew back. Now it just gets gray every time I look at it. But I earned those stripes as my auntie says. Bring out the hair dye and turn back the clock. My point is, it’s all in the mind. If you don’t mind no one else will either. Your wonderful personality will be all that they see.
It’s true, at least it works for my three personalities.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 15, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I know, men are pervs. 🙂
I haven’t cut or dyed my hair for ages, I look like a witchy hag.
Love Dotty xxx
Dorothy
/ July 16, 2012😀 I always blame the florescent lighting!!
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 17, 2012Dear Dorothy,
I blame me being a lazy sod. 🙂
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 16, 2012Every time you lose a hair, a barber gets his wings…
Besides, keep looking… I am sure you have new ones somewhere you weren’t expecting. All part of nature’s plan, me love.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 17, 2012Dear pmao,
Oh shite. Will I have to start shaving my chin soon?
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 17, 2012I have to trim my nostrils. Soon it will be my ears. Life can be so cruel.
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 17, 2012Dear pmao,
YEEEEUUUUURRRGGGHHH! The cruel part was you telling me that.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 17, 2012At least my back isn’t getting hairy… too much…
Dotty Headbanger
/ July 18, 2012Dear pmao,
Monkey man.
Love Dotty xxx
pouringmyartout
/ July 18, 2012hoo hoo ee eeee skreeech…